DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend keeps pestering me to go to therapy. She claims that a lot of problems in our relationship stem from my past. I think she is just trying to defer our issues and blame them on me. I genuinely don't think I need therapy and am a happy person. Like all people, I have my down days, but I always strive to do things that make me happy.

My family history is more chaotic than hers, so I want to clearly explain to her that how I grew up -- something I cannot go back in time to change -- influences our relationship only because of her. For example, she isn't comfortable staying overnight places because she wants to go home, and she says I'm OK with sleeping wherever because my parents are divorced and I shuttled back and forth between homes.

I don't think I need therapy because of my upbringing. How can I get her to see this? -- It's Not Me, It's You, Philadelphia

DEAR IT'S NOT ME, IT'S YOU: If you really care for your girlfriend and want to strengthen your bond, suggest that the two of you go to therapy together. You don't think you need it. She probably doesn't think she needs it. But for your relationship, it could be a great way to learn how to communicate better -- especially during challenging times. It can also be a safe space for you to address idiosyncrasies in each of your behaviors that may no longer be necessary for you to hold on to. I know this may seem opposite to your desire, but it may prove incredibly helpful.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I still live at home with my parents. I am responsible for cleaning the home, grocery shopping and driving my parents to and from work. I don't have to pay rent, so the trade-off is all right with me. However, whenever I go grocery shopping, my dad wants me to buy meat. This makes me uneasy because I don't support the commercial animal industry, and I don't want to buy that stuff. I don't push my beliefs on other people, and my parents don't know that I have a problem buying pounds and pounds of meat. I'm debating if it's even worth me bringing up how hypocritical this makes me feel because of my parents' reaction. They'd probably make fun of me. Should I stand up for myself or keep shut because it's not my home? -- Veggie Burger, Salt Lake City

DEAR VEGGIE BURGERS: It's fine for you to tell your parents that you have become vegetarian. You can share with them your reasons and how you evolved to this position. It would not be appropriate, however, for you to make them feel uncomfortable about their food choices.

I know many families who have one parent or family member who eats differently than the rest. What's important in those situations is to honor everyone's palate -- to the best of your ability. Given that you are living in your parents' home, you should graciously follow their rules, including buying what they like to eat. You simply don't have to eat it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I witnessed the aftermath of a terrible car accident that left a woman dead. When my taxi slowly inched by the accident, I figured the woman was dying. She was trapped under an SUV, bleeding from her face. I went online to find out what happened to her, and sure enough, she did not make it.

I feel so horrible for her, and I can't get it out of my mind. I keep waking up seeing that poor woman bleeding under the car. There was nothing I could have done. Many police officers and emergency vehicles were there. I do not feel guilty, but I do feel upset. I am not sure what to do. My friends don't want to hear about it, but I can't seem to shake what I saw. Help! -- Shaken, Manhattan, New York

DEAR SHAKEN: I am so sorry to learn of the tragedy that you witnessed. Seeing someone die can be horrifying, especially in the way that this woman died. You may want to get counseling. You can go to your spiritual home for spiritual guidance or go to a professional grief psychologist. Getting help to work through what you witnessed is a wise way of getting yourself settled again.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was just diagnosed with the flu, even though it's not flu season and I had a flu shot this year. I am so mad. I did everything right, but I still got sick. Plus, I have to travel. The doctor warned me that I am contagious and there's a chance I could contaminate people on the plane. He then said if I wore a mask, it would be OK. I really need to travel for my work. Should I trust the doctor? -- Contagious, Dallas

DEAR CONTAGIOUS: I am not a doctor, so I cannot give you a medical guarantee, to be sure. But if your doctor told you what to do to reduce contaminating other people on the plane, he must have meant it. Your job will be to follow his directions to the letter. Wear your mask at all times (except when you are eating). Airplanes use recirculated air, which means whatever is in the air keeps moving around, including your germs. Use disinfectant wipes to keep your hands clean and also to clean the tray and area around you. Resist the temptation to be chatty with your seatmates. If you tell the people next to you that you aren't feeling well, chances are, they will attempt to stay away from you -- as much as is possible.

I would not tell anyone that you have the flu, as the airline may want to throw you off the plane. Instead, just keep your distance. Try not to cough or otherwise spread your germs. And, of course, take your medicine on time. Good luck.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: For years, people have mocked my desire for a music career. I am always told the same thing in different ways -- people essentially saying that music is a hobby and not a real job. I tell them that it is my passion: I want to have a job that I love and I will do anything to get there. Obviously, my fellow suburban high school students are not going to understand this mindset, but there are many adults who doubt me as well. This causes me to not want to tell anyone the truth when they ask about my goals after high school. Is there a specific way to respond to these criticisms? -- Feeling Doubted, Westchester, New York

DEAR FEELING DOUBTED: It can be hard for people who are following a more traditional work trajectory to understand, let alone support, someone who wants to build a musical career. I had a client years ago who wanted to be a singer; her mother was a little skittish about her choice, so she applied for college and pursued record labels at the same time. She was fortunate to be accepted by both. She chose music, knowing that if it didn't work out, she would be able to go to college. That helped her mother to support her with full confidence.

You have to figure out the best way to get your family and key friends to be on your side. But most of all, you need to focus on your dreams. Ask your parents to allow you opportunities to study music and get the training and connections you need. When others question you, tell them you are clear about your goals, and you are going for them. Then, ask them questions. People like to talk about themselves, so if you can change the subject, you should be safe from their criticism.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my pet peeves is when people think they know me better than I know myself. I have friends who act this way, and it can be very irritating -- especially because it is usually people who I am not close with. I do have friends who know personal information about me because I have shared it with them, but when other people act like they are in that same role, it bothers me. Is this a common thing, or have I just been unlucky to find friends who do this? When this happens, it pushes me further away, and I become even more unwilling to share things. Is this something I need to learn to deal with, or are my friends in the wrong? -- Pet Peeve, Madison, Wisconsin

DEAR PET PEEVE: I believe that true friends earn that role in your life by their behavior. Building trust over time is what inspires a close bond. While others may want to be part of your "in" crowd, that does not mean that you have to allow them in. Ignore those who attempt to be closer to you than you have allowed. Don't let them get under your skin. Instead, keep your friend group close, and resist being taunted by those who are jockeying for position.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)