DEAR HARRIETTE: After a few months on the hunt for a job, I got a phone interview. I've dealt with my fair share of rejection in the past few months, so I really want to do well. I've been thinking about a million scenarios in my head. I know how to answer the typical interview questions and questions about myself, but I have never had a phone interview, and I am unsure about the etiquette required. Any tips on how to truly shine for this interview? I really want this job. -- Nervous on the Cord, Boston

DEAR NERVOUS ON THE CORD: Treat this interview the way you would an in-person meeting. Prepare in the exact same way. Dress the part. Believe it or not, how you present yourself -- even if the other person does not see you -- makes a difference. Review your notes so that you are clear about what the company does and how your skills and temperament fit it. Because you won't be seen, place key information about the company on a desk or table so you can refer to if needed. Keep your energy up. Listen carefully. Provide full answers. Do not talk over the interviewer. Speak up and project your voice so that you are easily heard. Do your best to reduce or eliminate outside noise so that there are no distractions on your side. By all means, do not answer the phone if you get a call during the interview!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm constantly setting goals and working toward my dreams. Because of that, it's safe to say that I'm extremely busy. I have a million things to do at different times of the day. By the time I get some free time, I just want to sleep or pamper myself. Lately, everyone around me is getting married or having babies. I love all of my friends, and I'm happy for them. I just can't help but wonder when my time is going to come. When am I going to get the faithful man, ring and kids? Where is my happily ever after?

As I look at my schedule, I realize that I am using the time it would take to find someone to follow my dreams. Sadly, that's not satisfying enough. I want more than the fruits of my labor. I want a family.

Because I am constantly busy, I don't get out much. I work and work until I'm done for the day. How do I find a man who's understanding of that? When you're chasing your dreams, there is no punching out. You're always networking, always talking and bringing new ideas to what you're trying to accomplish. I need a man who will understand that I'm busy. I stayed away from dating due to the fear that my man would cheat because of my constant absence. How do I balance chasing my dreams and having a relationship? At the end of the day, my dreams come first. -- Dreaming Nonstop, Atlanta

DEAR DREAMING NONSTOP: Until your dreams actively include a partner, it is unlikely that you will find one. Yes, you can have a prosperous career and a family. Many women do. But if you can't see it, you cannot expect a man to see it for you. You have to make space for the range of priorities that are important to you. Then it will be easier to notice the man who may be right for you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend keeps pestering me to go to therapy. She claims that a lot of problems in our relationship stem from my past. I think she is just trying to defer our issues and blame them on me. I genuinely don't think I need therapy and am a happy person. Like all people, I have my down days, but I always strive to do things that make me happy.

My family history is more chaotic than hers, so I want to clearly explain to her that how I grew up -- something I cannot go back in time to change -- influences our relationship only because of her. For example, she isn't comfortable staying overnight places because she wants to go home, and she says I'm OK with sleeping wherever because my parents are divorced and I shuttled back and forth between homes.

I don't think I need therapy because of my upbringing. How can I get her to see this? -- It's Not Me, It's You, Philadelphia

DEAR IT'S NOT ME, IT'S YOU: If you really care for your girlfriend and want to strengthen your bond, suggest that the two of you go to therapy together. You don't think you need it. She probably doesn't think she needs it. But for your relationship, it could be a great way to learn how to communicate better -- especially during challenging times. It can also be a safe space for you to address idiosyncrasies in each of your behaviors that may no longer be necessary for you to hold on to. I know this may seem opposite to your desire, but it may prove incredibly helpful.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I still live at home with my parents. I am responsible for cleaning the home, grocery shopping and driving my parents to and from work. I don't have to pay rent, so the trade-off is all right with me. However, whenever I go grocery shopping, my dad wants me to buy meat. This makes me uneasy because I don't support the commercial animal industry, and I don't want to buy that stuff. I don't push my beliefs on other people, and my parents don't know that I have a problem buying pounds and pounds of meat. I'm debating if it's even worth me bringing up how hypocritical this makes me feel because of my parents' reaction. They'd probably make fun of me. Should I stand up for myself or keep shut because it's not my home? -- Veggie Burger, Salt Lake City

DEAR VEGGIE BURGERS: It's fine for you to tell your parents that you have become vegetarian. You can share with them your reasons and how you evolved to this position. It would not be appropriate, however, for you to make them feel uncomfortable about their food choices.

I know many families who have one parent or family member who eats differently than the rest. What's important in those situations is to honor everyone's palate -- to the best of your ability. Given that you are living in your parents' home, you should graciously follow their rules, including buying what they like to eat. You simply don't have to eat it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I witnessed the aftermath of a terrible car accident that left a woman dead. When my taxi slowly inched by the accident, I figured the woman was dying. She was trapped under an SUV, bleeding from her face. I went online to find out what happened to her, and sure enough, she did not make it.

I feel so horrible for her, and I can't get it out of my mind. I keep waking up seeing that poor woman bleeding under the car. There was nothing I could have done. Many police officers and emergency vehicles were there. I do not feel guilty, but I do feel upset. I am not sure what to do. My friends don't want to hear about it, but I can't seem to shake what I saw. Help! -- Shaken, Manhattan, New York

DEAR SHAKEN: I am so sorry to learn of the tragedy that you witnessed. Seeing someone die can be horrifying, especially in the way that this woman died. You may want to get counseling. You can go to your spiritual home for spiritual guidance or go to a professional grief psychologist. Getting help to work through what you witnessed is a wise way of getting yourself settled again.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was just diagnosed with the flu, even though it's not flu season and I had a flu shot this year. I am so mad. I did everything right, but I still got sick. Plus, I have to travel. The doctor warned me that I am contagious and there's a chance I could contaminate people on the plane. He then said if I wore a mask, it would be OK. I really need to travel for my work. Should I trust the doctor? -- Contagious, Dallas

DEAR CONTAGIOUS: I am not a doctor, so I cannot give you a medical guarantee, to be sure. But if your doctor told you what to do to reduce contaminating other people on the plane, he must have meant it. Your job will be to follow his directions to the letter. Wear your mask at all times (except when you are eating). Airplanes use recirculated air, which means whatever is in the air keeps moving around, including your germs. Use disinfectant wipes to keep your hands clean and also to clean the tray and area around you. Resist the temptation to be chatty with your seatmates. If you tell the people next to you that you aren't feeling well, chances are, they will attempt to stay away from you -- as much as is possible.

I would not tell anyone that you have the flu, as the airline may want to throw you off the plane. Instead, just keep your distance. Try not to cough or otherwise spread your germs. And, of course, take your medicine on time. Good luck.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)