DEAR HARRIETTE: I have recently cut ties with many of my friends because I realized that our relationship was one-sided. Unfortunately, this has left me with only two or three friends. I decided that it wasn't good for me to be around negative people and have relationships that took more from me than I gained, but is it too high of an expectation for me to be friends with someone who cares the same amount for me as I do for them? I don't tend to get lonely, and I'd much rather have a few good friends than many fake ones, but I'm scared that this new attitude will restrict me in creating new friendships. -- Feeling Demanding, New Orleans

DEAR FEELING DEMANDING: My mother used to tell us that you are lucky if you have two or three friends. I have learned over time that there are plenty of people I like and who I consider friendly. But the people who are part of my inner circle get to be there based on experience, mutual love and respect. Yes, those people should be the ones who care about you in the ways that you appreciate and need. Anybody who does not treat you with respect does not deserve to get too close to your heart.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend got asked to prom by a boy in our grade whom she likes as a friend and wouldn't mind going to prom with. She was hoping another guy would ask her, so she told him she wasn't sure yet. Now, the guy she was hoping for did ask her, and she is conflicted whether she should say yes. She doesn't want to be hurtful to the first guy because he is really nice, but if he sees her with someone else at prom, it would be awkward because she told him no. -- Indecisive, Cincinnati

DEAR INDECISIVE: Had your friend agreed to go to the prom with the first boy, I would say she should honor the commitment. She should have told him a clear "No, thank you," when he first asked. Because she didn't, the situation is now awkward. She has the right to go to the prom with the boy she wants to go with. What she should do out of respect to the other boy is to double back to him. She should thank him again for the invitation but let him know that she is going with someone else. She should apologize for not telling him from the beginning. If she is sincere with him about being sorry that she may have hurt his feelings, she will at least come across as authentic. It won't change that her not being direct from the start led to this uncomfortable situation right now. But it may allow for him to save face and for them to maintain a respectful relationship.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister, "Eve," is a talented stylist in Los Angeles. I am so proud of her for her success in being able to break into the industry. However, I think her paycheck has gone to her head. Recently, she has been sharing her opinion on what practically every member of the family wears. We do not all live in cities and don't see the need to get dolled up to send Eve a picture of what we're up to.

Eve has talent as a stylist and says that she shares her opinion about our clothes because her opinion is valued in the industry. I understand Eve is good at her job, but I don't care that she doesn't like my church dresses! I responded to one of her "critiques" by telling her that I don't care about her opinion, and she told me that I should be grateful I got it for free.

How do I get Eve to hush up about her fashion knowledge? Her opinion isn't always needed -- or wanted. -- Plain Jane vs. Fashionable Eve, Milwaukee

DEAR PLAIN JANE VS. FASHIONABLE EVE: Tell Eve how happy you are for her and her success, but suggest that she needs to stop bullying the family with her industry insights. Remind her that you lead very different lives than she does and that your needs do not match hers. Tell her to quit critiquing the family's wardrobe. Do your part by not sending her photos any more. If she asks why, tell her you are tired of her fashion commentary.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother has the most annoying habit of surprise-forcing me to talk on the phone with relatives. I say "surprise" because I don't know to whom she is speaking, and then she'll turn around and say, "Oh, John is here! I'll put him on the phone!" This leads to me having to ask who I'm talking to. It's incredibly awkward. To add to this, I also don't speak my family's native language well, and I find myself at a loss for words -- literally -- when thinking of open-ended questions to ask them. Are there any polite ways to ask to whom you are speaking? Additionally, what are some basic open-ended questions that I can ask so I don't have to embarrass myself in a language I can barely speak? -- Broken Telephone, Atlanta

DEAR BROKEN TELEPHONE: Start by having a chat with your mother when she's not on the phone. Tell her that you do not appreciate her shoving the phone at you without warning or information. Remind her that you do not speak the language well, and ask that she not put you on the spot like that. Ask her to tell you who is on the phone before you start speaking. Ask her for topics to discuss with these relatives. Your mother is the best person to give you telephone pointers, as she knows them and the language. In general, you don't have to say much. Ask how the person is doing and how the family is, and then listen.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family's financial situation has changed dramatically ever since I went away to college. My first year, the finances were great. My second year, they were fine. My third year in school is when my dad lost his job, and paying for school was a struggle. Now my parents opened up to me that they don't have the money to send me back to my university for my senior year. There's no way I can work a minimum wage job over the summer and raise enough money to pay for my education. I go to a private university and want to get my degree from a school I've attended since the beginning.

A distant friend is an escort to pay for school, and I'm considering it. I don't want huge loans out in my name -- it will take forever to pay them off. If she can make the money to pay for school for all four years, I think I can do it for one. I'm not quite sure what it entails, but I think this is the best option for me. How should I tell my parents that I have my tuition figured out while shielding them from what I will be doing? -- Walk in My Shoes, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR WALK IN MY SHOES: I strongly recommend against choosing to be an escort to pay for school. It is highly likely that you will be required to offer sexual favors for money -- essentially be a prostitute -- even as a high-end escort. Not only is that illegal, it is also dangerous on many levels.

Instead, I suggest that you contact your school and let them know your situation. If you have good grades, you may qualify for a scholarship. You may qualify for government funding as well. Do your research so that you figure out how you can legally pay for this last year of school. Even if you end up getting a loan for one year, that would be better than selling your body for tuition.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends is "straightedge." He battled with drug and alcohol addictions when he was very young, and now he does not drink or do any drugs. I commend him and his strength, but I am not straightedge whatsoever. Whenever I am drinking or doing drugs, I'm not quite sure how to conduct myself. No one ever offers "James" drugs or beers, but I feel like James might be judging me or the other guys who like to have a good time now and again.

I don't think I'm being paranoid, because other people have mentioned that they feel uncomfortable letting loose around James since he is always sober. Is there any way to get an honest response from James to see if he disapproves of our habits? I've asked before, and he just laughed and said this is what he's been around his whole life. -- Not Like the Rest, Syracuse, New York

DEAR NOT LIKE THE REST: Instead of focusing on how James deals with your drug and alcohol use, take a hard look at yourself. Your discomfort may be a sign that it's time for you to slow down, if not curb your indulgences completely. Of course, it is kind to be sensitive to James, but your life is what you should observe carefully now. Check yourself and make sure you are OK.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)