DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a remote intern for a company based on the West Coast. I am in college on the East Coast, and I feel so lucky to have this opportunity. I have worked and interned all throughout high school and college.

As I am heading into my final semesters in college, I am realizing I feel like I have missed out on the "college experience." On a typical weekend, I'll be flown out to a conference or exhausted from my work and school week. It seems like all my fellow students will be out in a fraternity house somewhere, drinking beer and being carefree.

I used to feel like I was paving a pathway to success for myself by starting to work on my career so early, but now I just feel like I became an adult too quickly. I still have some time at school and am not sure how to use it. Should I quit all of my professional responsibilities and let loose for a year? I used to feel confident in my life's path, but I realize I threw fun and youth to the side. -- Workhorse, Syracuse, New York

DEAR WORKHORSE: Sounds like you are experiencing burnout. Maybe what you need is a breather. That may look like a vacation during spring break where you go and have fun with your friends or take off from your various job responsibilities.

This does not mean that you should quit your jobs and throw caution to the wind. The working world is highly competitive, and you are doing a smart thing to get a leg up in anticipation of graduation.

Hanging out, drinking beer and being carefree is overrated. Many young people get caught up in bad situations from those conditions. You are doing all right -- even better, actually!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always been taught to bring offerings to a home when I am invited for a dinner or housewarming party. I feel like I have done my part in being polite by bringing flowers or household knickknacks. How long do these niceties have to last? I have been bringing flowers or dessert to the house of one of my friends for over a year! -- Expiration on Niceties, Denver

DEAR EXPIRATION ON NICETIES: I invite you to change your thinking. It's not so much a requirement that you always bring a gift, but it is thoughtful. Each time you visit, doesn't your friend offer you food, drink and a lovely environment in which to spend time together? Your offering is an expression of gratitude for your friend's generosity.

That said, you do not have to bring something every single time in the same way. You may want to step in a little closer as a friend and ask in advance if she needs anything. Find out what would be helpful for you to bring. That way, you aren't stuck trying to dream something up. And if your friend tells you not to bring anything, you can accept that and just come -- at least sometimes.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I decided to get healthy together a little over a year ago. We were both at least 30 pounds overweight, and in those 12 months we lost weight and completely changed our lifestyles. As the year was ending, my sister decided to go back to her old lifestyle because it's just "easier." We did agree to be healthy for a year, so she kept her promise, but I want her to continue doing this with me.

I saw the change in myself and have watched her gain some of the weight back in our short weeks of having different lifestyles. We don't go on walks together anymore or attend Zumba. I can't force her to do anything, but I want my sister to be healthy for as long as possible with me. What should I say to her? Telling her she gained weight would make her defensive. -- Happy & Healthy, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR HAPPY & HEALTHY: Sometimes it's worth it to make someone a bit defensive. Plan a get-together with your sister and find out how she's doing. Remind her of how much fun you had committing to healthy living last year. Ask her to resume the plan. Tell her you are concerned because you have noticed that she has gained weight. Remind her of how easily you both gained weight and how capable you both are of losing. Tell her how much you love her and want both of you to be healthy.

Know that she may not join you, but you can continue to invite her to go on walks or engage in other healthy activities with you. She may come back at some point.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live with a few roommates to save money. We each have our own room, but we use my furniture in the living room. For the past week, an assortment of guests has been sleeping on my pullout couch. I know I can't try to have exclusive claim to a couch, but I feel as though I should at least be asked if random strangers can sleep on my furniture.

I think my roommates assume we share everything in the house, but I am not as courteous. How do I stop these sleepovers from happening? I am about to put a sign on the couch that says, "Not a Free Bed"! -- Not On My Couch, Washington, D.C.

DEAR NOT ON MY COUCH: You are being unrealistic. If you didn't want your roommates to use your furniture, you shouldn't have put it in the common area. Of course, it would be thoughtful for your roommates to ask to use the sofa, but it probably didn't occur to them. If the couch becomes like a revolving door over an extended period of time, you can then bring it to your roommates' attention that they are abusing the privilege. Otherwise, you should bring it up only if the couch gets soiled or ruined in some way.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Honestly, I've been holding a grudge against a woman in my town, Cindy, for over a decade. I never forgive, and I think that there's no point in me ever needing to interact with this woman after what she has said about my family and me.

A mutual friend of ours has moved into the area and is dedicated to reconciling us. I do not consider Cindy my enemy, but I do hate her. Our mutual friend constantly tells me that Cindy is a "good person" and asks me if I would want to be judged by my actions from so long ago. I do not ever want to speak to Cindy, and my friend will not butt out of my business. Should I cut her off? I feel like someone who talks Cindy up this much could not be a friend of mine. -- Holding On, Salt Lake City

DEAR HOLDING ON: The thing about grudges is that they eat you up inside, even if the reason you are holding onto them is because somebody did you wrong. Forgiveness is so important in life because it frees you from being tormented by whatever the misgiving is that occurred.

Forgiving Cindy for speaking ill of you and your family does not mean that you forget, nor does it require that you be friends with her again. But if you are able to release the negativity that you have been holding for so many years, the two of you may walk through the world more lightly.

As far as your friend who continues to badger you, ask her to stop. Tell her that you will make the effort to forgive Cindy, but you have no intention of being friends with her again. Remind her, if necessary, that this is not her business.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife has developed a passion for new medical treatments that are supposed to cure ailments and signs of aging. I have gotten chemical peels with her, engaged in cryotherapy and gotten Botox, but I am finally drawing the line since she booked us appointments to get enemas. My wife thinks this will cure my back pains and rejuvenate her skin. I think this is just baloney. At first these treatments were a fun way to do something new together, but I don't feel comfortable anymore because I think she took it too far.

My wife and I are in our 40s and admittedly aging, but I still think she is as beautiful as the day I met her. I want to end this "treatment" obsession, but I don't want the adventurous aspect it brought to our relationship to go away. How can I redirect my wife away from these medical procedures? I don't want to have to start getting pedicures with her. -- No More, Dallas

DEAR NO MORE: You say your wife looks great, and she hasn't steered you to a dangerous place yet. While an enema may seem New Age-y, it's actually very old-school. It is a natural way to clean your colon. Trust your wife on this one. I'm sure she has found a reputable establishment to have it done.

By the way, his-and-hers pedicures can be fun, too. Why don't you suggest his-and-hers massage? Many spas have rooms where you can get the service side by side. Have fun!

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)