DEAR HARRIETTE: My nephew does not like to drink water. He drinks way too much soda for someone his age, and I am concerned about his weight. My nephew happens to be sensitive about his weight, which is understandable, considering he is probably a good 40 pounds overweight at age 9. I want to encourage him to drink more water without hurting his feelings. I know what this can lead to. I drank tons of soda and ate lots of fried food as a child. I am fighting off a good 100 pounds of extra weight now. This is not a path my nephew should take. How can I help him make different choices? My sister seems to be oblivious to the consequences of feeding him this junk food. -- Staying Hydrated, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR STAYING HYDRATED: If you are willing to lay it all on the line with your nephew about how your eating habits as a child affected your weight and health as an adult, you stand a chance of getting through to him. People best understand things when they can envision them. Obviously, you can come up with statistics about what sweet, carbonated drinks do to the body. They are readily available. But proof positive of your weight struggles coupled with your telling your nephew exactly what you consumed as a child is more provocative. You should add to your discussion what your activity level was and is.

If you have started a regimen toward health that includes drinking water, eating healthfully and moving your body, perhaps you can create a challenge with your nephew that you two do together. You can check in regularly to see how well he is doing. Creating a buddy system provides structure for making smart choices. You should also talk to your sister and get her involved in your plan so that your nephew is supported on all saides.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I live in a lazy household. My husband and I have three children, but you would think that I am the only one who is responsible for the upkeep of the home. My husband rarely lifts a finger to help with anything, and my kids are rarely inclined to do anything at all. How can I change this pattern? -- Not the Maid, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR NOT THE MAID: You must assign responsibilities to each family member so that they know what is expected of them. Talk to your husband, explain your concern, and ask him to co-sign your plan. Ask him what he would like to do. Then map out what each child should do on a daily and weekly basis. Because this is new, chances are they may not develop the discipline immediately. Create incentives rather than punishments. If you finish your chores by X time, you get to do Y. Pick something that you know will be appealing to your children. By making the incentives fun and manageable, you can get your family into the groove of working together.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: It has been a dream of mine to continue my college education in London. When I spoke to my mentors about my plans, they told me that it would not be a good idea because the American job market will not hold an international degree in the same regard as an American college degree. I respect my mentor, but I really think I should go to London and make my dream come true. Besides, I cannot let my friends down -- this is all I have been talking about ever since I was 10 years old. What are your thoughts? Should I make my dream come true, or should I continue my college education in America with a focus on international studies? -- A Dream Deferred, New York City

DEAR A DREAM DEFERRED: Now is the time to listen to your heart and do your research. You should not think about whether you will be letting down your friends. People can change their minds if they choose. It is your life, not theirs. As far as your mentors, do some research to learn what they mean. If you are pursuing a degree in international studies at a British school that is acclaimed for this major, chances are that you will be well-placed in a job if you have a solid academic record. Figure out what the top schools are, and determine if you can afford to go, either because you can pay the tuition or you can secure scholarships or loans. Once you are prepared to make a decision, you will know what the best choice is for you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was invited to attend a small, intimate wedding in a few weeks for one of my college friends. I invited a woman to be my date for the ceremony; however, we are not currently communicating with each other due to a disagreement. Do you think it is wrong for me to call to inform her that I made new arrangements for the wedding? I don't mean to be rude, but we are no longer dating, and she doesn't even know the couple. -- Wedding Crusher, Philadelphia

DEAR WEDDING CRUSHER: You absolutely do not need to hold fast to the wedding invitation with this woman. You do need to let her know that you are no longer expecting her to go with you. You may also want to clear the air regarding your disagreement. Even if you have no intention of getting together with her ever again, it is kind and respectful to close the loop. In the best of worlds, you should contact her and start by addressing whatever the conflict was. Follow up with the point that you are no longer expecting her to join you. If she says she wants to attend anyway, you can either accept her -- if you would like that -- or tell her that's OK, you have made other plans.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: As I am getting my children ready for the upcoming school year, my son wants to paint half of his head green. I asked him why, and he told me his friends are painting their hair, and he does not want to be left out. I do not know how I feel about the idea. My son is a good kid, and he does not ask for much. What are your thoughts? -- Heads Up, Union, New Jersey

DEAR HEADS UP: Going with the crowd is always something to think about before making a decision. In this case, if the hair color is temporary, it may not be such a big deal. Obviously, you have to decide. Last year, when my daughter was 11, she asked to dye the tips of her hair like some of the girls she had met that summer. I let her do it, and it was fun for a couple of months before it wore off. In her case, it didn’t lead to her wanting to do it again or wanting to do any other trendy thing. That said, I’m sure more trends are to come.

Decide what is important to you and your family and what frivolities you will allow. I find that striking a balance between fun and seriousness is important -- as long as no decision compromises your values.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in a little hot water. Last week, I posted a comment on my Twitter page that has gotten me in trouble. My boss called me into his office to reprimand me because I complimented one of our competitors, and I was not aware that I could get in trouble for posting on my personal Twitter account. Do you think I can tell my boss that what I do when I am not working is none of his business? Or should I be more mindful regarding what I post on Twitter? -- Private Eyes, Philadelphia

DEAR PRIVATE EYES: In this day and age, everything you say, do or write can come into question in other parts of your life, including your work. Because you work for a company that has certain values, you are expected to align yourself with those values 24/7, not just when you are on the clock. Because you are admittedly naive about this, you can speak to your boss and apologize for making a comment that may have seemed inappropriate for the company. State that you thought your personal views were fine to post, but that you now see that this is not always true.

If you still want to work for your company, your boss will want to feel assured that you are 100 percent on board and that you will not make such a mistake again. He needs to believe that you are all in.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)