DEAR HARRIETTE: I love going off the grid. I feel like we are so constantly accessible that it makes me feel free when I don't have a phone on me. I don't do this for days at a time, just 12-hour blocks. It makes me feel completely refreshed. My friends and family get surprisingly mad about texts and calls going unanswered. I am never in danger, and I have the right to my privacy. When I tell them that I just want to be alone, they claim I am being selfish and should at least give them the courtesy of responding. Am I being rude by taking time to myself? -- All Alone, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR ALL ALONE: I love that you are not bound by technology. What you must do is train your loved ones to expect you to be disconnected for blocks of time. Promise that you will contact them if you are ever in trouble. Recommend that they try your version of being unplugged.

Interestingly, people who are always connecting to others via phone, text and various forms of social media often feel isolated and lonely. It seems like a contradiction, but this may be because the depth of connection is superficial at best. If you are currently cultivating meaningful relationships with others, you may want to point that out to your loved ones. Don't forget to note the relationship with yourself that you get to grow because you are blocking out a lot of noise.

DEAR HARRIETTE: After a summer of working, I am back at my university for another year of learning. I signed myself up for six classes, plus I work part time. This is in addition to clubs and organizations. Last year, my routine was quickly established, and I would already have all of my ducks in a row, so to speak. This year has me overwhelmed and unable to fall into a steady routine. I don't think too much has changed since last year, and I am just trying to get my motivation and routine back in order. How can I take the first proactive step? -- Waves of Work, Atlanta

DEAR WAVES OF WORK: You sound efficient and well-organized, both excellent traits. You must also leave space for fluidity and change. Every year at university can become exponentially more complicated and challenging. That is part of the nature of higher learning. You cannot predict how everything is going to work out, nor how smoothly you will transition into the semester.

Your first proactive step may just be to accept that this semester is different from the last. Give yourself permission to pay close attention to what classes need more time and focus. Creating a schedule based on what you learn will help you to complete your work effectively.

While it sounds like you are busy at school, it would be great if you could carve out time on a daily basis that is unplanned. When can you do whatever you want -- or nothing -- in the day? Amid classes, clubs, organizations and work, you seem pretty overloaded. Establishing a healthy rhythm should include some time for you, even if it is only a few minutes each day.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother and I lost touch for more than six months. We had always been inseparable siblings, but a few little arguments led to ignored calls. I called him a few days ago and left a voicemail, saying our late father would be disappointed in how we were acting. That finally got a reaction from him. However, instead of seeing that family should come first, he berated me for bringing our father into our argument.

I want my brother to stop being angry and to realize blood is thicker than water. I won't apologize for mentioning our father, especially since what I said was true. -- Sibling Spat, Cambridge, Massachusetts

DEAR SIBLING SPAT: Your brother is right. Bringing your late father into your standoff probably felt like you trying to guilt him into talking to you again. That was not a good strategic move. I recommend that you apologize, especially if your goal is to get to some meaningful moment of reconnection.

Reach out to your brother and let him know how much you miss him and regret that anything has come between you. Tell him that you mentioned your late father because you were hoping his memory might invoke good feelings. You are sorry that it did not. Tell him you want to revive your relationship and ask what he thinks you can do to that end.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my closest friends from college and I are finally working in the same city. We had spoken about getting an apartment together, so I went to work finding a place for us right away. I told her today that I found the perfect place for us, and she told me that she already found a house with friends in the suburbs and would be commuting to work. I was furious. I purposely didn't renew my lease because I thought I was moving. Now I'm stuck in the mud and mad at my friend. Is there any way we could fix this relationship? I have no idea where I can go now, and I'm getting kicked out in a month. -- Flaky Friend, Syracuse, New York

DEAR FLAKY FRIEND: I wonder about the conversation you had about getting an apartment together. How serious was it? When did it occur? Did you follow up with your friend as you looked for a new space? If you honestly believe that your friend led you on and then just dropped you, that's one type of reality regarding friend dynamics. But I sincerely question whether you made some assumptions without following up with your friend. To decide to move in together and identify an apartment, go through a credit check, make a down payment -- all of that should require active engagement on both of your parts. If that did not happen, it could be that your friend thought she was just shooting the breeze with an old college buddy rather than making a real plan.

Your first responsibility now is to find another apartment. After that, double back to your friend and talk through what happened. Let her know that you feel betrayed, and see where she stands.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a few days late in my cycle. This never happens to me, so I am definitely worried. Even worse, if I were pregnant, I have two possible "baby daddies." There's just no way I could explain this to my ex and someone I thought I'd never have to see again. If I turn out to be pregnant, how do I approach this very sensitive topic? -- Father 1, Father 2, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR FATHER 1, FATHER 2: Find out immediately if you are pregnant. There is no need for wondering. Take a test -- now! If you are pregnant, you have to decide how to handle the news. Ask your doctor how long it will take before you can determine the paternity of a child, but know that it is not instant. You are going to have to deal with the uncertainty well before this child comes into the world.

You must decide what you want. Obviously, you were confused in your relationship choices at the time of conception, or you would not have the question of who the father is. Right now, you need to assess what you want. Who would you want to build a life with? Would either man be willing to raise this child with you if the child were not his? Does either of you want a child? You have to assess that. No matter what, do not lie. Sort it all out with honesty and as much dignity as you can muster, speaking to each man individually. If possible, leave names out of it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have turned into the go-to caretaker for my friend when she gets too drunk. No one else wants to deal with her intoxicated ways, so I usually end up getting a call at least once a weekend. My friend "Jenna" means a lot to me, but when I always have to take care of her, it ruins the fun for me. I would never not come to help (she could be in an unsafe position), but I want to make her understand that her excessive drinking gives me mediocre nights because I feel like a parent to her. -- 21 and No Fun, Cleveland

DEAR 21 AND NO FUN: It is time for you to draw the line for your own sanity, and for your life. Your friend needs professional help, which you cannot offer. Right now, you are enabling her by watching out and scooping her up when she falls apart. It is time for you to tell her that you are no longer willing to be her rescuer. That means you have to stop going out with her until she gets her act together. Explain that she will either need to stop her irresponsible behavior or find someone else to answer her late-night calls.

Then you have to be willing to hold your ground. Alcoholics are living with a disease that often spurs them to irrational behavior. To support your extraction from this situation, consider visiting Al-Anon meetings (al-anon.org). Al-Anon offers free meetings designed to help the loved ones of people who are dealing with alcoholism.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)