DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend has been trying to push the envelope on our intimacy boundaries. This leads me to get frustrated by his advances, or agree to do things I really don't want to do. I've agreed to new things just to silence his nagging. Am I the problem, or should he just be grateful that we're intimate in any way? -- Bothered by Boyfriend, Detroit

DEAR BOTHERED BY BOYFRIEND: You should never feel forced to do anything intimate that makes you uncomfortable. This is true whether your partner is your boyfriend or even your husband. The nature of intimacy is that it calls for trust. Trust is built by mutual respect. While it is not wrong for couples to explore new things and grow together in their intimate exploration, what does not work is for one partner to have to consent to participate in behavior that is uncomfortable or unwanted because the other partner is putting on the pressure.

Talk to your boyfriend about your concerns when you are not in the bedroom. Though it will likely be a tough conversation, you need to talk it out. Stand strong and make sure you say what you are feeling. If you feel unsafe, break up with him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had my brother help me out for a home-improvement project. I purchased every supply that was needed for the project. I don't know if I should pay my brother for his time and labor. I would drop everything in a heartbeat for him, and I know I completely took over a few of his weekends. Is it crude to pay him? I know I wouldn't accept payment from my little brother. -- Wage Dilemma, Hilton Head, South Carolina

DEAR WAGE DILEMMA: Even when you are working with family, it's smart to work through all the details of work projects before you get started. That includes whether the helper gets paid. And yes, that includes your brother. It is not too late to figure it out.

Start with an assessment. Do you have a sense of how much it would cost if you had hired someone to help you with this project? That would be helpful so you know what the value is. Next, do you have a sense of your brother's financial status? Is he financially secure, or could he really use the money?

I recommend that you speak to your brother about it directly. State the obvious: You realize you two did not talk about compensation for his time and effort. Thank him for the work that he has done for you, and ask him if he would like to be paid for it. You can offer a particular amount based on what you can afford and what seems fair.

The fact that you wouldn't charge him does not mean that you should expect the same of him. Let him tell you. If he refuses to accept money from you, buy him a present -- something that you know he would appreciate.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son goes to a boarding school a few hours away from home. I am very proud of his improvements, and he has made many friends. My son primarily has foreign friends who are international students. Since he is the boy closest to home, he has invited five international friends to stay at our home for a long weekend.

I am preparing to sell my home, and teenage boys aren't always the cleanest people -- especially six of them. How can I tell my son that he can't invite so many friends over? I feel horrible excluding some children who can't go home. -- International B&B, Syracuse, New York

DEAR INTERNATIONAL B&B: If at all possible, do not make your son choose among his friends. Since they are far away from home, these boys need to feel connected and cared for, not rejected or hand-picked. Instead, make clear ground rules. Decide on areas of the house where they can be and areas that are off-limits. Explain this to your son first, and then when the boys arrive, tell the group what you expect. Explain that you are selling your house, so you need them to respect it. Then monitor them.

Sure, they will probably be a bit messy. But if the area where they hang out is clearly defined, including the yard, if you have one, you should be able to manage them without too much of a cleanup job on the back end.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went over to a new friend's house for dinner a few weeks ago. In all honesty, I was served a horrible meal. Practically everything was burnt and over-seasoned. This was clearly not intentional, and I find it so endearing that she went to such lengths to put together the meal. However, I keep getting invited back. Instead, I try to steer the group toward restaurants. I love the company. I just prefer to enjoy my meal as well. Is it wrong of me to keep pushing for restaurants as opposed to a (burnt) home-cooked meal? -- New Friendships, Dallas

DEAR NEW FRIENDSHIPS: You are going to have to address the elephant in the room. This can be hurtful and awkward, so you do have to be careful. The next time your friend suggests hosting a dinner, offer to help her make the meal, or suggest that it be potluck. This can open the conversation for you to carefully and honestly express your concerns. If she says, "No, thank you," to helping with the meal, let her know how much you appreciate her offer, but that you have some dietary restrictions and can better manage that in a restaurant or if you help cook.

Or you could be way more direct while using humor, and tell your friend that you love her company, but you don't love her cooking. Tell her that you appreciate her invitation. From there, you can offer to help her cook so that the burden isn't solely on her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an aspiring comedian and have finally mustered up the courage to sign up for an open mic night. I haven't told my friends or family because I want to see if I can make strangers laugh, not just those who love me. Now I'm the most nervous I've ever been to perform, and I think it's because I won't have my support group there. Should I invite my friends and family, or is this worth going alone? -- Open Mic Jitters, Philadelphia

DEAR OPEN MIC JITTERS: By all means, invite your support group. If they help you to relax, welcome them to your first open mic. Trust that they cannot make the crowd react in a particular way, so the chances that they will sway the audience are limited. What they can do, which you clearly need and will appreciate right now, is help you feel comfortable and up for the job.

Other ways you can prepare for this debut include visiting the venue in advance so that you can be familiar with the layout; practicing your jokes until they seem second nature; remembering to breathe when you get nervous (something many people forget to do and which only makes you feel more uncomfortable); and trusting that you can do it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a dream to be a professional vlogger. I have been watching vloggers for years on YouTube and envy their jobs. So I decided it is my time to stop dreaming and start doing. I thought this was going to be a lot easier, and my friends make fun of me for constantly talking to a camera. I know I have the potential to make it big, but I just can't have snide comments under my vlogs! How can I tell my friends to hush it so I can have a great vlogging career? -- I Can Do It, Jersey City, New Jersey

DEAR I CAN DO IT: Your friends and their snide ways can serve as motivation for you. If you really want this, don't let them stand in your way. Prove them wrong and refine your camera sense, strengthen your voice and start posting. Be sure you are clear about your subject matter. In order to become successful at this, you will need to talk about something that others care about.

Since this will be video, take the time to stage your project. Be mindful of your surroundings. Check to ensure that the lighting is complimentary to you. Select wardrobe that looks good on you when you are on camera. Test your shot, and edit out anything that is distracting. While vlogs do not need to look perfect, it is good for your work to look clean and sound clear. In this way, you make it easy for others to engage it.

As far as comments go, please know that most people who post content online get strong negative commentary all the time. It seems that the anonymity of it allows for naysayers to troll the internet looking for content to attack. You will have to develop a thick skin in order to survive and thrive in this environment. So silently thank your friends for being critical. Toughen up and get posting!

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)