DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like sometimes my weight gets in the way of my dreams. I know that sounds really insecure, but I honestly believe that's why I haven't progressed much. I want to do so much, but I feel like people see my weight before they see my talent. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being told, "You're (blank) for a big girl." Just because I may weigh more, that doesn't mean I can't do anything like anyone else. Everyone always sees my weight first.

There are tons of things that I do well, but I don't even get recognized for that. It's always about my weight. My mom constantly makes comments about it. How do I get people to see me as more than just the "big girl"? My weight doesn't define me personally, but somehow that's my identifier when it comes to others. I want to be seen for my good qualities. My weight is just an addition to everything else about me. -- More Than I Look, Allentown, Pennsylvania

DEAR MORE THAN I LOOK: Sadly, we live in a world that does judge people for how they look, even though it is illegal in the workplace and in school. You can start with your mother. Drum up the courage to talk to her. Tell her how uncomfortable it makes you feel that she constantly comments about your weight. Tell her that you need her to support you for who you are, not for how much you weigh. Like it or not, you may have to work a little harder because you look different than the average. While unfair, that's life for many people.

I will add that if you believe that your weight could be impacting your health, you may also want to reconsider what you eat and how you exercise. This is for your own life and health. Working to be healthy while still wanting to be respected as you are, need not be mutually exclusive.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Is it bad that I'm not an affectionate person? My family and friends always say it's rude of me not to hug them all the time, but I just don't enjoy showing affection. It's nothing personal against them; it's just who I am. I do tell them how grateful I am to have them; I think that should be enough without having to be physically affectionate. My family gets concerned that it means I don't love them, but I don't know how to tell them that is not true. Are there other ways to show love other than physically? -- Feeling Unaffectionate, Detroit

DEAR FEELING UNAFFECTIONATE: Not everybody is a hugger, and yes, it can be awkward. You must educate your family. If you really don't want to touch people, tell them. Explain that you love them, but you do not like to touch. Ask them to honor your space and reassure them that it isn't personal. Yes, it is awkward now, but over time they will see that you are consistent. If you are able to give a hug every now and then, it will be greatly appreciated by them. You decide what balance of affection will make you comfortable as well as your family and friends.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Two of my friends came up to me with a weird proposition -- they want me to baby-sit them while they are on drugs. I don't do drugs, which is probably why they asked me, and I just have no idea where to go from here. They told me it is normal to have a baby sitter when taking hallucinogenic drugs so that nothing bad happens to those under the influence.

I'm the only person they asked, and I feel like this is too much of a responsibility. What if someone gets hurt? I feel like I would end up being held accountable because I was not under the influence. Even if we were found by law enforcement, I feel like being associated with drugs would make me a suspect. Should I find my friends a new baby sitter, or should I just bite the bullet and help them out? They told me I'd be driving them around to get food and making sure they didn't run away. -- Too Trippy, Philadelphia

DEAR TOO TRIPPY: This can be an easy no. Tell them you do not know the first thing about drugs and do not want to get involved. You would not know how to protect them, and frankly, you do not want to find out. Tell them that you while you do not judge them, you also have no interest in being a part of drug life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a house with my family of four siblings and two parents. It's hard trying to do your own thing when your family isn't on board. After noticing a change in my weight and health, I decided that I wanted to change my lifestyle. We eat so much at home, almost every night is a new meal. The meals we eat aren't as healthy as they could be. Trying to eat a salad while everyone else has fried chicken, lobster mac and cheese and thick, buttery dinner rolls is extremely hard.

Ever since I started eating healthier, I've noticed a change in my attitude, my thinking and my body. I don't feel as tired or as depressed about everything. The change in something as simple as food resulted in such positive results. I love that I'm more upbeat and ready to do things.

How do I get my family to see that eating their way isn't healthy for the heart or the mind? I completely understand the love and appreciation for good food. I want them to be as upbeat and happy as I am. Their food choices aren't allowing that to happen. I want them to change their unhealthy habits, but I don't know where to start. -- Unhealthy and Confused, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR UNHEALTHY AND CONFUSED: Instead of trying to proselytize them, which is likely to fail, lead by example. Continue to eat in your new style and, when appropriate, share how much energy you have. On occasion, offer to cook for them. Be sure to make bridgeable dishes so that they will consider your new style of eating. Without judgment, continue to be the person you want to be and illustrate how you have chosen to live. Over time, you may be able to inspire a few to eat more conscientiously.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I love my family dearly. Lately, though, I'm hardly able to spend time with them. I started a new job about 11 months ago, and so far it's going well! I feel like I'm really getting my foot in the door when it comes to my career field. I love my job because I get to do what I'm really passionate about. However, it also requires me to work long hours away from home.

It saddens me that my family feels like I'm not there to spend as much time with them. I can see that it hurts them when I have to cancel all the time. How do I balance a demanding job and family time? I don't want to be isolated from my family, but I have other things to do that take up my time. How do I balance the two?

I want my family to know I'm still there for them. I also want my employers to know that I'm dedicated to the company. Being a passionate person, I give 100 percent to everything that I do. It's not easy, but I like that it challenges me to be motivated, regardless of anything else that goes on. -- In Need of Balance, Phoenix

DEAR IN NEED OF BALANCE: Start keeping a calendar or schedule where you write down every responsibility and appointment that you have. This includes personal care like eating regularly and exercising, completing the range of work tasks that are on your plate, and connecting with family. Itemize your list in manageable parts so that you can be passionate about everything and, over time, find balance by making time for everything. Trust that it takes time to figure it out. In the meantime, ask your family to have patience because building a career takes time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Dating in 2016 is hard. Everyone is caught up with being perfect. You have celebrities who run to plastic surgeons every chance they get. It's not enough to just be who you are, as you are. When you don't measure up to society's standards, then what?

I don't have flawless skin because I gave birth to a son a year ago. I have no apology for the stretch marks that deed gave me. Nor would I ever apologize for them. Guys want this woman who has it all together when in reality, they don't even have that themselves. How could a person want their partner to have certain traits when they don't even have those very traits? It's hypocritical. How do I find a man who can understand this?

I'm a good mom, and I deserve to be accepted as I am. I deserve for my son to be accepted as he is. How do I find a man who's willing to do that? I want a man who can really understand this, but all I seem to attract are those who don't. All around me, I see men who don't and won't. Is a guy like this really just a dream? Is finding a man like this as impossible as the image society tries to push down our throats? -- Wanting and Wondering, Little Rock, Arkansas

DEAR WANTING AND WONDERING: Slow down. Make a list of the traits that you appreciate most in a partner, and don't compromise anymore. You have a child to teach. Wait until you meet someone who cares about you for who you are and who appreciates your son. Look past stereotypes and celebrity. A real man is out there for you.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)