DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex-wife has recently remarried. I am indifferent about the marriage, but I need to communicate more with the new guy because my ex and I have children together. I want to talk to him about how my children will refer to him -- NOT "Dad" -- and how he plans on parenting them. How do I ask for him to meet with me? It doesn't matter if my ex is there. -- Not Their Daddy, Tucson, Arizona

DEAR NOT THEIR DADDY: As much as you won't want to hear this, I suggest that you start with your ex and tell her you want to have a conversation with her about the future. I doubt that it will ever work for you and her new husband to try to get on the same page without her blessing. You can tell your ex that you have been thinking about how things will unfold now that she is remarried, and you would like to check in with her husband so that the two of you can reach an agreement about his role. Ask for her blessing for the two of you to get together. If she agrees, let her know upfront what you have in mind, especially what he will be called and where and how discipline figures into daily life.

If you get to meet directly with the new husband, be respectful of him in his new role, and ask him to treasure your children, even as you remind him that you intend to be active in their lives.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in the suburbs, but on the outskirts of town, so I have a little more land. My neighbors have a garden and have been recently creating compost. They haven't told me this -- my nose has. There is a nasty manure pile and rotting food in their backyard. It is putrid, and I think they should move it. We already don't have the best relationship, so I would like this confrontation to go as smoothly as possible. -- No Manure, Poughkeepsie, New York

DEAR NO MANURE: Now is as good a time as any to put on your best behavior. You have to forge a positive relationship with these people if you want to stand a chance of enjoying the extra land you have acquired. So go on over there. Bring a bottle of wine if you think they would enjoy that, and ask if you can sit down and talk. Apologize for getting off to a rocky start, and suggest that you all start over, trying to figure out how best to get along.

Tell them that you have a concern that you really need to bring up with them. Ask for their blessing to share it. Then spill the beans. Tell them that you appreciate that they are trying to be eco-conscious, but that where they have placed their manure pile and composting heap are in direct line of your windows, and it's making you sick. Ask them if they would consider moving the pile or possibly also enclosing it in order to contain the odor. If you ask nicely, you may get a yes!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am about to reach five-figure savings. I've worked toward this goal for years through frugality and postponing pursuing my master's degree. I do not have a financial adviser of any kind, and I have just been letting the savings sit in a savings account. I look at online blogs about investing, and I feel like I would jeopardize my savings by trying to make more money investing in something I don't know much about. -- Sitting Duck Savings, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR SITTING DUCK SAVINGS: It is worth it for you to seek some financial advice for how to best leverage your savings. Financial professionals have been trained in low-risk to high-risk options for what to do with extra money. Since you are young, it is likely that you will be advised to put a certain amount of money in a higher-risk financial instrument because you can keep it there for some time. Some money will need to stay liquid, or immediately available to you, and other funds may go into an instrument that will yield a better return on investment than a savings account without creating the headache that you are looking to avoid. If you have a job where you are offered a 401(k) plan, for example, I'm sure you will be advised to match whatever your employer is putting in at the top level possible.

But that's just me, a layperson talking. Find a professional that you like. Start with your bank. Ask for a consultation, and listen to the options you are presented. Resist the urge to make a decision until you have heard several different companies' pitches. You can talk to insurance companies that also do investing, like Prudential or State Farm. You can go to strictly investment companies like Morgan Stanley or use a bank, any one from Chase to Citi to TD. Compare their suggestions, and select what makes you feel comfortable.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son has become friends with a new boy in his class, "Lukas." Lukas' father is an ambassador to the United States. Our sons have a play date soon, and I am unsure how to address the boy's father. I have never met him. Lukas' mother told me her husband was an ambassador. Is there an etiquette rule similar to referring to someone as "countess" or "duke"? I don't know how to refer to someone who is an ambassador. -- Foot in Mouth, Newark, New Jersey

DEAR FOOT IN MOUTH: Stop fretting and make this easy on yourself. Call Lukas' mom and ask her directly how you should address her husband. Tell her you want both your child and you to be respectful of him and his role. Find out his preference.

Chances are, he would like to be called by his first name by you and whatever the protocol is for your child and his school when it comes to the children. Generally, families put titles and work roles to the side when dealing with their children, but it's worth knowing. If you do anything socially with them, it will be good to know expectations in social settings.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: This summer, my husband and I went overboard on spending money. Between vacations, summer camps and overzealous back-to-school shopping, we have found ourselves pretty low in the barrel. Our children have been asking for new clothes and toys, and we are unable to deliver. We are focusing on keeping food on the table, the mortgage paid and saving again. How can I talk to my kids about having less money to spend in terms they can understand? They are elementary- and middle-school-aged, and they seem to think we have a huge surplus of income. -- Scraping By, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR SCRAPING BY: Financial adviser and author of "Do I Look Like an ATM?" Sabrina Lamb thinks it's important for parents to reveal to their children what the family household income and expenses are. She says that if you are not honest and open with your children, they will not understand what the family's financial reality is. I like the idea that you should show your children the family budget so that they can see in black and white how much money is coming in and how much is going out.

Your family may want to include a summer budget in your discussion so that everyone can see that you spent too much during the warm months and have to streamline now to recoup. If your kids see it plain as day, it will be harder for them to try to make demands that you cannot fulfill. Just remind your children that whatever you share about your financials is confidential, and you expect them to keep the family finances to themselves.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a model during my gap year from high school to college. This is something I always wanted to do, so I was ecstatic when I was signed with a few agencies around the world. Now that I am in the modeling world, I find myself jealous of other models and their careers. I beat myself up over not doing as well as them. I know we have different measurements and faces, but I constantly find myself comparing my career with other models who are more successful and younger than me. It seems impossible for me to keep my head down and focus on myself. -- Strut, Pittsburgh

DEAR STRUT: The modeling business is one of the most difficult industries. The people who fill the role are hired in large part on completely subjective reasons. Specific aspects of how they look guide the hiring practices of model bookers. These are the facts. With this in mind, you have to understand that your unique attributes are the things that will attract the attention of those who hire models.

In addition, your hard work at keeping your skin clear, keeping your body trim and fit (even if you are a full-figured model) and your ability to move with grace and confidence will help to give you an edge. One other factor is that just like any other career, you have to give yourself fully to it in order to become successful. A one-year commitment may not be enough to build momentum. Give it your absolute all so that you can find out. Be positive!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)