DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend "Stassie" was just laid off from her job as a receptionist at a hair salon. Stassie has been going on job interviews and hasn't heard back from anyone. I think how she presents herself may have something to do with her lack of employment.

Stassie loves to wear neon makeup, and she wakes up hours early to make sure her hair and face are done up to the nines. I love how she takes pride in her appearance, but I don't think potential employers are as accepting of neon yellow eyeliner.

I want to encourage Stassie to try a more natural look for work and then put on her favorite makeup after hours. But I don't want to offend her when I tell her; I just want her to land a job. -- Daily Fake Eyelashes, Cincinnati

DEAR DAILY FAKE EYELASHES: Maybe you can tell her my story: As a young woman, I was committed to working in fashion. When I had the opportunity for a job interview, I traveled from Washington, D.C., to New York City with a couple of outfits for the interview. Thank God, my friend who was helping me out looked at my outfits. One -- my preference -- was high fashion, and included glitz and plenty of makeup. The other was a suit with a simple white shirt and conservative makeup. My friend cautioned me against the runway look, explaining that the job called for professional dress, at least for the interview. She told me to never choose fashion over professional presentation when looking for a job. I wore the suit, and I got the job.

Be frank with your friend. Neon eye makeup is appropriate for the club and fun times, not for work.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, my estranged cousin reached out to my sister and me. We have not seen her in years due to drama between her mother and father. We are related to her through her father, with whom she no longer has contact because of an ultimatum from her mother. The last time we saw our cousin, we were teenagers; we are now well into our 20s. We have spoken over text messages and made plans, but our cousin always flakes. We are all in the same city for the summer, and she reached out to us yet again.

My sister and I love our family, but question how serious our cousin is about meeting up with us. I don't want to have to wait at a restaurant at a table set for three yet again. Should my sister and I agree to meet with her? -- Stood Up for Years, Richmond, Virginia

DEAR STOOD UP FOR YEARS: Why not tell your cousin that this is her last chance. Make it clear that if she stands you up, you will not show up the next time. Next, make the date. Go to the restaurant, and you and your sister should order 15 minutes after your meeting time. Enjoy each other as you wait. This way, no matter what, you will have a good time. Hopefully, your cousin will drum up the courage and presence of mind to come. If she does, do not berate her. Be supportive and listen to her. She is going through a tough time. Love her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is away at sleepaway camp, and my husband and I miss him terribly. We know he is fine, but we long to see pictures of him. His camp posts photos on a private Facebook page, and every day I go to the page to find my son, but I have seen him only once in five days. I don't want to be the parents who complain incessantly on the page when they don't see their children and demand to have them post pictures. How can I get my message across without seeming like a crazy parent? -- Missing My Boy, Denver

DEAR MISSING MY BOY: Why not send a direct message to the camp head via his Facebook page? When you use that feature, the message goes to that person directly, without being broadcast to the other parents who are commenting on the page.

Take a deep breath and be calm before you start writing. Let the camp head know how much you miss your son; state his name and cabin name -- if you know it -- and ask if he would have someone look for your son and post a picture as soon as they find him. Thank him and express how grateful you will be to see your son's shining face. Kindness and discretion may help you to see your son soon!

DEAR HARRIETTE: Today I was shopping a sale, and I tried on a men's sweater. I enjoy wearing oversized clothing, and I find that men's clothing sometimes suits me better. During the sale, an employee came up to me and told me that I was trying on men's clothing and that I could find clothing for women on the other side. I wasn't sure how to respond when it was so clear that he expected me to move to the women's sale. I fibbed and said I was trying on clothing for my lanky younger son.

I don't want to lie, and I don't feel as though I should have to. Sometimes I just want an oversized T-shirt or sweater! How can I concisely explain myself without being rude to salespeople? -- Either Section Is Right, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR EITHER SECTION IS RIGHT: It's completely understandable why you were left flat-footed. The salesperson was not paying close attention and was not attuned enough to respond to the moment by supporting you. Truth is, you may have found the perfect sweater where you were, or there may have been a better option in the women's department while still oversized. So, the salesperson stumbled by making it uncomfortable for you.

In the future, forget feeling uncomfortable. You are the customer! You could have said, "Oh, yes, I know where I am. I am looking for an oversized sweater for myself. Do you think you could help me find something just the right size for what I have in mind?" That would have left enough wiggle room for the salesperson to look in the men's department or head toward the women's section. The key is your level of comfort and confidence in leading the way.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am currently downsizing my life after realizing I have too many things in my possession. I recently donated 10 bags of clothes, and I threw away at least 10 bags full of garbage -- and I live in just a one-bedroom apartment!

I made a promise that I would never live like a hoarder again. What are some safe measures I can take to ensure that I do not keep so many things I really do not need? -- The Hoarder, Bronx, New York

DEAR THE HOARDER: Give yourself credit for recognizing that you hold on to too much stuff. You are not alone. That you want to safeguard yourself from collecting more things you don't need is smart to think about at this time when you have just purged. One way to do this is to assess exactly what possessions you do need in your life. This should include the basics: kitchen utensils and food, furniture, clothing, toiletries, accessories, etc.

Before you make a purchase of any kind, stop and consider if you truly need whatever the item is. Reject impulse buys by resisting the temptation to purchase or bring home anything the first time you see it. You will find that you accumulate far fewer items by saying no the first time you consider acquiring them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Since my friend's father recently passed, it has put a strain on our friendship. He seems a bit distant these days because we do not talk as much as we used to. I ask him if he wants some company, and he normally declines. I just want him to be better and make our friendship as it once was. Do I respect his space, or should I let him be? -- A Friend in Need, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR A FRIEND IN NEED: It's important for you to accept that as things happen in life, relationships change. Your friendship may never return to the way it was before your friend's father died. That is normal -- even if it is tough for you. Staying in the present and actively choosing to support your friend is your job.

He is processing a pivotal moment in his life: the loss of his father. Chances are, he doesn't have much to say. Dealing with loss is a deeply personal process. Rather than trying to get him to talk, think of activities that he has enjoyed that are simple and fun. Invite him to do those things. Do not try to guilt him into spending time with you. Instead, stay in touch. You can call to say you are thinking about him. You can send him texts and emails from time to time with upbeat messages and photos. Continue to invite him to do things with you, and be patient. When he is ready, he will respond. Just don't crowd him too much. He needs space to move through this time in his life. You need to find other things to do in the meantime.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)