DEAR HARRIETTE: I found myself doing some freelance work for my father. He is opening a stone company and needs help with his website. I have been editing photographs of stone and coming up with the descriptions of where the stone would fit in a home or business.

Originally, I thought this would be a great way to make some extra cash and help my father out, but it's difficult. Normally, a workday ends when you leave the office. In this case, my father will come over for a family dinner and spend the whole time talking about business. Or he'll call me at night to talk about tweaks I should be making. I understand and accept criticism, just not at all hours of the day.

How do I make it clear to my father that just because I am freelancing for him does not mean he gets to stress me out about stone at all hours of the day? I don't want to make him angry -- we've just never worked together before. -- The Family Business, Richmond, Virginia

DEAR THE FAMILY BUSINESS: You and your father have not created boundaries around family and work. It's time to do that. Even though you are the child, you can step up and bring this to a clear conversation. Do so at the office, out of earshot of other people, so that nobody gets embarrassed. Tell your father that you enjoy working with him, but you feel uncomfortable about what has occurred, that you seem to be working at all hours whenever he chooses to come over or call. Tell him that you need to set clear working hours and refrain from working outside of that time unless you both agree on it.

Add that if your father feels compelled to engage you about stone even after you have brought your desire for office hours to his attention that you will need to charge him for the additional hours. Perhaps alerting him to the extra dollars will remind him to back off. If not, you will be making a lot more money until this relationship settles.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I grew up incredibly close. We are only a few years apart and were each other's best friends growing up. Now, we are on our own and in relationships. We're still fortunate enough to live in the same city. I would love to have double-dates with her, but she thinks my boyfriend would be a bad influence on hers. I knew she wasn't particularly fond of my boyfriend, but I didn't think she would actively try to keep our boyfriends separated. My boyfriend is definitely a little wilder and more adventurous than hers; however, I think they could get along.

I adore my sister's boyfriend and hope this is the one for her. As things get more serious between my boyfriend and me, I just want us to meet and hang out together. Why is she so worried about our boyfriends meeting? It's not like mine will force hers to go crazy. -- Double-Date Me, Cleveland

DEAR DOUBLE-DATE ME: Have a conversation with your sister, and find out what her worries are. She must think that her boyfriend is not as stable as she would like. Conversely, you may want to ask yourself what your boyfriend is really like. Getting to the truth may help both of you to strengthen your bond and determine natural boundaries for group interaction. Find out the basis for her concerns, and make decisions from there.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family is riddled with divorce. Practically every couple in two generations has split. Remarriages occur and create happy family members. My brother has been single for years after a string of bad relationships following a divorce. His ex moved the children to another state, and he works himself to the bone to be able to provide for them. I feel bad for him; it seems like he doesn't have any hobbies or happiness in his life.

I am getting remarried soon, so he will be the only single sibling. He got himself three cats recently, which I was against because it prohibits him moving freely. How can I involve my brother in my life to make sure he's doing all right? I've been working on trying to get him to move to my state, but to no avail. -- Building His Life Up, Boulder, Colorado

DEAR BUILDING HIS LIFE UP: Divorce is hard on the whole family and usually friends, too, so it's natural that you would like to figure out how to comfort your brother as you and the rest of the family seem to have moved on. As you attempt to help him, do know that you cannot spark happiness in his life -- nor is it your responsibility.

That said, you can make an effort. Invite him to join you for a sibling date. Invite him to come to visit you. Or suggest a sibling date without your spouse -- just you two or you and your other siblings -- where you go someplace fun and spend time together. Insist that he show up, and make sure that your life doesn't get too busy for you to go. Stay connected. That's what you can do.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister's birthday is coming up soon. We celebrate by going to dinner. In the past, my sister would tell us where she wanted to go. This year, she said she doesn't care about where we go and to pick a place that I like. This leaves me at a crossroads. I could give her a selection of restaurants to choose from, or I could surprise her. We have some overlapping cuisines that we both enjoy; however, our tastes do vary.

Should I bother her with more restaurant selections to make sure her birthday is as perfect as possible? Would it be bad manners to pick my favorite restaurant, since she doesn't care? -- Birthday Eats, Baltimore

DEAR BIRTHDAY EATS: Consider that your sister is telling you the truth. You can double-check by telling her that you are making a reservation at your favorite restaurant. Ask if she thinks she would like that. As long as you believe there are menu choices that she would enjoy, you are probably fine. Just make sure that you do something special that night. Select a dessert that you think she would love, and set it up to have the waiter bring it out with a candle so you can serenade her!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my grandmothers passed away suddenly five years ago, when I was a teenager. I miss her, and I wish we had had more time together. I want to make the most of the time my other grandmother has, but she lives in a different country. I see her about once a year, but it seems like the visits aren't enough. I want to have a deeper connection with her. She doesn't particularly like talking over the phone, and does not understand how to FaceTime or video chat. How can I reach out to her meaningfully without going broke flying to see her? -- Can't Miss Connections, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR CAN'T MISS CONNECTIONS: It is a blessing to have your grandmother, and it's wise of you to want to have meaningful connections with her.

Why not go all the way old-school? Send her handwritten notes -- if you have good handwriting. If not, type them out so that they are very easy to read. Write to her and include photos that show her what is happening in your life. In this way, she gets to enjoy your world from a distance, and she knows without question that you are thinking of her. Write to her on a regular basis -- at least once a month -- even if she doesn't write to you. Chances are, though, that if you make the effort, she will return it with joy. Start right away!

DEAR HARRIETTE: As I was scrolling down my Facebook, I saw a video that was suggested to me because my friends liked it. It was a video of teenagers jumping off a local cliff. Upon looking at it, I recognized my teenage son!

I cannot believe my son has been cliff jumping! This is so dangerous. I totally busted him, but don't know what my next step is. He's grounded, but I want to make sure he never does this again. How do I keep him from endangering himself like this? He could have paralyzed himself! -- No Heights, Columbus, Georgia

DEAR NO HEIGHTS: You can talk to your son about his choices and remind him to think about the consequences of his actions. Try to have this conversation with him when you are calmer. But you must not scold him at the time, or it won't work. Practice talking to him.

The reality is that you cannot control your son's every step; you can only remind him of the importance of making smart choices and the penalties and perils that come when he does not. Remind him of how precious he is to you, and how much you want him to have a long, healthy and safe life. Point out that jumping off cliffs is not a wise choice for anyone. You may want to look up accidents and fatalities that have occurred from such jumps so that he can see for himself.

This is not an easy task, but you can make the effort. Continuing to let him know how much you love him is key to getting him to consider heeding your advice.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)