DEAR HARRIETTE: As I am getting my children ready for the upcoming school year, my son wants to paint half of his head green. I asked him why, and he told me his friends are painting their hair, and he does not want to be left out. I do not know how I feel about the idea. My son is a good kid, and he does not ask for much. What are your thoughts? -- Heads Up, Union, New Jersey

DEAR HEADS UP: Going with the crowd is always something to think about before making a decision. In this case, if the hair color is temporary, it may not be such a big deal. Obviously, you have to decide. Last year, when my daughter was 11, she asked to dye the tips of her hair like some of the girls she had met that summer. I let her do it, and it was fun for a couple of months before it wore off. In her case, it didn’t lead to her wanting to do it again or wanting to do any other trendy thing. That said, I’m sure more trends are to come.

Decide what is important to you and your family and what frivolities you will allow. I find that striking a balance between fun and seriousness is important -- as long as no decision compromises your values.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in a little hot water. Last week, I posted a comment on my Twitter page that has gotten me in trouble. My boss called me into his office to reprimand me because I complimented one of our competitors, and I was not aware that I could get in trouble for posting on my personal Twitter account. Do you think I can tell my boss that what I do when I am not working is none of his business? Or should I be more mindful regarding what I post on Twitter? -- Private Eyes, Philadelphia

DEAR PRIVATE EYES: In this day and age, everything you say, do or write can come into question in other parts of your life, including your work. Because you work for a company that has certain values, you are expected to align yourself with those values 24/7, not just when you are on the clock. Because you are admittedly naive about this, you can speak to your boss and apologize for making a comment that may have seemed inappropriate for the company. State that you thought your personal views were fine to post, but that you now see that this is not always true.

If you still want to work for your company, your boss will want to feel assured that you are 100 percent on board and that you will not make such a mistake again. He needs to believe that you are all in.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a new church while I was on vacation. The visiting minister who was preaching is a pretty well-known guy. I liked most of what he said, but I wanted to challenge some of his thoughts. I don't normally have a strong reaction to a minister's message, but this time I did. I am wondering if it is appropriate to follow up with him to ask if we could discuss his ideas some more. I know I am a random person in this man's busy life, but if he is a preacher, it seems to me he should at least consider addressing my questions. He presented a very provocative message that definitely resonated for me in some ways, but it rattled me in others. I want to learn more about his thinking and his premise. Do you think it's OK to contact him about this? -- Religious Inquiry, Miami

DEAR RELIGIOUS INQUIRY: I would imagine that this minister would be honored to have someone who listened to his sermon have commentary and questions about it. Now, depending on how busy he is and how large his congregation and his work are will determine how quickly he may get back to you. But you should definitely write him a letter or email stating when and where you heard him preach, what the title and subject of the message were and what your thoughts and questions are about it. By being specific, you will jog his memory. It is important not to assume that he will remember every sermon, given he likely delivers them on a weekly basis. He should remember his central points, and if you remind him, he should be able to respond to your questions.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend is getting on my nerves. She is always able to secure great jobs, and every six months or so, she gets fed up and calls me to say that she has quit her job. I am perplexed as to why she never lasts more than six months anywhere. Is there anything I can do to encourage her to stick around longer than six months? Or do I accept the fact that my friend is a nomadic job seeker? -- Stop Running Away, Newark, New Jersey

DEAR STOP RUNNING AWAY: One of the most difficult realities that people eventually have to accept is that they cannot control other people's behavior. It doesn't matter if you truly love the person or not. Heck, it doesn't usually matter even if the person is your child. When the person is your friend, it can be painfully difficult to watch her make what you consider to be bad choices.

What you can do is to sit her down and ask her why she constantly changes her job. Try to get her to explain her rationale for this. You can also express to her how strongly you believe this behavior will negatively affect her in the future because it suggests that she is not loyal or stable. After that, you have to leave her be. She has to design her life. You cannot do that for her.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a wonderful summer that included spending a week with friends. They went out of their way to make sure that my family and I were comfortable and had fun. I want to thank them for their generosity. We gave them little gifts when we arrived, but it seems like there should be some kind of follow-up to cap it all off. What do you recommend? -- Filled With Gratitude, Denver

DEAR FILLED WITH GRATITUDE: Why not go the old-fashioned route and send a handwritten thank-you note to your friends? Simply saying thank you is a wonderful way to complete the circle of giving, and it happens rarely these days. Pick out a lovely card with imagery that reflects the style and tone of your friends. Then write something that specifically expresses why you are grateful for the visit you had with them. Finally, have each family member sign the note. Then put it in the mail. Receiving such a note will be sure to put a smile on your friends' faces.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been doing a lot of work to help close out my father's life. He died about a year ago, and it has taken time to get everything together, but we are close. The super in his condo building has been very helpful to me throughout this process. I really couldn't have gotten everything accomplished without his support. I want to do something for him. I know giving him a tip is customary. It seems so cold, though. Is there something else I could do? -- Closing the Loop, Boston

DEAR CLOSING THE LOOP: You definitely should give the super a tip. Make it as large as you can afford. Generally speaking, tips help to round out the income for people in positions like that, so a monetary gift is exactly what he will appreciate. Now, because you want to personalize your sentiment in a significant way, you can also do some other things. If you have a photo of your father in the building, you might put that in an envelope with a card thanking the super for all his efforts to help you handle your father's affairs. You can write that you thought he might appreciate a memento of your dad -- the photo. Or if there is a particular item that belonged to your father that you noticed that the super admired, you could give that to him.

What's most important is that you express your gratitude clearly and that you follow it up with a generous monetary gift. Trust that he will consider this to be a perfect way of you expressing your gratitude for all that he did for you during this difficult period.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)