DEAR HARRIETTE: I believe my friend, "Anna," is making up a dairy allergy. When we are at restaurants, she makes a scene about how nothing can be cooked in butter or coated with cheese. However, if we go out for ice cream or desserts, she has no problem eating soft serve and chocolate crepes! I would never call her out in a public situation, but I think she is just embarrassing herself by claiming to have a dairy allergy and not actually knowing what that entails. Should I let her in on what ice cream is actually made of or let this embarrassment play itself out? -- Attention Hog, Boston

DEAR ATTENTION HOG: By all means, pull your friend aside in private, and ask her if you can give her some feedback. It's good to get permission before you go in on folks so that they know some kind of criticism is on the way. Tell her that you have noticed how she dramatically points out the dairy products she cannot eat at restaurants, while she also eats other dairy items. Suggest that she figure out more specifically what her allergies are so that she can honor her body at all times. You can also recommend that she make a little card that lists her food allergies to give to the waiter when she goes to a restaurant so that the message gets across without the need to include members of your dining party in on her eating limitations.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am preparing for my first move out of the house. I am moving five hours away, into my own home, but I feel unsupported by my family. It is clear I need help -- I don't have my own mode of transportation yet, or any furniture -- yet no one is stepping up to help me. I barely have time to borrow my mother's car to get kitchen supplies before she needs it to go out to yoga or dinners. I feel so overwhelmed and unprepared. How can I make this move easier on myself? -- Unfurnished and Unprepared, Atlanta

DEAR UNFURNISHED AND UNPREPARED: It could be that your family is giving you a taste of what living on your own will be like. Rather than being angry, take on this challenge from that perspective. After all, whether they help you or not, you are moving, so you have to figure it out. How can you get to your various destinations without help? What is the public transportation like? Do you have friends who may be willing to pitch in and help? What is your plan for furnishing your new place? You must figure out the steps to fulfilling your life. Now is your time to demonstrate to yourself that you can be independent and pave your way for the future.

As it relates to your family's lack of support, they may also not want you to leave. Separation at any age can be difficult. Instead of being angry or hurt, let them know how much you love them and that this move is important to you, but you intend to stay close to them.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I travel frequently for work. After a promotion, I treated myself to a nice carry-on bag. It is high tech, and it came with a battery so I can charge my electronics on the go.

In the few weeks between trips, friends and roommates have asked if they can take my suitcase on a trip. I don't want to share my carry-on, and I would be angry if it were broken. It is clear I won't be using it every weekend, since my work trips are twice a month. How do I make it clear that I won't be sharing my latest splurge without seeming like a selfish friend? -- Carry Off, Cleveland

DEAR CARRY OFF: Uh-oh! It looks like you have been bragging a little too much about your new toy. Now your friends want in on it. Here's what you can do: Tell the truth. Start by admitting that it would break your heart -- and your wallet -- if you loaned your carry-on to someone and it got broken, for whatever reason. Tell your friends that you value your friendship too much to allow a carry-on to stand in your way.

To avoid potential conflict down the line, suggest that anyone who is interested in your bag should buy one for him- or herself. Direct the interested party to the store where you purchased it, and leave it at that.

If you have an old carry-on that is currently out of rotation, feel free to offer that as an option. If you get the wanton look that says, "This is not the one," remind your friends that you are keeping the peace by holding onto your new bag.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I came to the realization that I don't like going out with my husband anymore. I love him, and my favorite times always involve us at home just talking to each other or being goofy. In the past couple of months, I've realized picking a restaurant, movie or activity to go to seems like a chore. He never initiates outings because he is a homebody. I want to go see a show or go to dinner with my girlfriends and their husbands without feeling bad that my husband isn't there. Is this normal? I love him with all my heart, but I hate going out with him because he just wants to go home. -- Homebody and Busy Bee, Lancaster, Pennsylvania

DEAR HOMEBODY AND BUSY BEE: Talk to your husband. Chances are, he is fine with the idea of you hanging with friends outside of the house occasionally and staying in with him. You may want to encourage him to do something with you away from home once a quarter, so that he doesn't become completely reclusive. You may also consider hosting small events at home, anything from inviting one couple over for dinner to staging a larger party. Get creative within the parameters that make you both comfortable, and find a new level of magic in your marriage.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage son, "Jack," has his mind set on asking a girl he likes to his homecoming dance. He is planning an elaborate scavenger hunt that ends with him surrounded by balloons and a poster. Jack has been working on this with his friends, and I overheard them mention the possibility of her declining. Apparently a boy on the football team wants to ask this girl as well.

I don't want to let Jack know I was eavesdropping, but I know I would be crushed and embarrassed if I went through all of this work just to have a girl reject me for the quarterback. Should I tell him to set his sights on another girl or let this possible disaster run its course? -- First Cut Is the Deepest, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR FIRST CUT IS THE DEEPEST: You should not dash your son's hopes. What you should do is encourage him to make his invitation as soon as possible. Without giving away what you overheard, you can point out that as wonderful as his plan is, it would be awful if he were too late to get the girl.

Prepare yourself to comfort him should he be rejected, but don't give up hope. If this girl also likes him, she may be blown away by his thoughtfulness and pick him even though the jock is also interested. Timing is essential here. Jack stands the best chance of a sustained yes if he gets to her first!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was scrolling through my online banking statement, and I saw a charge for $100 from a tattoo parlor in Rhode Island. My daughter is visiting her friends there, so I knew immediately who the culprit was. I called her, and she told me she got an homage to her best friend on her wrist.

I cannot believe my daughter got a tattoo with my money. She knows I am very disapproving of any ink. I don't know where to go from here. She is in college (which I pay for) and doesn't have a job, so she uses my credit card. My daughter didn't lie about the tattoo, and I can't legally force her to get it removed. I don't think she cares about my stance on tattoos or realizes how disrespectful it is to use my money for it. -- At My Wit's End, Winston-Salem, North Carolina

DEAR AT MY WIT'S END: It's time for a review of how your daughter can use the money you give her. Remind her of how much you disapprove of tattoos. Thank her for telling you the truth about her tattoo, and then make it clear to her that you do not appreciate that she used your card to pay for it. Point out that as she is growing up, she needs to be mindful of her choices and how she funds them.

While you clearly cannot control what your daughter does, you can let her know that if she makes another choice that she knows you will not approve of, she had better not fund it with your money or there will be consequences: She will have to reimburse you, or you will cut off her stream of income.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)