DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a senior in college. This summer, I adopted a rabbit. I left this rabbit at home, with my parent's permission, and planned to take it in the second I had my own place after college. I still live on the college campus as a resident assistant, and animals are prohibited in the rooms.

Two days ago, my mother called to me to tell me they had surrendered my rabbit to a shelter a week ago because I wasn't home to take care of it. I feel like I let down this animal, and I am furious at my parents. The rabbit has been re-homed (I called the shelter), but I feel so betrayed by my parents. They didn't see that this rabbit was important to me. -- Runaway Rabbit, Chicago

DEAR RUNAWAY RABBIT: I hate to tell you this, but you cannot blame this situation on your parents. You are the one who adopted a pet before you were ready to care for it. It was irresponsible of you to leave a live animal with your parents, forcing them to be responsible for it until you had the wherewithal to take it back. It would have been nice for your parents to call to give you the heads up that they were going to take the rabbit to the shelter, but I'm sure they didn't because you would have begged them to keep it.

Caring for pets is a serious responsibility that you cannot force on someone else, even your own parents. What's great is that the rabbit is alive and being cared for by someone who has the time, space and attention to do so properly.

You should apologize to your parents for putting them in this compromised situation, forgive yourself for trying to do more than you could at the time you adopted the rabbit, and chart your course more carefully from here on out. Before you get another pet, evaluate your life to be clear as to whether you can care for it properly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in the same town as an acquaintance I went to high school with. We run into each other more frequently than I would like, and every time we speak, he asks for my attendance at his lectures. I don't want to spend money watching him speak, and I certainly don't want to share my contacts list for him to begin harassing my friends. At first I thought this was avoidable by slighting him whenever possible, but evasion is no longer working. Is it time to be direct with him? -- Not Your Audience, Boston

DEAR NOT YOUR AUDIENCE: You can be direct with this person. Next time he asks you to attend a lecture, wish him luck with it as you add that you will not be attending. If he asks why, tell him that you spend your free time pursuing your personal interests. Wish him well as you state that his area of expertise is not one of your passions. If he pushes you for referrals, tell him no, that you are not comfortable sharing your contacts with him.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I lent my friend an older laptop charger that I have because hers was broken and she needed it for work. When she gave it back to me, it did not work. I mentioned this to her, and she said she noticed it was older so it would probably break soon. She had this charger for 5 days, and gave it back to me broken!

I told my friend that she should pay for a new charger; they cost $80, and mine worked when I gave it to her. She told me the most she would do is a third of the price. Should I take the deal? I can't believe a "friend" would get so aggressive about money like this. -- You Break It, You Buy It, Denver

DEAR YOU BREAK IT, YOU BUY IT: Ask your friend if your old charger worked a third of the way to helping her complete her work, or if she was actually able to use her computer. That might get her to thinking rationally. Tell your friend you will be happy if she can find a used one that works that she could buy for her suggested price. Essentially, you expect her to replace your charger with one that works. Tell her that you are shocked at her attitude. When you rescued her with your charger, she happily took it. That she returned it to you broken -- without saying anything -- is unconscionable.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My children are in elementary school, and I have been reading mommy blogs about how to incorporate children into chores. I have tried to make washing dishes into a fun game, but I get a lackluster response from my two boys. The same goes for other cleaning and outdoor work. I explained that if they help, mommy has more time to have fun. They didn't care. Are some kids just less inclined to do chores or help around the house? I know I never got a break from sweeping and dishes growing up. -- Sweeping Sons, Chevy Chase, Maryland

DEAR SWEEPING SONS: Think back on what motivation your parents used to get you to do chores. I doubt they talked about the incentive of fun. I suggest that you teach your sons that it is the responsibility of every member of a household to contribute to the maintenance of the house, inside and out. This is not optional, and it is not so that you can have more fun. As you see, that can backfire because children are focused on having fun for themselves.

Give your boys specific, manageable tasks to complete. Let them know that they will not be allowed to play outside or inside, including playing computer games, until their chores are complete. You will then have to be true to your word. If the dishes aren't washed or the yard work is incomplete, make sure that the TV is off, the video games are powered down, the phones are in your possession and basically that anything that they would consider fun is out of reach. Consequences help to drive actions.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family has a history of breast cancer, and I am nearing an age where my rate of developing cancer is getting higher. I have been considering getting a preventive double mastectomy. Although this is not necessary for me right now, I want the closest thing to 100 percent certainty that I will see my grandchildren get married.

I have spoken to my doctor, and he recommends waiting on the mastectomy, provided I get frequent checkups to see if I develop something. However, he does note that I should do whatever I am most comfortable with. My husband has told the rest of my family about my medical dilemma, and now I am getting opinions from all sides. I want my medical opinions coming from my doctor only. -- Risky Business, Washington, D.C.

DEAR RISKY BUSINESS: It is understandable that you would be nervous about your health, given your family history. But it is also wise for you to consult with your doctor -- and to get a second opinion. Consult another cancer specialist, and have that doctor review your medical history to give you a second recommendation. I have spoken to many women who have a family history of breast cancer who have made a range of choices based upon medical input and their own instincts.

There now are a host of tests that can help to pinpoint the likelihood of you getting cancer. Take advantage of the new technology before taking extreme action. By all means, stay on top of your health.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Upon moving into my house, my landlord said utilities were included in my rent. After a month of living here, I received an electricity bill and called my landlord. He didn't pick up, but texted me that it was my responsibility. His statement about utilities wasn't in the lease, but he made a verbal promise to me. Is there any way I could make him honor his promise now that he's trying to make me foot the bill? -- Lights Off, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR LIGHTS OFF: This is why you must read the fine print. It is your word against your landlord's, and your rental agreement does not support your word. If at all possible, try again to have a direct conversation with your landlord. Appeal to his humanity. Tell him that you created a tight monthly budget based upon numbers that are now changing because he has changed his terms. Ask him to help you out. Remind him how much you enjoy living in this house, but you really need his help by honoring the verbal agreement he made with you.

If you cannot get to him in person, you can try having this conversation via text. If you get him to admit that he did verbally agree to paying the utilities, you could take him to court. But it is likely that you are going to have to pay this utility bill. You will have to balance out whether the headache, time and possible cost of attempting to get your landlord to honor his word is worth it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)