DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have been dating for about eight months. He is a great guy, and we get along very well. He is very generous and open, which is refreshing for me. I have had some weird relationships in the past. I feel very fortunate. One thing, however, feels a little too intimate for me. My boyfriend thinks we should share a toothbrush. He has it in his head that this is a sign that we are really close and that we have nothing to hide. I think it is unbelievably gross. I was taught that nobody should share toothbrushes for any reason. I'm not a prude, but I believe in cleanliness. How do I address this without upsetting my boyfriend? I have no intention of giving in to this idea. -- Solo Brushing, Salt Lake City

DEAR SOLO BRUSHING: Celebrate your boyfriend for the things that you love about him and your relationship, and draw the line where it doesn't make sense. Speak up for yourself and let your boyfriend know that you do not consider sharing a toothbrush to be hygienic. Tell him you appreciate his desire to be romantic and intimate, but that you draw the line at this action.

If he gets upset about this, you must continue the conversation. This is ultimately about values. You two must talk about everything from hygiene to sex to family values. Put it all out on the table so that you can learn where your points of intersection are and where you disagree. Consider this a good thing, as it is sparking a deeper conversation that you will need to have if you hope to evolve your relationship.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I sent pictures of my son to my siblings to show them how much he has grown over the summer. It was a simple, pleasant exchange. One sibling is prone to a foul mouth, and sure enough, his comments about my kid were laced with profanity. That wasn't so bad in and of itself. We know him, after all. The bad part was that another sibling's email goes to her corporate job. She told me that it was unacceptable for profanity to be coming in through her work server. I felt so bad. I have been sending photos and messages for years without ever causing a problem. I'm mad that my brother spoiled it, too. What should I do now? -- Violated, Detroit

DEAR VIOLATED: Ask your sister to create a personal email address if she doesn't have one already. From now on, send all of your communications to her via that address so that nothing you are party to is inappropriate at her workplace. You might also tell your brother that his foul mouth had negative implications for your sister.

Mostly, it's best for everyone to keep personal communications personal and professional communication all business. Furthermore, it is wise only to post content on any platform that you believe would be appropriate for anyone to see.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was invited on a first date with a really nice guy. We met at a coffee shop near my job and have talked when we've seen each other there several times. I am excited about going out with him. I have a bit of a challenge, though. We are going out to dinner -- classic date, I know. But I have a ton of food allergies. I really don't want to get into my food stuff on a first date, but I'm nervous that he may choose a restaurant that will be hard for me. Should I recommend a safe restaurant or ask him where we are going in advance? Or do I just spill the beans and tell him all about my issues? -- Allergy Date, Chicago

DEAR ALLERGY DATE: If possible, don't go into the allergy details before or during your first date. Keep things light if at all possible. How? By all means, ask what restaurant you will be going to. Knowing the name, you can call and find out what the evening's menu is and what foods you need to avoid. Don't sweat it even if you don't find out until you get to the restaurant. You can excuse yourself from the table and go to the maitre d' or waiter, give them a list of your food allergies (best if already printed on a card) and ask for recommendations for what you can order. With that information, you can be ready to order as you and your date look over the menu.

If it naturally comes up that you have food allergies, do not avoid the conversation. It is part of who you are, and he will have to learn soon enough. Just do your best not to make it the dramatic conversation of the night.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was asked to help a couple get some things together for their wedding. I did help them some, but I wasn't able to be there on the day of the ceremony due to work and family conflicts. I know they were disappointed that I couldn't join them, although I let them know in plenty of time. What can I do to make sure they know how much I care about them? They are not close friends, but we like each other a lot. -- Celebrating Nuptials, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR CELEBRATING NUPTIALS: Send the couple a congratulatory card that acknowledges their union. Also, go to their gift registry and select something on the list that you can afford. Have your gift sent to them. After things settle down, if you like, you can check in with them to see how they are doing. Newlyweds appreciate hearing from loved ones. You will need to decide if you want to cultivate a relationship with the married couple. If so, let them know you want to spend time with them. Invite them to dinner or to an outing with you.

If you are not trying to insert yourself into their life, the card and gift are plenty.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter was invited to a sleepover with a friend from her school. I let her go, and they seemed to have fun, but she came home exhausted the next day. It turns out the girls stayed up half the night playing video games, talking and laughing -- or so she reported. I want my daughter to enjoy herself, but this seems extreme. Am I off base in thinking this? My daughter is 12. I haven't let her go to other people's homes very much, so I'm not sure what to expect. The girl's mother acted like it wasn't a big deal, but I am furious that she didn't give them boundaries. -- Out of Control, Syracuse, New York

DEAR OUT OF CONTROL: While not a good habit for a normal night, it is absolutely common for children to stay up late and indulge in fun activities, including the use of screens and even junk food, during sleepovers. Is this ideal? No. But I don't think you should make a big deal of it. Your child is learning how to be with friends, and this is part of the process. Expect sleepovers to be energy drains, and do not schedule important activities the morning after such events.

You may want to host sleepovers at your home, as well. In this way, you can introduce healthy foods and activities. Even then, be sure not to get too involved. Give your daughter space to explore friendship safely.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel so bad. I caught a cold this summer, and it really knocked me down. Because I work for a very small company, they needed me to come in anyway. I worked through it all, but now everybody at my company is sick. I am certain it's because I was in that office, coughing everywhere. I promise that I did my best to keep my distance, but I was sick. Now my co-workers are mad at me for passing along this germ. I am mad because my boss made me come in. Rather than continuing to point fingers, though, I want to bring this up to my boss to suggest that we make a revised policy about what we do when somebody is ill. How can I go about that? -- Sick-free Zone, San Francisco

DEAR SICK-FREE ZONE: It's a great idea to bring this up to your boss. Take ownership of your illness and describe when you felt sick, when you reported it to the boss and what happened. If you did ask for time off and were denied it, remind your boss of this, in context. If there was a big project or deadline, include that in the description. Sincerely explain how committed you are to your company and the work, which is why you want to look at this topic from a different angle. Describe the reality that your being in the office to do that work likely compromised everyone's health, affecting the productivity of the company. Suggest that in the future, if employees get sick, they should be encouraged to stay home -- even if they attempt to work from home -- to cut down on exposing others to illness. If your boss knows that others got sick, it will be easier to consider this wise recommendation.