DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend "Michael" keeps putting everything off until he gets in better shape. When I say "everything," I mean it: vacations, activities, switching jobs, even leasing a new car. It has become almost comical how far Michael can stretch the notion that he needs to wait until he is in better shape to do something.
Recently, I snapped at my friend and told him that he either needs to change his physique or stop complaining and actually have a productive life. He hasn't spoken to me since. I don't want to apologize. I want Michael as a friend, but I think he needed this wake-up call. Is there anything I can do now? -- Snapped, Detroit
DEAR SNAPPED: Sometimes being a good friend means being the one who throws cold water in your face. That never feels good even if it is the best thing to happen in that moment. Rather than apologize, you may want to check in on your friend. Contact Michael and tell him you miss him. Ask him how he's doing, and tell him about your life. Invite him to do something with you. A simple check-in and invitation may coax him out of this space in his life where he seems to be stuck. It is worth a try.