DEAR HARRIETTE: In the fall, I had a fling. It lasted only a few days until he went back to Philadelphia. Now he's moved back to my city to be closer to his family. During our time apart, we didn't speak, but I held out hope that this summer, we would rekindle what we had.
I was stunned when at a get-together of old friends, he brought his new girlfriend to meet everyone. It's like he doesn't even remember the fall! I thought there could've been something, and I didn't date so I could wait for him. I want to talk to his new girlfriend. I feel like if she knew our past, she would take a step back with him. I would never try to wreck his relationship; I would simply explain what happened between us and how I thought we'd be together. My friends think I'm crazy, but I think this is just crazy enough to work. Should I contact her? -- Speaking the Truth, Newark, New Jersey
DEAR SPEAKING THE TRUTH: You should not contact this woman. What you need to do is to accept the truth. Sadly, you wished that your fling were the start of a relationship, even though nothing occurred to lead you to believe that. Since you were not in contact with this man after your romantic interlude, you had no concrete reason to believe that he would suddenly step back into your life if he ever came back to town. I'm sorry, but your hopes were delusional. Do not get in between him and his girlfriend. That would be unkind to her and confusing to him. You can enjoy the memories that you had with this man, but be clear that they remain in the past. You are not part of his present.