DEAR HARRIETTE: After almost a decade of working through the state, I have decided it is time to open my first private practice. I scoped out locations in my town, and I think I found the right office for my budget. The problem is, the office looks a little run-down. I don't have the funds to completely renovate the space, but I think I would drive away clients if I were to open my practice this way. I need the money, though. Do you think I should open with the promise of renovating soon? I don't see another way right now. -- Fixer Upper, Upper Marlboro, Maryland

DEAR FIXER UPPER: Is there any way you can stay on the job long enough to save the requisite funds to complete the basics of the renovation? By your own account, you say the new office in its current state will drive away clients. Unless you can come up with an incentive that will promote your business and allow for the space to be imperfect, you should stay in your job. But give that some thought. What can you come up with to attract clients to your business despite the shabby environs? If you can make it worth the wait for a spruced-up space, go for it. Otherwise, wait and get everything in proper order.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are older parents to one child. Our daughter has just become a teenager, and while she does enjoy spending time with us, it can be torturous for her to go to adults-only parties that last for hours with no friends. Knowing this, whenever I can manage it, I find her something else to do.

Recently, my husband ran into an old friend from college and was excited to show off his family to the guy and his friends. My husband's friend invited us to a dinner party, but I cannot go because I have been under the weather. My husband insists that my daughter go anyway. While I imagine it will be nice for our daughter to meet these people, I'm certain she will be bored. Given that she could stay at home with me and chill and be more comfortable, what can I do to make it possible for her to stay home? How can I convince him to go have fun and let the teenager stay home with me? -- Compassion for the Teen, Milwaukee

DEAR COMPASSION FOR THE TEEN: If you can capture your husband's attention, remind him of how painful being the only teen in a room can be. Acknowledge that for him it would be great to show off your daughter, but what about her? Get him to think about her for a few minutes, and see if that helps him to reconsider. Remind your husband that your daughter will probably want to come home before he does. Ask him to at least split the difference for the curfew for their evening.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have wanted to get some sort of rebellious piercing for a while. I have shied away from anything extreme on my face and ears for fear of losing professional success. I spoke to one of my friends about how I'd feel more self-confident, and she suggested I get a nipple piercing. I told her I don't want people to see me sexually, and we got into a spat at our dinner. I looked into it, and even young supermodels are hopping on the trend of getting exotic piercings. I guess the tides are turning, but I don't know if I'm too old (and not a supermodel) to try this out. -- Need Something New, Boston

DEAR NEED SOMETHING NEW: I've got the cold-water-in-your-face question: Why? Why do you want a rebellious piercing? Figure out the driving force -- if you can -- as that will help to guide your steps. You may just need to do something that shakes up your life in a very different way. Could that be a vacation rather than a permanent hole about which you are completely unsure? What about some kind of kooky investment, like a piece of your favorite art? Stock in your favorite company? Dinner at a really expensive restaurant? My point is that you can do something that feels crazy but that matches your mood without being physically compromising.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a Japanese-American woman married to an American man. In the Japanese culture, the eighth wedding anniversary is said to give your marriage good luck. I mentioned the significance of our upcoming anniversary to my husband, but he shrugged this off. I find it important to celebrate my culture in the marriage as well as his. How can I turn my husband, who isn't really caring, into someone who will allow me to celebrate this little victory in my culture? -- He Doesn't Get It, Roosevelt Island, New York

DEAR HE DOESN'T GET IT: Springing this concept on your husband may have been the mistake here. Your job is to teach your husband about your culture over time so that he will be interested. Little lessons here and there can go a long way. Since you are approaching your anniversary now, it is up to you to make it special in ways that will acknowledge your heritage and include your husband without being annoying.

Think about what makes your husband happy about your union and what is special to him. Plan to emphasize what he appreciates, and let him know the plan. Incorporate the concept of good luck into your overall plans, including any special activities that should be part of the actual celebration, but don't make them highlights. Instead, make them accents.

I will add that if you have not incorporated aspects of your Japanese heritage into your celebrations in the past, but you really want to do so, now is your chance to speak up for yourself and make that known. On one hand, you will need to accept your husband for who he is and how he flows through life. On the other, you can help him evolve to embrace your cultural ways. Do it with baby steps.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: There's been some controversy about whether wearing an engagement ring to a job interview lessens your chances of securing the job. As an engaged woman, I read this article intensely and was unsure what to make of it. Could an employer actually label me as high maintenance because of the ring my fiancee gave me? The article I read mentioned that I would be more likely to receive a lower salary because my interviewer would know I will be married soon. I'm totally paranoid over this, and I'm trying to figure out how I could fight this injustice if I were to experience this type of discrimination. Is it really best to take off the ring? -- Business and Personal, Syracuse, New York

DEAR BUSINESS AND PERSONAL: This is partly why the title Ms. was fought for as a replacement for Mrs. or Miss -- to level the gender playing field. Know that any such bias you mentioned is illegal but extremely difficult to prove, as it may be unconscious. Unless you are ready for part of your hiring experience to include potentially fighting for a new layer of equality, you may consider taking off the ring during the interview. As an experiment, you might wear it for interviews that you don't really want, just to see what happens.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a shuttle driver in a small town. There is a college here as well, so I drive a mixture of "townies" and students. The students like me and enjoy listening to my jokes and banter, but don't respect that I can stop only at designated stops. Admittedly, I've broken my own rules a few times, and now I feel pressure to stop wherever students ask me to. I've tried putting my foot down, but they called me a buzzkill, and I ended up stopping anyway. This makes me a few minutes late to the stops, throwing off all the times for a loop just to stop exactly where students would like me to. How can I keep the students liking me while also doing my job? -- My Shuttle, My Rules, Maine

DEAR MY SHUTTLE, MY RULES: You need to take back control, which doubles as actually doing your job. The rules don't happen to be yours, which is fine. They are the rules of the town that determine where the bus stops are, all with the intention of making it comfortable for everyone to reach their destination on a clear schedule.

Since you have befriended some of your passengers, you can let them know that you must go back to the formal schedule in order to ensure that everyone is honored. Sure, they may balk at first and even call you names. Remember that you are the adult, and you have a job to do. While it is a bonus to have your passengers like you, make your first priority the safety of your passengers, followed by their comfort. If you completely stop favors and, at the same time, emphasize timely and pleasant customer service, you should be able to bring back most of those smiling passengers. Stay kind and professional. You will be a good example for them.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)