DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex-fiancee and I left off on a bad note. She walked in on me being unfaithful, and I don't think I can ever unsee the hurt in her eyes. We never got closure, and she refuses to speak to me since that horrible night.

I obviously have regrets about what happened, but now I am just focused on making sure she is safe and OK. I find myself driving by her house or parking in front a few times a day just to see if she's doing all right. Her flowers are watered, she's frequently in and out of the house and I don't think she's had many people over. I can't bring myself to stop checking on her house. Is this wrong? I feel like as long as it does not negatively impact her life, it is OK if I cruise by. -- Guardian Angel, Teaneck, New Jersey

DEAR GUARDIAN ANGEL: I hate to tell you this, but your ex would probably think of you more as a stalker than an angel. You betrayed her trust, and now you are lurking around "watching over her." This is not a good idea.

Sadly, you made a huge mistake that has cost you this relationship. You see that she is doing fine and living her life. It is time for you to move on and live yours. You have some inner work to do so that you can evaluate your choices. Why did you cheat on your fiancee? What do you want in the future in terms of a relationship? Do you believe you can be faithful in future relationships? Figure out where your head is so that you are ready for what lies ahead. Meanwhile, leave your ex alone.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I come from a traditional Italian family. For generations, the husbands have always worked while the wives took care of the children and had dinner ready at the end of the day. My wife has begun talking about opening up a store in our town. I don't want my wife to work and invest her money in this store. I keep telling her that retail is down and she might lose her money, but she can't stop thinking about opening up her own store.

I want my wife to stay home with our children and cook dinner. With this new store idea, it looks like I won't be able to have home-cooked meals anymore. How can I persuade my wife to be rational and do what is best for the family? -- Happy Wife Means Happy Life, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR HAPPY WIFE MEANS HAPPY LIFE: What you really need to do is have a talk with your wife about values and the changing roles that she is considering for the family. She clearly is not happy with the status quo. She is pleading with you for your blessing for her to try something new. Talk about what that might look like. How can the family figure out how to give her space to try this enterprise and keep hot meals on the table? If you are willing to look at your life differently, the two of you may be able to figure this out.

And remember: If you want home-cooked meals, you could always cook them yourself.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently graduated college, and I finally found a job in my field. After eight long months, I can finally say that I have a job doing what I want to do. The only problem is that my dream job requires me to relocate. I'd have to leave Ohio behind and embark on a new journey to Washington, D.C.

Although I am a college graduate, I didn't stay on campus. I lived with my parents all four years, so leaving for D.C. would be my first time living on my own. My parents are worried and hesitant about me taking the job because I've always lived with them. They say that it wouldn't be as nerve-racking if I left home but stayed in Ohio.

I'll admit that I'm anxious and nervous as well, but I honestly feel as though it's time for me to spread my wings. How will I ever become fully independent if I never leave home? I want to figure out how to make it on my own. This is my dream job in the field I studied in college. Who knows when another opportunity like this will come along?

How do I convince my parents to let me go? I understand that it's difficult because I'm their only child, but I need to leave and be on my own at some point in my life. I don't want to miss this opportunity because they're afraid to let me go. I have faith in my degree and myself. -- Ready to Leave, Cleveland

DEAR READY TO LEAVE: Leaving home is a huge step toward independence; in your case, it's exacerbated by your being an only child. Stay strong and follow your dream. Yes, this will likely be hard for you and your parents. Have some solace knowing that your parents will not be alone. They have each other. You will be fine because you have the values they taught you and your plans for your career. As long as you stay focused on your goals, you will be able to navigate your life and learn to make independent decisions.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine just got a face-lift. We are around the age where these procedures are normal, but I would not go under the knife. Honestly, I don't want to be seen in public with her with her face all wrapped up. I think walking around for weeks with your neck and chin compressed makes you a beacon for stares and judgment. I think women should not feel societal pressure to get face-lifts to look younger and better for their husbands.

I support my friend's right to do whatever she wants, but I need a go-to excuse for when she tries to make plans with me. Any suggestions? -- Under Wraps, Boston

DEAR UNDER WRAPS: Do your best to stop judging your friend. When you can accept that this is her choice and not yours, it will be easier for you to be with her, however she looks. You can choose not to engage the people who may be eying her curiously because of her bandages. It is on her to defend herself -- or not.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: For the past 12 years, I've taught kindergartners through third-graders. I love kids, but as the years pass, I don't feel like this is my calling. I feel like I fell out of love with teaching. I still believe in the kids who I teach, but I can't see myself spending the next five years at the same school teaching in the same grade.

Since I've been 5 years old, I've loved to dance. I kept up with it throughout my teen years and well into my adult life. I still dance at least three times a week. I understand that maybe this is just a hobby, but I think that I should look deeper into my passion for dance. There has to be some reason as to why I've kept dance in my life for over 20 years.

I already have a teaching degree, so I don't think I'm too far away from becoming a dance instructor. I have more than enough experience in both dancing and teaching. By combining what I love to do with what I know how to do, I will set myself up to never run out of passion for what I'm doing.

Currently, financial security lies in teaching. I don't have enough in my savings account to open my own dance studio, but I really don't want to continue teaching now that I know what I want to spend the rest of my life doing. Should I give up teaching within the next two years? I feel like that's enough time to budget and save the remaining balance. -- Finding my Passion, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR FINDING MY PASSION: Your contemplations have led you to a crossroads, which is fantastic. Now it's time to make a plan. It would be unwise and even reckless to quit your job without setting in motion a clear plan for financial stability and happiness. If you want two years to be your sightline for change, start looking for opportunities to teach individual dance classes at existing studios now. Look into elementary schools -- both public and private -- to see if there are positions available for dance teachers. Search. It would be optimal to find a full-time job that allows you to shift teaching to dance and maintain a full-time salary.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend is having a hard time adjusting to her life after an illustrious professional basketball career. She used to fly first class and dine at the best restaurants in the world. Now I see her moping around the house because she is not playing the sport she loves. Is there any way I can cheer her on as she transitions to a regular lifestyle? -- A New Normal, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR A NEW NORMAL: While your girlfriend is trying to figure out what's next, suggest that she volunteer at a center where basketball is taught. If she can engage with the game in some way, it will at least keep her active. She should also write about her past experiences. Suggest that she journal about what she did, learned and enjoyed. This can be cathartic for her. Ultimately, she has to turn the page. She had an exciting chapter in her life. It is up to her to define what's next.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)