DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend has been trying to push the envelope on our intimacy boundaries. This leads me to get frustrated by his advances, or agree to do things I really don't want to do. I've agreed to new things just to silence his nagging. Am I the problem, or should he just be grateful that we're intimate in any way? -- Bothered by Boyfriend, Detroit
DEAR BOTHERED BY BOYFRIEND: You should never feel forced to do anything intimate that makes you uncomfortable. This is true whether your partner is your boyfriend or even your husband. The nature of intimacy is that it calls for trust. Trust is built by mutual respect. While it is not wrong for couples to explore new things and grow together in their intimate exploration, what does not work is for one partner to have to consent to participate in behavior that is uncomfortable or unwanted because the other partner is putting on the pressure.
Talk to your boyfriend about your concerns when you are not in the bedroom. Though it will likely be a tough conversation, you need to talk it out. Stand strong and make sure you say what you are feeling. If you feel unsafe, break up with him.