DEAR HARRIETTE: I am getting more and more nervous about the upcoming election. I am a very liberal democrat, but I rarely speak about my political views. Debates with others just exhaust me, so I make my voice heard at the polls.

I thought my friends shared views similar to mine until someone parked a tractor decorated with a candidate's slogan in the middle of town. I shuddered when I saw it, but I only heard praise for it when out to coffee with my friends. I now wonder if my silence there suggests that I was in agreement with the tractor. Is it time to speak out about my views, or should I just wait until all of the political talk dies down? -- Take It to the Polls, Meredith, New Hampshire

DEAR TAKE IT TO THE POLLS: Silence can mean many things. It could have suggested to your friends that you agreed with their stand. If you feel adamantly about this political race, even though debating may exhaust you, you should speak up and state why you are making the choice you are making. One thing you can do is organize a debate-watching party, where you let attendees know in advance that you are welcoming people who may support different candidates. Plan to have a discussion after the debate where everyone shares their views. Get others interested in what can prove to be a lively discussion. In this way, you don't have to bite your tongue, and you may just influence a vote or two! At the very least, if you are able to inspire people to go to the polls to express their individual choice by voting, you will have done a great thing.

DEAR HARRIETTE: For the past few months, I have realized that my food money runs very low at the end of the month. Whenever I go to the store, I come in with a mental list of what I need and the meals I want to make. From there, I make impulse purchases in the store, like cookies or vegetables that end up wilting or rotting in my fridge. How can I help my food budget at the end of the month? -- Impulse Chocolate, Syracuse, New York

DEAR IMPULSE CHOCOLATE: It sounds like you are shopping while hungry, which is one of the most dangerous ways to spend your money. Make sure that you go to the grocery store on a full stomach. Also, make a written list of what you need to purchase. As you travel through the store, check off each item from your list. Resist the temptation to purchase anything that was not already written down.

To ensure that you do not feel completely deprived, add one affordable indulgence. A small container of chocolates or a small box of cookies -- something that doesn't spoil -- could be added. As far as vegetables go, select enough for one or two servings to reduce the potential for waste.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My landlord lives in the apartment below me in a three-family home.

It was my boyfriend's birthday recently, and I hosted the celebration, with 15 people. This was on a Friday evening, and we were all wrapped up by 11 p.m. On Saturday, I got a knock on my door and learned my landlord was mad at me for having people over. He told me he doesn't condone "huge house parties," and that I kept him up. My rent isn't cheap, and I don't think I did anything wrong by having people over once for a celebration. I want to stand up for myself because I think my landlord is accusing me of being a bad tenant because I am young and hosted one small celebration. -- Last Friday Night, Dallas

DEAR LAST FRIDAY NIGHT: Rather than getting into an argument with your landlord, you can apologize for any disturbance your celebration may have caused him. Then point out that you rarely entertain. This was a special occasion, and it wasn't a large group.

In the future, let your landlord know in advance if you are hosting a party. Honestly, whenever you can, it is wise to invite the neighbors to parties because that cuts down on them being annoyed by whatever disturbance the event may cause. Obviously, it would not be appropriate to have your landlord come to your boyfriend's dinner party. But possibly inviting him over for a toast before the evening began might have softened him up.

Everybody lives on a different schedule. Your 11 p.m. Friday evening ending time seemed respectful to you. Obviously, it was annoying to him. You will need to work together toward a middle ground in the future. Giving him the heads-up is a great start.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I mentioned to my dad how I lend my car to friends pretty frequently. He got so upset with me, I was completely taken aback. He yelled at me about insurance and liabilities.

I trust my friends, and I don't see why I shouldn't lend out my car. They all have clean driving records and don't have cars of their own. I never lend it out for huge road trips, just for a trip to a grocery store or for one night. Is this a generational difference, or could I possibly be as reckless as my father thinks I am? -- Take the Wheel, Fort Lauderdale, Florida

DEAR TAKE THE WHEEL: This time, I think your father is right. Even though your friends have clean driving records, what would you or they do if they got into an accident? Your insurance would go up for sure. Would they be able to pay for damages?

Check your insurance policy. Does it allow for drivers who are not related to you? What type of coverage do you pay for? You need to be crystal clear about how you are protected and how they are protected. Finally, if you do let them continue to drive your car, you need to make clear agreements with them about what they pay for if they ever do get into an accident.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a senior in college. This summer, I adopted a rabbit. I left this rabbit at home, with my parent's permission, and planned to take it in the second I had my own place after college. I still live on the college campus as a resident assistant, and animals are prohibited in the rooms.

Two days ago, my mother called to me to tell me they had surrendered my rabbit to a shelter a week ago because I wasn't home to take care of it. I feel like I let down this animal, and I am furious at my parents. The rabbit has been re-homed (I called the shelter), but I feel so betrayed by my parents. They didn't see that this rabbit was important to me. -- Runaway Rabbit, Chicago

DEAR RUNAWAY RABBIT: I hate to tell you this, but you cannot blame this situation on your parents. You are the one who adopted a pet before you were ready to care for it. It was irresponsible of you to leave a live animal with your parents, forcing them to be responsible for it until you had the wherewithal to take it back. It would have been nice for your parents to call to give you the heads up that they were going to take the rabbit to the shelter, but I'm sure they didn't because you would have begged them to keep it.

Caring for pets is a serious responsibility that you cannot force on someone else, even your own parents. What's great is that the rabbit is alive and being cared for by someone who has the time, space and attention to do so properly.

You should apologize to your parents for putting them in this compromised situation, forgive yourself for trying to do more than you could at the time you adopted the rabbit, and chart your course more carefully from here on out. Before you get another pet, evaluate your life to be clear as to whether you can care for it properly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in the same town as an acquaintance I went to high school with. We run into each other more frequently than I would like, and every time we speak, he asks for my attendance at his lectures. I don't want to spend money watching him speak, and I certainly don't want to share my contacts list for him to begin harassing my friends. At first I thought this was avoidable by slighting him whenever possible, but evasion is no longer working. Is it time to be direct with him? -- Not Your Audience, Boston

DEAR NOT YOUR AUDIENCE: You can be direct with this person. Next time he asks you to attend a lecture, wish him luck with it as you add that you will not be attending. If he asks why, tell him that you spend your free time pursuing your personal interests. Wish him well as you state that his area of expertise is not one of your passions. If he pushes you for referrals, tell him no, that you are not comfortable sharing your contacts with him.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)