DEAR HARRIETTE: I just found out that one of my best friends is dating a married woman. I am really surprised, because he used to brag about how he would never do such a thing. That was a deal breaker for him. I get that people change over time, but what a way to change. I met the woman he is dating, and she was very nice -- until I learned that she is married with a family. I don't have anything to say to her. I don't know her, but I really want to say something to my friend. There are so many single women out there, why does he have to choose someone who already has a husband? Should I say something? -- Disappointed, Rochester, New York
DEAR DISAPPOINTED: What do you hope to accomplish by pointing out the obvious to your friend? Do you think you will be able to inspire a moment of awareness that will get him to walk away from her? Do you think that reminding him of what he told you years ago will wake him up? Unless you truly believe that you can get him to walk away, you will be wasting your breath. You can decide that you do not want to hang out with them. You can draw the line for what you will or will not do, but you cannot control your friend.