DEAR HARRIETTE: My landlord lives in the apartment below me in a three-family home.

It was my boyfriend's birthday recently, and I hosted the celebration, with 15 people. This was on a Friday evening, and we were all wrapped up by 11 p.m. On Saturday, I got a knock on my door and learned my landlord was mad at me for having people over. He told me he doesn't condone "huge house parties," and that I kept him up. My rent isn't cheap, and I don't think I did anything wrong by having people over once for a celebration. I want to stand up for myself because I think my landlord is accusing me of being a bad tenant because I am young and hosted one small celebration. -- Last Friday Night, Dallas

DEAR LAST FRIDAY NIGHT: Rather than getting into an argument with your landlord, you can apologize for any disturbance your celebration may have caused him. Then point out that you rarely entertain. This was a special occasion, and it wasn't a large group.

In the future, let your landlord know in advance if you are hosting a party. Honestly, whenever you can, it is wise to invite the neighbors to parties because that cuts down on them being annoyed by whatever disturbance the event may cause. Obviously, it would not be appropriate to have your landlord come to your boyfriend's dinner party. But possibly inviting him over for a toast before the evening began might have softened him up.

Everybody lives on a different schedule. Your 11 p.m. Friday evening ending time seemed respectful to you. Obviously, it was annoying to him. You will need to work together toward a middle ground in the future. Giving him the heads-up is a great start.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I mentioned to my dad how I lend my car to friends pretty frequently. He got so upset with me, I was completely taken aback. He yelled at me about insurance and liabilities.

I trust my friends, and I don't see why I shouldn't lend out my car. They all have clean driving records and don't have cars of their own. I never lend it out for huge road trips, just for a trip to a grocery store or for one night. Is this a generational difference, or could I possibly be as reckless as my father thinks I am? -- Take the Wheel, Fort Lauderdale, Florida

DEAR TAKE THE WHEEL: This time, I think your father is right. Even though your friends have clean driving records, what would you or they do if they got into an accident? Your insurance would go up for sure. Would they be able to pay for damages?

Check your insurance policy. Does it allow for drivers who are not related to you? What type of coverage do you pay for? You need to be crystal clear about how you are protected and how they are protected. Finally, if you do let them continue to drive your car, you need to make clear agreements with them about what they pay for if they ever do get into an accident.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a senior in college. This summer, I adopted a rabbit. I left this rabbit at home, with my parent's permission, and planned to take it in the second I had my own place after college. I still live on the college campus as a resident assistant, and animals are prohibited in the rooms.

Two days ago, my mother called to me to tell me they had surrendered my rabbit to a shelter a week ago because I wasn't home to take care of it. I feel like I let down this animal, and I am furious at my parents. The rabbit has been re-homed (I called the shelter), but I feel so betrayed by my parents. They didn't see that this rabbit was important to me. -- Runaway Rabbit, Chicago

DEAR RUNAWAY RABBIT: I hate to tell you this, but you cannot blame this situation on your parents. You are the one who adopted a pet before you were ready to care for it. It was irresponsible of you to leave a live animal with your parents, forcing them to be responsible for it until you had the wherewithal to take it back. It would have been nice for your parents to call to give you the heads up that they were going to take the rabbit to the shelter, but I'm sure they didn't because you would have begged them to keep it.

Caring for pets is a serious responsibility that you cannot force on someone else, even your own parents. What's great is that the rabbit is alive and being cared for by someone who has the time, space and attention to do so properly.

You should apologize to your parents for putting them in this compromised situation, forgive yourself for trying to do more than you could at the time you adopted the rabbit, and chart your course more carefully from here on out. Before you get another pet, evaluate your life to be clear as to whether you can care for it properly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in the same town as an acquaintance I went to high school with. We run into each other more frequently than I would like, and every time we speak, he asks for my attendance at his lectures. I don't want to spend money watching him speak, and I certainly don't want to share my contacts list for him to begin harassing my friends. At first I thought this was avoidable by slighting him whenever possible, but evasion is no longer working. Is it time to be direct with him? -- Not Your Audience, Boston

DEAR NOT YOUR AUDIENCE: You can be direct with this person. Next time he asks you to attend a lecture, wish him luck with it as you add that you will not be attending. If he asks why, tell him that you spend your free time pursuing your personal interests. Wish him well as you state that his area of expertise is not one of your passions. If he pushes you for referrals, tell him no, that you are not comfortable sharing your contacts with him.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I lent my friend an older laptop charger that I have because hers was broken and she needed it for work. When she gave it back to me, it did not work. I mentioned this to her, and she said she noticed it was older so it would probably break soon. She had this charger for 5 days, and gave it back to me broken!

I told my friend that she should pay for a new charger; they cost $80, and mine worked when I gave it to her. She told me the most she would do is a third of the price. Should I take the deal? I can't believe a "friend" would get so aggressive about money like this. -- You Break It, You Buy It, Denver

DEAR YOU BREAK IT, YOU BUY IT: Ask your friend if your old charger worked a third of the way to helping her complete her work, or if she was actually able to use her computer. That might get her to thinking rationally. Tell your friend you will be happy if she can find a used one that works that she could buy for her suggested price. Essentially, you expect her to replace your charger with one that works. Tell her that you are shocked at her attitude. When you rescued her with your charger, she happily took it. That she returned it to you broken -- without saying anything -- is unconscionable.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My children are in elementary school, and I have been reading mommy blogs about how to incorporate children into chores. I have tried to make washing dishes into a fun game, but I get a lackluster response from my two boys. The same goes for other cleaning and outdoor work. I explained that if they help, mommy has more time to have fun. They didn't care. Are some kids just less inclined to do chores or help around the house? I know I never got a break from sweeping and dishes growing up. -- Sweeping Sons, Chevy Chase, Maryland

DEAR SWEEPING SONS: Think back on what motivation your parents used to get you to do chores. I doubt they talked about the incentive of fun. I suggest that you teach your sons that it is the responsibility of every member of a household to contribute to the maintenance of the house, inside and out. This is not optional, and it is not so that you can have more fun. As you see, that can backfire because children are focused on having fun for themselves.

Give your boys specific, manageable tasks to complete. Let them know that they will not be allowed to play outside or inside, including playing computer games, until their chores are complete. You will then have to be true to your word. If the dishes aren't washed or the yard work is incomplete, make sure that the TV is off, the video games are powered down, the phones are in your possession and basically that anything that they would consider fun is out of reach. Consequences help to drive actions.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)