DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always been a "mommy's boy." I am turning 27 this year, and I thought it was finally time to give my mother her credit card back. This card has become of a symbol between us. I barely use it anymore, and I thought it would be a great way to show my mother that I can be independent. However, when the time came to give it back, she bawled and accused me of cutting her out of my life. This was not the reaction I was expecting. I thought she'd be proud that she had raised a son who can support himself. I ended up taking the credit card back with me because she left it on the table when she left the room crying. How can I let go of this safety net? I clearly didn't do it right the first time. -- Out of the Cradle, Washington, D.C.

DEAR OUT OF THE CRADLE: Welcome to this new phase of your life. Parents and adult children often go through twists and turns as they figure out how to be adults together. You do not need to relinquish that card. Shutting it down would likely impact your credit negatively. Instead, you can just stop using it. Put it in a drawer, and let it be. Or if you do decide to use it, pay the bill yourself, or set aside the amount that you owe and at the end of the year do something nice for your parents with that money.

Meanwhile, assure your parents that you had no intention of insulting them. Instead, you want them to see that they have done a great job of rearing a responsible young man, and that's all you wanted them to know.

DEAR HARRIETTE: After being laid off from my job, I thought I'd try to get into the cannabis industry. It appears to be booming, and I feel like there are still unturned stones there that could make a bunch of money. I spoke to a senior mentor from my old job, and his strong opposition to my business venture scared me straight. He explained that cannabis is still considered a drug just like cocaine or heroin in the United States. He told me the Drug Enforcement Administration would try to lock me up. I thought I had a revolutionary business model until this lunch. I have all of my money invested in my product and no job. I think I should just take a leap of faith. -- Cannabis Calling, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR CANNABIS CALLING: While your friend is somewhat right in that the federal government has yet to legalize the use or sale of marijuana nationally, there are many opportunities to enter this business, and many entrepreneurs are doing the research right now to determine how they can fit in.

As with any other business venture, you must do your research thoroughly. This includes learning what legal constraints exist and what relationship you can expect with the DEA. Don't give up until you have exhausted your research. One place to start is theweedbusiness.com. You should also contact medical marijuana sellers and businesses in the states where the sale of marijuana is legal to get more input.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend "Michael" keeps putting everything off until he gets in better shape. When I say "everything," I mean it: vacations, activities, switching jobs, even leasing a new car. It has become almost comical how far Michael can stretch the notion that he needs to wait until he is in better shape to do something.

Recently, I snapped at my friend and told him that he either needs to change his physique or stop complaining and actually have a productive life. He hasn't spoken to me since. I don't want to apologize. I want Michael as a friend, but I think he needed this wake-up call. Is there anything I can do now? -- Snapped, Detroit

DEAR SNAPPED: Sometimes being a good friend means being the one who throws cold water in your face. That never feels good even if it is the best thing to happen in that moment. Rather than apologize, you may want to check in on your friend. Contact Michael and tell him you miss him. Ask him how he's doing, and tell him about your life. Invite him to do something with you. A simple check-in and invitation may coax him out of this space in his life where he seems to be stuck. It is worth a try.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My only daughter is getting married in a month, and my husband doesn't want to talk about this occasion at all. I have prodded him, which usually leads to him snapping at me. I can't tell if he is upset his little girl is getting married, doesn't like her fiance or doesn't think they've been together long enough. I want him to be honest with me. I am his wife, and this is one of the few times he's ever shut down on me. I want answers from him to see if he's just aching watching his daughter growing up, or secretly reaching a boiling point. -- Dead Silence, Milwaukee, Wisconsin

DEAR DEAD SILENCE: Check in with your daughter to see if the two of them have talked at all about the upcoming wedding. Encourage her to reach out to her dad to connect over the ceremony. Has she asked him to give her away? Perhaps an overture from her will break the ice on this uncomfortable moment.

As far as you are concerned, you can share your feelings about your daughter's upcoming wedding. Tell your husband the range of thoughts and feelings you are having, seeing your daughter grow up and take this huge step, recognizing that she is no longer a child, thinking about her future. Just talk and share your ideas in a calm manner. On occasion, ask him to chime in.

Before the wedding, ask him directly if he has any reason to think your daughter should not marry her fiance and if he is going to participate in the wedding. You need to know the basics in order to manage that day. The rest will reveal itself in time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: As a child, I fell into a strange habit: I always have to wash my feet before I go to bed. I hate putting dirty feet in my bed (where I like to feel clean), so I have gone to ridiculous lengths to covertly wash my feet, especially because no one else thinks this is a big deal. I have washed my feet in sinks, with hand wipes and even using an outdoor hose. I will be going abroad on a World Wide Opportunities in Organic Farming program that has limited showers and water. I don't want my weird habit to inconvenience my trip, but I can't fall asleep if my feet are dirty -- it gives me goose bumps just thinking about it. How can I manage my secret habit in a totally foreign land? -- Clean Toes, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR CLEAN TOES: Your secret practice is not that strange. In many parts of the world, it is considered an absolute requirement to take off your shoes before you enter a home so that you don't bring dirt from the road into the home. Same goes for entering sacred spaces. Your philosophy of not putting your dirty feet into your bed makes perfect sense.

Rather than hiding your habit as if there is anything wrong with it, just do it. With limited water, you may want to take extra wipes with you that you can use to wipe off your feet. You can even find wipes with soap in them, which will help to clean your feet more efficiently.

DEAR HARRIETTE: When visiting my daughter a few states over, the topic of grandchildren came up. She told me we needed to talk, sat me down and explained to me that she never plans on having children. My daughter has medical conditions that could be passed down to offspring, but that is not guaranteed.

I am devastated, and I told her that she should still try to have children -- it isn't too late for her. She got upset with me for not listening to her, and she accused me of caring more about being a grandmother than her wishes. I am thinking of how to bring up adoption to my daughter without stepping on her toes further. -- Want to Be a Safta, Denver

DEAR WANT TO BE A SAFTA: Your first job is to apologize to your daughter and admit that your desire to be a grandmother clouded your ability to listen to her fully. Go back to her and ask her to tell you about her concerns again. Your daughter is dealing with the realization that either she can't or won't have a child -- it's possible that her doctor advised her against giving birth. Let her know that you want to support her in any way that you can. Become a good listener. Hear where her head is now. She may not be capable of considering adoption until far into the future, if ever. If you notice a moment that feels comfortable enough to bring up adoption, do so gingerly, but no time soon. Like your daughter, you may have to accept that children are not part of your future.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)