DEAR HARRIETTE: I witnessed the aftermath of a terrible car accident that left a woman dead. When my taxi slowly inched by the accident, I figured the woman was dying. She was trapped under an SUV, bleeding from her face. I went online to find out what happened to her, and sure enough, she did not make it.

I feel so horrible for her, and I can't get it out of my mind. I keep waking up seeing that poor woman bleeding under the car. There was nothing I could have done. Many police officers and emergency vehicles were there. I do not feel guilty, but I do feel upset. I am not sure what to do. My friends don't want to hear about it, but I can't seem to shake what I saw. Help! -- Shaken, Manhattan, New York

DEAR SHAKEN: I am so sorry to learn of the tragedy that you witnessed. Seeing someone die can be horrifying, especially in the way that this woman died. You may want to get counseling. You can go to your spiritual home for spiritual guidance or go to a professional grief psychologist. Getting help to work through what you witnessed is a wise way of getting yourself settled again.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was just diagnosed with the flu, even though it's not flu season and I had a flu shot this year. I am so mad. I did everything right, but I still got sick. Plus, I have to travel. The doctor warned me that I am contagious and there's a chance I could contaminate people on the plane. He then said if I wore a mask, it would be OK. I really need to travel for my work. Should I trust the doctor? -- Contagious, Dallas

DEAR CONTAGIOUS: I am not a doctor, so I cannot give you a medical guarantee, to be sure. But if your doctor told you what to do to reduce contaminating other people on the plane, he must have meant it. Your job will be to follow his directions to the letter. Wear your mask at all times (except when you are eating). Airplanes use recirculated air, which means whatever is in the air keeps moving around, including your germs. Use disinfectant wipes to keep your hands clean and also to clean the tray and area around you. Resist the temptation to be chatty with your seatmates. If you tell the people next to you that you aren't feeling well, chances are, they will attempt to stay away from you -- as much as is possible.

I would not tell anyone that you have the flu, as the airline may want to throw you off the plane. Instead, just keep your distance. Try not to cough or otherwise spread your germs. And, of course, take your medicine on time. Good luck.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: For years, people have mocked my desire for a music career. I am always told the same thing in different ways -- people essentially saying that music is a hobby and not a real job. I tell them that it is my passion: I want to have a job that I love and I will do anything to get there. Obviously, my fellow suburban high school students are not going to understand this mindset, but there are many adults who doubt me as well. This causes me to not want to tell anyone the truth when they ask about my goals after high school. Is there a specific way to respond to these criticisms? -- Feeling Doubted, Westchester, New York

DEAR FEELING DOUBTED: It can be hard for people who are following a more traditional work trajectory to understand, let alone support, someone who wants to build a musical career. I had a client years ago who wanted to be a singer; her mother was a little skittish about her choice, so she applied for college and pursued record labels at the same time. She was fortunate to be accepted by both. She chose music, knowing that if it didn't work out, she would be able to go to college. That helped her mother to support her with full confidence.

You have to figure out the best way to get your family and key friends to be on your side. But most of all, you need to focus on your dreams. Ask your parents to allow you opportunities to study music and get the training and connections you need. When others question you, tell them you are clear about your goals, and you are going for them. Then, ask them questions. People like to talk about themselves, so if you can change the subject, you should be safe from their criticism.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my pet peeves is when people think they know me better than I know myself. I have friends who act this way, and it can be very irritating -- especially because it is usually people who I am not close with. I do have friends who know personal information about me because I have shared it with them, but when other people act like they are in that same role, it bothers me. Is this a common thing, or have I just been unlucky to find friends who do this? When this happens, it pushes me further away, and I become even more unwilling to share things. Is this something I need to learn to deal with, or are my friends in the wrong? -- Pet Peeve, Madison, Wisconsin

DEAR PET PEEVE: I believe that true friends earn that role in your life by their behavior. Building trust over time is what inspires a close bond. While others may want to be part of your "in" crowd, that does not mean that you have to allow them in. Ignore those who attempt to be closer to you than you have allowed. Don't let them get under your skin. Instead, keep your friend group close, and resist being taunted by those who are jockeying for position.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like sometimes my weight gets in the way of my dreams. I know that sounds really insecure, but I honestly believe that's why I haven't progressed much. I want to do so much, but I feel like people see my weight before they see my talent. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being told, "You're (blank) for a big girl." Just because I may weigh more, that doesn't mean I can't do anything like anyone else. Everyone always sees my weight first.

There are tons of things that I do well, but I don't even get recognized for that. It's always about my weight. My mom constantly makes comments about it. How do I get people to see me as more than just the "big girl"? My weight doesn't define me personally, but somehow that's my identifier when it comes to others. I want to be seen for my good qualities. My weight is just an addition to everything else about me. -- More Than I Look, Allentown, Pennsylvania

DEAR MORE THAN I LOOK: Sadly, we live in a world that does judge people for how they look, even though it is illegal in the workplace and in school. You can start with your mother. Drum up the courage to talk to her. Tell her how uncomfortable it makes you feel that she constantly comments about your weight. Tell her that you need her to support you for who you are, not for how much you weigh. Like it or not, you may have to work a little harder because you look different than the average. While unfair, that's life for many people.

I will add that if you believe that your weight could be impacting your health, you may also want to reconsider what you eat and how you exercise. This is for your own life and health. Working to be healthy while still wanting to be respected as you are, need not be mutually exclusive.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Is it bad that I'm not an affectionate person? My family and friends always say it's rude of me not to hug them all the time, but I just don't enjoy showing affection. It's nothing personal against them; it's just who I am. I do tell them how grateful I am to have them; I think that should be enough without having to be physically affectionate. My family gets concerned that it means I don't love them, but I don't know how to tell them that is not true. Are there other ways to show love other than physically? -- Feeling Unaffectionate, Detroit

DEAR FEELING UNAFFECTIONATE: Not everybody is a hugger, and yes, it can be awkward. You must educate your family. If you really don't want to touch people, tell them. Explain that you love them, but you do not like to touch. Ask them to honor your space and reassure them that it isn't personal. Yes, it is awkward now, but over time they will see that you are consistent. If you are able to give a hug every now and then, it will be greatly appreciated by them. You decide what balance of affection will make you comfortable as well as your family and friends.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)