DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend just came home from an anxiety treatment facility after 15 weeks, and she refused to see me for about two days. I was really hurt by this. I was the reason she went and got help, and I was her lifeline throughout the entire experience, speaking on the phone with her for hours every night. The fact that she didn't want to see me when she got back was extremely hurtful. She did see her other friends, who did not even call her to check on her in the past 15 weeks.

I feel so unappreciated because of her putting me so low on her priority list, but I understand coming home and transitioning back to normal is very stressful. She did see me after two days, so should I just let it go? -- Feeling Unappreciated, Detroit

DEAR FEELING UNAPPRECIATED: Yes, you should let it go. Your friend probably felt self-conscious and even embarrassed when she got home. You were her lifeline, which also made you the one person who knows her secrets and vulnerabilities. Part of her likely wanted to get back to normal, which meant not thinking about what put her in the facility in the first place. Calling friends who were completely unconnected to her during that period allowed her to distance herself from her troubles.

The good news is that your friend didn't take too long to reconnect with you. Forgive her for the frailty that led her to seem ungrateful. Continue to be the good friend you have been.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was a full-time nanny during my summers in college. I nannied for the same family for three of those years. The boys were certainly a handful, but I worked hard and made my spending money for the year. Now, the same family is trying to get me to work for them full time out of college. They pay well, but I am trying to get a job that will set me up for my future. I don't want to be a live-in nanny at all.

I am so thankful for the summers this family has allowed me to have, but the mother will not take no for an answer. When I first declined, she asked me why I couldn't work for them. I responded by saying I was looking for a job in my field, and she said I could look for one in a few years when the boys go to middle school. I will not be guilted into a nannying job after I spent the last four years working hard for my GPA. How do I let her down firmly but kindly? -- Not Your Baby Sitter Anymore, Westchester, New York

DEAR NOT YOUR BABY SITTER ANYMORE: Thank the family again for their generosity and support. Express gratitude for their faith in you that is pressing them to try to keep you as their nanny. If you can recommend someone to replace you, do that. Otherwise, just hold your ground. No means no, and they will figure it out when you don't come back.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Is it bad if I do not go to my senior prom? I have thought about it for a while, and I know I won't regret not going. People keep telling me I have to go, but I have no interest in going to a party and getting all dressed up -- plus, there is no one in my school who I have any interest in going with. I am just ready for high school to be over and to start my new life away from my town. I don't see the problem with that. Is it worth it to force myself to go and be miserable the whole night just so I can say I went to my prom? -- Feeling Pressured, Denver

DEAR FEELING PRESSURED: There is no rule saying that you have to go to your prom. If you truly are not interested and are not connected to a friend group that is going, skip it and do something else. Design your own activity for that evening where you celebrate your significant accomplishment of completing high school. By creating your own memory, you fill the potential hole that could be present in the future when you look back on this time in your life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My fiancee, "Jenna," is obsessed with astrology. I am not entirely convinced by the planet mumbo-jumbo, but I like that she is passionate about something so unique. We picked our wedding date and went to see an astrologer. Jenna's astrologer told us our wedding date is filled with bad omens and that we should change the date. Our invitations have already been printed! I find this to be absurd.

Jenna is now freaking out about our wedding day because she thinks it will be a bad start to our marriage. She'd prefer a date when the planets are aligned. I can barely take this seriously and want to ask her astrologer to change her mind about our wedding date so my bride-to-be can stop dreading what will hopefully be the best day of her life. Is it ethical to bribe my fiancee's astrologer? -- Whole Other Orbit, Dallas

DEAR WHOLE OTHER ORBIT: Bribery is not a good idea. Talking to the astrologer could be good, though. Respectfully request a meeting, and express your concerns -- along with your desire to support your wife. Since this is so important to your wife, you cannot take it lightly.

Suggest a loophole. You have to get a marriage license. Pick an auspicious day, in the astrologer's eyes, for the day that you two get that license. Even consider having a justice of the peace officially marry you at that time. Then your public event will actually not be your formal wedding date. That could solve it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My cousin just got out of Chapter 11 bankruptcy. The legal process and his financial situation spun out of control, so he just got back on his feet. Everyone thought this crisis would cause him to pull it together and mature quickly. Much to everyone's surprise, he's acting like a teenager, and the entire family doesn't know what to do. He is going out to nightclubs, buying bottles and getting so buzzed he can barely stand. Nobody expected this behavior from him.

I want to step in and help, but I don't even know what my first step could be. I refuse to condone his partying ways, but he seems to be in contact with party people only. How can I help my cousin? No one in my family has gone through bankruptcy except for him. He is in his 30s. -- Save That Money, Atlanta

DEAR SAVE THAT MONEY: You can ask your cousin to get together and then tell him face-to-face that you are worried about him and his seemingly reckless behavior. Tell him the whole family is concerned about his well-being. Given that he just turned a new leaf by getting out of Chapter 11, you hope that he will be able to make strategic choices that will help him to get back on his feet. While you know that it is none of your business, tell him that you worry that his partying may get in the way of his potential success.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a friend pick up a prescription for me, and I suspect she peeked into the bag the medicine came in. I assumed it was basic etiquette to not open something so private. I have some heart issues that I don't share with others, but I feel like she has to know because she always asks if I'm all right, especially when I'm out of breath. I don't need her help, and I thought this medicine would never be spoken about again after I thanked her. It was one day that I was in a bind, and she offered to help me out. Could she have offered to pick up my prescription just to snoop and find out what medications I'm taking? I'd like to educate her on how to properly handle situations like this because I completely regret trusting her to not look at what medicine I take. -- Private Pills, Annapolis, Maryland

DEAR PRIVATE PILLS: You can't go backward in time. The next time she pries about your health, tell your friend that you regret having asked her to pick up your medicine because you believe she violated confidentiality by looking at your medicine. Tell her that you are not interested in discussing your health with her. Leave it at that.

If your condition is something that could cause real problems, you should consider having someone as a confidant in case you have an emergency.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)