DEAR HARRIETTE: My estranged wife has insisted that we need couple's therapy. I find this so ridiculous, since we are on the path to getting divorced. There's nothing to fix! Our marriage is essentially over. My wife thinks we need this so we can raise our kids better. I think she's just trying to get me into a room with a therapist so they can both tell me how I failed the marriage. I would never normally agree to couple's therapy, but I worry that if I don't go, she'll have a better chance of having custody of our children. Do I go into this therapy trap? -- Barely My Wife, Pittsburgh

DEAR BARELY MY WIFE: Because you two have children, therapy is actually a great idea. You must figure out how to parent your children as a team, even though you don't live together. Let your wife know that you agree -- with the understanding that you will determine how to navigate the children between households as well as the basics on what your values are. Talk with the therapist about how to come to agreements when you experience friction.

If you feel that your wife and the therapist are ganging up on you, stop them and ask if you can agree to work on how to handle the children moving forward rather than rehashing what led to the breakup. It is OK for you to set clear goals in therapy.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Two of my friends are high school sweethearts ... sort of. They have been an on-again, off-again couple for about eight years. They began dating in high school, but in no way has their timeline been stable. I have been a listening ear to both of them as we all went through growing pains, and I managed to stay impartial, even during some of their most explosive fights.

I met a girl I really like, and we have been dating for a little under a year now. I fear that the high school "sweethearts" are creating a toxic element in our relationship because of how vicious they get when they fight -- and they bring us into it. I don't want to burn any bridges, but I need to draw up new boundaries without losing our friendship. How can I start this transition to preserve my sanity and budding relationship? -- Love Bites, Dallas

DEAR LOVE BITES: My mother used to remind my sisters and me all the time about the importance of keeping good company. Your longtime friends may not be such good company if there is constant fighting when you are with them. It may be time to choose your mental health and your relationship over their roller coaster romance.

Out of respect for them, tell them where you are. Explain that while you have attempted to stay neutral and present through their rocky relationship, it is wearing on you and your own relationship. So you are pulling back. You don't have to cut them off entirely -- unless that is your choice. You definitely do not have to include them on dates with your girlfriend.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am pretty embarrassed by my son's behavior. He has decided he wants to move to Australia because the job hunt has not been going well for him here in the United States. The problem is, he's a compulsive spender and has no money saved up. So what does he do? He starts a fundraiser online! He's also been asking my wife and me for constant contributions.

My son wants to move to Australia on his parents' dime and has no shame trying to collect money from strangers through social media. I just cannot believe how brazen he has gotten. Should my wife and I just pay for a ticket to get him to stop embarrassing the family? We're not necessarily made of money, either. -- Deadbeat Son, Racine, Wisconsin

DEAR DEADBEAT SON: Think this one all the way through. Chances are great that your son will be contacting you from Australia asking you to wire him money. Moving to another country is no guarantee of employment or of some sudden newfound sense of responsibility.

It may be time to step back and tell your son that he has to fend for himself. Don't judge him. Let go of the feelings of embarrassment. Replace them with a reality check. It is time for your son to grow up and handle his business. Stop supporting him financially. Remind him that you love him, but it's time for him to step up.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my relatives is in the hospital and has been for over a month. My entire family is close, so we tried to always have someone in the hospital to keep my aunt occupied and entertained. At first, it was pretty easy to get people to come in, but then other responsibilities have left my aunt mostly alone.

As terrible as I feel about this, my aunt has been an absolute nightmare. She will email the entire family, saying we don't care about her if no one comes to visit. It is difficult to carve hours out of each day to try to be there for her, but I wish she were more understanding. I don't know what I could say to her that wouldn't upset her even more. I know she's lonely at the hospital and would like company. However, berating the family will not necessarily get everyone excited to pay her a visit. -- Ill-Worded, Arlington, Virginia

DEAR ILL-WORDED: Your aunt is scared and sick. She longs for support and has a lot of time on her hands. You need to manage her expectations and rally the family. Get all of your family members on the phone, and ask them to create a schedule outlining when individuals can visit your aunt. Even if it's not every day, figure out when people can be there, and then let your aunt know.

Go over the schedule with your aunt and explain to her that what you have crafted is the best that everyone can do. Remind her that you all love her and want her to get well. Ask her to stop making the negative calls. Explain that this is hard for everyone, but if you all try to be kind to one another, it will be easier for her to get the attention she needs.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm seven months pregnant. I'm nervous because from here on out, I'm responsible for someone other than myself. As this pregnancy progresses, my boyfriend and I seem to do the opposite. He's always ready to pick a fight and catches an attitude over everything. I thought I was the pregnant one ...

Last night, I went through his phone. I know the saying, "Look for something hard enough, and you'll find it." Well, I did. I found texts between him and another woman. It looks as though he starts these arguments so he can leave to "cool off," so while I think he's at his friend's house, he's really at this girl's house. It hurt to know that's how he acts just so he can be with her.

I'm trying to stop stressing over it because I don't want to lose my baby. I'm so mad, hurt and saddened at the fact that instead of being with his pregnant girlfriend, he wants to be with the next girl. I'm still pretty; I haven't let pregnancy stop me -- I still cook, clean and work (from home now, but still). I don't see why he's doing this unless he's always been doing this, and I'm just now finding out. Do I leave him? I don't want to have to raise my child in two different households. But I also don't want to be walked all over or let him continue to have his cake and eat it, too. -- At a Crossroads, Tampa, Florida

DEAR AT A CROSSROADS: Confront your boyfriend about this relationship. Tell him how hurt and concerned you are. Ask him if he plans on staying with you and your growing family. Tell him you want to be a family, but you need 100 percent of him. Ask him to end this affair and refocus on you. His actions will let you know what to do.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends has not outgrown college. She constantly drinks and does drugs. I am going to a concert with her on a Wednesday night, and I have work the next day. I know she will want to smoke, drink and do drugs. This lifestyle isn't really for me anymore, but I love my friend too much to drop her. I want to see her, but I need to figure out how to stand up for myself when she calls me "old and boring" for not wanting to do drugs on a Wednesday. I have been known to be a pushover, and I want to know how to assert myself as someone who can have fun -- and stay sober on a weekday. -- Party Animal, Syracuse, New York

DEAR PARTY ANIMAL: It's time to have a grown-up talk with your friend. Tell her you love her, but that college is over and you have figured out that you can't live recklessly and perform on the job. Tell her she can call you whatever names she wants, but it is time to be responsible. Recommend that she take your lead. If she doesn't, don't go out with her anymore. Choose the life you want to live, and then live it. Then you won't be a pushover at all.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)