DEAR HARRIETTE: My family is very, very Italian. With our heritage comes darker, thicker hair. I consider the hair on my head a blessing, but have recently gotten comments regarding my arm hair -- typically, girls do not have dark arm hair like mine. I was bullied about my arm hair in elementary school, but then grew nonchalant about it. I am not getting bullied now, but casual comments such as, "Did you miss a laser appointment?" or "Shouldn't you wax your arms?" have been making me feel insecure. I do not mind it, but do not want boys to think I am gross because of how my arms look. Should I get rid of it for the sake of silence, or continue to deflect the comments? -- All About That Hair, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR ALL ABOUT THAT HAIR: You have to do what is comfortable for you. It is true that in our culture, many women and even men choose to shave, wax or even permanently remove body hair, including from the arms. There are safe treatments for conducting this procedure. But that doesn't mean that you should do them. Your decision should be based on your comfort level and your aesthetic choices.

Since hair does grow back under most circumstances, you could experiment and have it shaved once to see how you feel and how you feel about reactions to you. If you like it, you can continue. If not, you can simply grow it back. It is your choice.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have gotten to the age where my friends have young children. When we go out to dinner, they always bring their children, even if it is to a fancier establishment. I am not a mother, and I have witnessed their kids in restaurants behaving poorly or even refusing to eat any of the food and causing a scene. The parents usually mitigate their children's outbursts by handing them a phone or tablet to entertain themselves. I find this to be the worst way to handle the situation because it seems like two layers of disrespecting the restaurant. The first being the yelling and crying, the second being tablets and screens out on the dinner table. Is there anything I can say to the parents to prevent situations like this? -- Dinner Disaster, Seattle

DEAR DINNER DISASTER: This is tricky in that I think it is a very good idea for parents to take their children out to eat on a regular basis. This is how they learn how to behave in a restaurant, how to engage a waiter, etc. Yet, if they haven't had significant instruction and reinforcement at home, bedlam can ensue in public.

You may want to offer to support the dining experience by helping to engage the children. You could suggest to your friends, before the meltdowns, that you would like to present an alternative to screens, such as word games that everybody participates in, or storytelling at the table where each person -- children included -- build upon one story. This gets everybody thinking and activated. Helping rather than judging should ease the discomfort and may provide a means to a more wholesome experience for all.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I broke up with my boyfriend a little less than a year ago because of his drug addiction. He spiraled so far down that he got arrested, had a $100,000 bail and got kicked out of school. We lost contact because I did not want to see him throw his life away. Now he is on parole and gets tested multiple times a week, so he cannot drink alcohol or use drugs. We have reconnected, and started dating again. I love him when he is sober, but the drug tests won't last forever. Should I tell him it's me or the drugs? -- Sober Society, Detroit

DEAR SOBER SOCIETY: Drug addiction is an insidious disease that can easily show its face again and again, even in people who make huge efforts to be sober. That does not mean that if your boyfriend has been a drug addict, that you should simply walk away. Life is not that simple -- nor is love. Given that you have reconnected with this man, it must mean that you care deeply for him. I suggest that you take it very slowly. While you are choosing to spend time with him, be mindful of his parole. Consider that your levels of intimacy will move slowly, too. There is no need for you to be all in immediately, especially given that even the terms of his freedom are conditional now.

Take your time. Be a great support for him. And make it clear to him what your values and expectations are. If you are willing to walk away from the relationship completely if he does not stay clean, tell him. Explain that you are willing to forgive him once, but you are unwilling to be a serial forgiver. You want your man to be strong and clean and prepared to move forward in life. If that's who he wants to be, then you are in.

Do know that he should remain in some type of treatment or support group so that he will remain clean.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend's cat is getting very old, and I think it is time they put it down. The cat can barely walk, is blind and is practically deaf. The family loves it too much to see that it is suffering. They have no experience putting down a pet, but I do, and I think they should consider it. Are there any hints I could drop about euthanasia, or should I let the family come to terms on their own? -- No More Pain, Salt Lake City

DEAR NO MORE PAIN: It was once common for families to euthanize their animals, and it was an open type of conversation. Times have changed dramatically now, and it is almost considered taboo in some circles.

Tread lightly. You may want to tell your own family's story. Talk about your family pets and what happened during the end of their lives. If you have a story that could directly relate to this cat, share that -- without judgment. You can explain that your veterinarian recommended euthanasia for particular reasons. Tell them that this is often considered a humane option. But don't press. They must make their own decision.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My father's dog died suddenly last January. He was not prepared for the dog to pass and was devastated. Since he is older and does not have any children living with him and his wife, the dog became a replacement for a child. I understand mourning a death, but it is almost fall, and the dog's food bowl, tennis ball and leash are still in the house. I am not sure how to proceed. There are talks of getting my dad a puppy, but the other dog's belongings are thrown about the house. Should I suggest a memory box of some sort? Is it insensitive? I really feel as though it is time to move on. -- Dog Days Are Over, Denver

DEAR DOG DAYS ARE OVER: I love your idea of a memory box. You may also want to consider hosting a memorial service of sorts. For starters, suggest to your father's wife that you want to help the family heal from this loss. If she agrees, you can suggest it to your father together. Create a small service where you invite the people who are closest to your father who also loved the dog. People can say something about the dog and how much they loved it. Then, the items can be placed in a beautiful box that you secure, and it can be put in a special place. If both your father and his wife want a puppy, arrangements should be made to secure it shortly after this service.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I hung out with an old friend for a few days this summer, and I have to tell you that I left exhausted. We used to be ace buds, and we went lots of places together and talked all the time. That was some years ago. When we got together this time, I feel like what I heard the most were stories of how unhappy she is in her life and everything that's going wrong. I am not a therapist. I get that you want to let your hair down with your friends, but it was too much. She wants to hang out soon, but I don't have the capacity to listen to that again. When we were together, I suggested that she see a professional. She didn't want to hear that. How can I back out of this upcoming date or control the content of our conversations? -- Against a Wall, Dallas

DEAR AGAINST A WALL: You must take care of yourself, even as you make the effort to spend time with your friend. For the next get-together, if you want to go, find out if it can be a larger group of people. In this way, you won't be held hostage when your friend sinks into her sad place.

You might also organize activities that require you to do something, like going to the museum or watching a movie, or attending an art opening or a class of some kind. Try to get your friend out of her head by engaging in an activity. You can also tell your friend that you do not want to go down the sad road when she starts. Tell her that area is reserved for a professional.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)