DEAR HARRIETTE: For the past 12 years, I've taught kindergartners through third-graders. I love kids, but as the years pass, I don't feel like this is my calling. I feel like I fell out of love with teaching. I still believe in the kids who I teach, but I can't see myself spending the next five years at the same school teaching in the same grade.

Since I've been 5 years old, I've loved to dance. I kept up with it throughout my teen years and well into my adult life. I still dance at least three times a week. I understand that maybe this is just a hobby, but I think that I should look deeper into my passion for dance. There has to be some reason as to why I've kept dance in my life for over 20 years.

I already have a teaching degree, so I don't think I'm too far away from becoming a dance instructor. I have more than enough experience in both dancing and teaching. By combining what I love to do with what I know how to do, I will set myself up to never run out of passion for what I'm doing.

Currently, financial security lies in teaching. I don't have enough in my savings account to open my own dance studio, but I really don't want to continue teaching now that I know what I want to spend the rest of my life doing. Should I give up teaching within the next two years? I feel like that's enough time to budget and save the remaining balance. -- Finding my Passion, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR FINDING MY PASSION: Your contemplations have led you to a crossroads, which is fantastic. Now it's time to make a plan. It would be unwise and even reckless to quit your job without setting in motion a clear plan for financial stability and happiness. If you want two years to be your sightline for change, start looking for opportunities to teach individual dance classes at existing studios now. Look into elementary schools -- both public and private -- to see if there are positions available for dance teachers. Search. It would be optimal to find a full-time job that allows you to shift teaching to dance and maintain a full-time salary.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend is having a hard time adjusting to her life after an illustrious professional basketball career. She used to fly first class and dine at the best restaurants in the world. Now I see her moping around the house because she is not playing the sport she loves. Is there any way I can cheer her on as she transitions to a regular lifestyle? -- A New Normal, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR A NEW NORMAL: While your girlfriend is trying to figure out what's next, suggest that she volunteer at a center where basketball is taught. If she can engage with the game in some way, it will at least keep her active. She should also write about her past experiences. Suggest that she journal about what she did, learned and enjoyed. This can be cathartic for her. Ultimately, she has to turn the page. She had an exciting chapter in her life. It is up to her to define what's next.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: In the past few months, I've realized that my husband always has an excuse to be on the phone. He claims it's one of his relatives or the office calling, but I feel like this is too frequent to be work and family. I trust my husband to a degree, and I just want to get to the bottom of this. Is work really so stressful? Has he been trying to get a promotion? Could there be another woman?

I want to figure out how to calmly bring this up with him, because in the past I've dominated conversations and gotten very accusatory. My friends have noticed, too; in the middle of a dinner, he got a call and rushed off to the hallway. How do I bring this up with him? I was thinking about doing this in a restaurant so we wouldn't be able to let our tempers flare. -- Wake-Up Call, Dallas

DEAR WAKE-UP CALL: Your note suggests that your issue is bigger than the phone calls. That you feel you have to bring the topic up in a public setting to help control your husband's temper is a clear sign that you feel unsafe. Do what makes you feel safe. This means that you should first evaluate what happens after you confront your husband.

What do you want? Do you feel your marriage is worth saving? If so, would you be willing to invite your husband to counseling? Do you desperately need to know the truth? If so, are you willing to hire a private investigator and wait for results? Do you want to know the truth but can't afford the professional help? Are you willing to look at his phone when he's sleeping or pay to have it hacked?

Yes, the options are intense, but they are real. You have to decide how much you believe you can and will trust your husband to tell the truth, and more, what you want in the end. If you honestly want to continue your marriage, figure out a way to talk to him about this so that you do not accuse him of behavior that could be hard to forgive. Be honest without pushing too hard. Take your time to find the truth and to get him to choose you. If he does not, then you have a clear next step.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends, Jessica, went through a messy divorce and has been down on herself for years after her husband left her for a younger woman. Two months ago, she told me she met an amazing guy. Today, she told me she's engaged! Rushing into marriage is completely out of my comfort zone. I waited years before marrying my husband. I know some successful couples stay together after a short time knowing each other, yet I don't see the harm in waiting. Jessica already complained about "hags" who are "jealous of the love" they share. I can't totally support Jessica on jumping the broom so quickly, because I don't think it's enough time to really get to know someone. Should I tell her how I feel or keep my mouth shut? -- Not the Biggest Fan, Baltimore

DEAR NOT THE BIGGEST FAN: Keep your mouth shut unless Jessica asks for your opinion. If she chooses to talk about her nuptials, you can ask her questions to get her to open up about what she likes about this man and what her plans are for the future. You can even recommend premarital counseling, which is common for all couples. If she is willing to do that, she will have a chance to have mediation between them before she makes the ultimate step.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: As a child, I was never surprised with gifts. Since age 7 or 8, my parents have checked with me to make sure I wanted the gift they were planning on buying me. Now I have a habit of always checking in with someone before buying him or her a gift. I don't know if they already own it or even want it!

I know this way of shopping for others ruins the surprise, but is practical. I'm torn on what to do. Should I continue my practical gift-giving or live a little and surprise people? -- No Surprises Here, Westchester, New York

DEAR NO SURPRISES HERE: Here's a question: Do your friends ultimately appreciate the gifts that you give them? If so, you may end up being like your parents, the practical giver. Find out how your friends experience your gifts. If they truly do not like receiving practical gifts from you, you may consider stretching a bit. Imagine what you think they might prefer. Think about their lives and interests. If you could choose anything -- within your budget -- to give them, what would it be? Consider buying that thing and getting a gift receipt so they can return it. In this way, you experience the best of both worlds, the practicality of the recipient easily being able to return it, and the surprise of them not knowing what you got them before they open it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: This summer has been killer. The heat is so high, and I feel like I'm doing my best to go from one air-conditioned building to the next. My attempts to stay cool sometimes fail, and I arrive to lunch or someone's home clearly perspiring. Although I am obviously hot, some people still try to hug me! I find this gross and uncomfortable for everyone around. How can I go about declining hugs in the sweaty heat? -- Sweltering Heat, Atlanta

DEAR SWELTERING HEAT: Stay on the offensive. I do believe people will appreciate it! Here's an example: I visited with a friend recently, and it was super hot at her house, simply because of the stifling humidity outside. When it was time to say goodbye, I told her that I did not want to hug yet, as I was literally sweating, and I thought it would be gross. We had the luxury of sitting in an air-conditioned room for a bit before I exited. When the second moment for a hug came, I agreed to offer it tentatively.

The point is to say it upfront. Tell your friend or colleague, "Hey, it's too hot to hug! I care about you too much to sweat on you!" Take the direct approach -- most people will appreciate it. Even when it comes to shaking hands, have a handkerchief or some other cloth handy so that you can wipe off your hand and avoid offering a wet palm to shake. Trust that anyone you encounter will appreciate your candor and effort.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)