DEAR HARRIETTE: My home has been overtaken by the stench from my husband's ratty workout sneakers. He has had these sneakers since college, and he refuses to get rid of them. It's disgusting, and all of my pleas to put them in a box or gym bag have been ignored. I have tried plugins, scented candles and air fresheners, but years of stench have overpowered the house.

I think my husband has such a strong connection to his old workout clothing from college because he secretly hopes it'll help him get back to the shape he was in. I don't want to stage an intervention over smelly sneakers, but I do want to get past this phase of coming home to a reeking house. -- Stinky Sneaks, Bowie, Maryland

DEAR STINKY SNEAKS: Put the sneakers in the wash with strong detergent and bleach. Do not put anything else in with them unless you have other smelly workout clothes that match the sneakers. This should clean them and also rid them of odor. There is an outside chance that you will need to wash them more than once. The sneakers will get cleaner and may show a little more wear because of the washing machine, but ultimately you may reach a compromise.

Beware: Your husband may not be happy, but you can point out that at least you didn't throw them away!

DEAR HARRIETTE: Upon my aunt's death, I received her cat to take care of. She loved Tiger, and I was the most willing to promise that I would look after him when she passed. Now that I have Tiger in my home, he keeps running away! He is overweight, diabetic and 14 years old -- not the recipe for an outdoor cat.

He runs away at every opportunity and has learned to open screen doors. I don't have the time or energy to chase this cat for hours every day. I keep Tiger because I wouldn't want to disrespect my aunt and her wishes, but he is too much of a handful. What can I do with this cat to make everyone happy? My husband and children are indifferent. -- Fat Cat, Silver Spring, Maryland

DEAR FAT CAT: Your aunt's cat might be escaping because he is looking for your aunt. Since they were together for years, he may be mourning her. Or he may be out of sorts because he is in a new home with new people.

Consider investing in an alarm collar for the cat to wear that will let you know his whereabouts when he runs off. As you may know, cats tend to be aloof, so it is not unusual for the cat to wander off. The challenges that you face include his potentially getting lost and sick. If you have to administer medicines regularly, this could be dangerous if you cannot find the cat.

If you feel that Tiger's health and safety are in jeopardy, you may want to consider giving him up for adoption. You may be able to find a family who would have the time and patience to give an aging cat the love and attention that he needs.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always felt insecure about my nose. I saved up enough money to have my nose made smaller and straighter. My parents definitely weren't supportive of me changing the nose that my heritage gave me. After going through with the surgery, I like my nose even less. The issue now is, I used all of my plastic surgery money on this first correction.

I asked my parents for a loan to have a second surgery, and they denied me. I want them to support my self-confidence, and I need to change my nose again to be happy. I want to get my nose done again, but the process of saving up took me years. -- The Nose Knows, Boston

DEAR THE NOSE KNOWS: Sadly, your parents were right in this situation. And I'm surprised your doctor didn't require you to have counseling before you went under the knife. While plastic surgery can be incredibly useful, what it often is not good for is boosting self-esteem if there is a significant challenge already there. This is because self-esteem issues exist in your heart and soul even if you believe they manifest through your exterior.

I am not saying, by the way, that you might benefit from an additional corrective surgery. I am saying that your parents' refusal to advance you money for this surgery does not mean that they are not supporting your self-confidence. You may benefit more directly by working with a therapist for a bit, to see if you can tackle any issues lingering beneath the surface. Then, whether you ever get your nose altered again will be less important because you will have dealt with the bigger issues involved. Check to see if your insurance may cover it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been beating myself up because I haven't had my kids do any of the summer homework they were assigned to do. School is starting up in a few weeks, and motivating my children is next to impossible now. I have been debating hiring a tutor to force them to do the work, but I don't know if my children will react negatively. How do I motivate them to stick their noses in the books and not in the pool? -- Bad Mom, Palm Springs, California

DEAR BAD MOM: In these last few days or weeks before school, do all that you can to get your children to focus. Be like a drill sergeant. Plan out the day and let your children know what you expect of them. Break down each hour into tasks that include specific homework assignments and play time. If they do not complete the homework, take away privileges such as TV, cellphone, video games, visits with friends, etc.

If you believe a tutor will help support the quality and completion of their work, by all means hire one. Now is not the time to worry about how your children will react. Instead, coach them to smart actions by reminding them that school is right around the corner and that they want to be ready to do a good job in their classes.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My home has a mouse problem, so I set out glue traps to capture them. I heard that a mouse was trapped in the night, but forgot about it come morning. My preteen daughter, who has just taken a huge interest in animal rights, opened the drawer and saw the mouse. She was horrified and told me I was a monster for setting out the traps and waiting for the mice to starve to death. I feel bad, but I cannot have mice running rampant in the house. My daughter is upset with me, but I feel like there isn't another alternative for these vermin. -- Little Animal Advocate, Dallas

DEAR LITTLE ANIMAL ADVOCATE: This may be the perfect time for the two of you to do some research into animals. Of course, it makes sense that you should be kind to animals and respect them. At the same time, everyone -- human and animal alike -- must stake out his or her territory. In the natural cycle of life, animals mark their turf, and when others invade it or cross the line in one way or another, they have to pay. This sometimes can cost the creature's life.

You have the right to keep your home free from vermin and therefore safe for humans to inhabit. You also have a choice in terms of the means of eliminating pests. Glue traps do lead to slow deaths. The more traditional snap traps immediately kill the animals and are also reusable. Your daughter may be more affected by seeing a mouse with a broken neck, though. Another option is to get a cat. Typically, homes with cats rarely have mice or rats because the cats kill the vermin. Once the feline smell is detected, vermin choose other locations to call home.

DEAR HARRIETTE: While I was baby-sitting for a new family, the children told me that their mother doesn't let them eat much and forces them to exercise. It is obvious that the children are overweight, but I am not sure if the mother is acting on professional medical advice or her own beliefs on how children should look. The children complain about hunger because they don't want to eat "Mommy's gross food."

I have been on the fence about mentioning this information to the parents because they might feel I am overstepping my boundaries. I don't think they neglect their children; I just know I was chubby as a child and grew out of it naturally. I don't think it's necessary to force children into diets. -- Mom's the Personal Trainer, Toledo, Ohio

DEAR MOM'S THE PERSONAL TRAINER: One way to address this with the mother is to ask for advice on how to support the children's healthy living initiative that the mother has started. Inform her that the children have told you about the exercise routines and eating changes and admit that they are not enthusiastic about it. Ask if you can help to encourage them to adopt healthier habits.

Without advocating for a diet, you may be able to partner with the mother to encourage the children to move more and eat more healthfully. If they can see it as fun, they may begin to appreciate it.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)