DEAR HARRIETTE: My stepsister and I are the same age. Our parents got married when we were 20, so it's not like we grew up together. We get along very well, though. My stepsister is struggling to find a job, whereas I'm filling my schedule with two part-time jobs and weekend gigs. I use the internet and connections to find my jobs.

My mother and stepfather have decided that I should be helping my "sister" find a job because I am so good at it. Honestly, I think she should find her own way, just like I did. It's not too hard to get on your feet and hustle! How do I tell my parents that I won't be spending hours of my life finding employment opportunities that I wouldn't even be taking advantage of? -- Find Your Own Hustle, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR FIND YOUR OWN HUSTLE: Rather than telling your parents what you won't do, here's a recommendation: Sit down with your stepsister and tell her what you do to find work. Don't do it for her, but explain your process. You can even tell her a couple of examples of websites or searches that you use in order to find leads. It would be generous of you to give your stepsister a bit of coaching so that she feels more comfortable trying it out for herself. This is a kind compromise. You will not be searching for jobs for her, but you will be showing her one way to start her own search.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been dating a great guy for almost two years now. Throughout those two years, we have seen each other through some dark times, including the death of my father and a stretch of unemployment for him. About eight months ago, he got a great job. Recently, his company told him it wanted him to relocate permanently. I have absolutely no intention of moving. All of my family is here, including my mother, who is getting older. I want to tell him this, but I know it will probably be the end of our relationship. Do you have any advice on how to handle this in a way that may help me avoid having to break up with him? -- Staying Put, Syracuse, New York

DEAR STAYING PUT: You definitely should talk to your boyfriend about your thoughts and your future now. Rather than automatically thinking that you have to break up, have a mature and honest conversation. Congratulate him on the opportunity that is before him. And tell him that, while you would never want to stand in his way, the offer worries you. Explain that you feel like the two of you have a future, but you don't envision yourself moving, considering your family ties. Ask him how and where he sees his future and if he has given any thought to what this possible move means for the two of you. Talk it out. It could be that you won't move now, but you two might decide that you move one day. Or he may want to make a different decision. You won't know until you present the topic for discussion.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I haven't been in a physical relationship in two years. I tried online dating, and that didn't work, so now I'm trying to get myself back out into the dating world. My friends set me up with a friend, and I like him so far. He's not in college at the moment, but I understand that everybody in life has setbacks. I want to give him time and see where this goes.

Sadly, due to me not having physical interaction with a man in two years, I don't know how to connect. Honestly, everything feels awkward. It takes me 30 minutes just to actually warm up to the fact that he's right there beside me. I'm so used to being on my own and single, I oftentimes don't bother to include him in the ways that other couples include each other in everything. I don't want him to feel like I'm uninterested, but I don't know how else to act.

How do I get comfortable around men again? How do I include someone in my day-to-day life after being on my own for so long? -- Unsure, New York City

DEAR UNSURE: It's possible that your awkwardness is in part because you have been out of the game for a while, but I'm guessing your lack of connection with this guy is due to lack of interest. Do an assessment to see. What do you like about him? Is he interesting? What do you do together? Sitting next to him for 30 minutes doing what? Figure out what interests you have in common, and choose to do that. This will help tremendously for you to see if you two click.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 27 years old. After dating my boyfriend for about a year, he said he wanted to move in together. I freaked out and broke up with him. Everything was just moving too quickly. Since when does a man want to move in with his girlfriend after only a year of dating? That's too soon ... right? -- Too Young, Detroit

DEAR TOO YOUNG: When to live together is a very personal question. Some people remain old school and think you make that move only after marriage. Some agree to move in after they have been engaged. Others believe that you need to agree that you are in a committed relationship that you want to take to the next level. Still others are more relaxed and say they want to see how it goes living together to determine if the relationship might be a good fit long term.

You have to decide where your comfort lies. Breaking up because he wanted to be more committed was a dramatic reaction. You might want to double back, even if you don't get back together, to apologize for reacting so extremely. Tell him that you were afraid, and talk about what commitment looks like to you. He deserves some kind of an explanation. I'm sure he was shocked by your reaction.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: The human race is scaring me more and more as the days pass. We are so materialistic that real issues and problems are being neglected. We care too much about status, materialistic things, wealth, etc. What happened to love, determination, peace and standing up for something important? It baffles me that we can talk to each other about Benzes but we can't talk about the suspicious death of Kendrick Johnson. Talking about Kendrick Johnson is forbidden because that's an issue too deep for everyday conversation.

My friends constantly talk about the latest trends, celebrities and reality shows. I want them to acknowledge the fact that there's more to life than Louboutins. How do we bring what really matters into everyday conversation? How do we help those around us to acknowledge what's truly important? -- What Really Matters, Dallas

DEAR WHAT REALLY MATTERS: Thank you for being conscientious. You are right that many people no longer exercise that part of their brains. The collective moral compass of many people is not fixed on the challenges that face us. Often, the salve is materialism.

To change the conversation, start by educating people. Chances are, few know who Kendrick Johnson was -- a Georgia high school basketball player who was found dead in 2013, rolled up in a wrestling mat at his gym -- or that many other people have died or been harmed under questionable circumstances.

If you are keen on discussing and addressing human rights issues or political matters -- or some other topic -- I recommend that you broaden your friend group. Find organizations or chat groups that care about the topics that interest you. Find a natural sounding board where you can be fully engaged. When you are with your other friends, you will have had more practice in talking about these topics. Introduce them strategically, without judgment. Choose current events that should be easily recognizable because they are in the news.

DEAR HARRIETTE: For my grandma's birthday, I thought it'd be nice to give her a copy of the cookbook we love to use together. I tried to make the present cute by wrapping it in newspaper, like the Pinterest community loves doing. The result was easy and practical, and I even put a bow on the present. When I gave it to my grandma in front of the whole family, she said, "Well someone didn't want to get me wrapping paper."

I was mortified, and no one said anything. I wanted to make her gift special for her 90th birthday, but she just hurt my feelings. Is wrapping gifts in newspaper considered tacky? I thought it was hip! -- Paper Cut, Cincinnati

DEAR PAPER CUT: Where you missed was in not thinking about what would appeal to your grandmother. She probably doesn't know what Pinterest is. A 90-year-old would likely appreciate traditional wrapping with a flurry of bows. Newspaper wrapping, from an elder's perspective, could have seemed like "poor man's wrapping."

Lick your wounds and go see your grandmother. Apologize for not wrapping her gift in a traditional way. Tell her that the newspaper wrapping is considered hip by some these days. Make the main point, though, that you didn't think long enough about what kind of presentation she would most appreciate. From there, invite her to get back into the kitchen with you. Use that cookbook together!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)