DEAR HARRIETTE: I have recently re-entered the workforce after several years of being at home with my children. I am very fit and trim. I'm told by all of my friends that I look really good for my age, and that I don't look my age at all. I am asked my age all the time, though. It's weird. When I am at an event for work, anything from a business meeting to a cocktail party, people feel comfortable asking me how old I am. I never ask people that. I really don't think it's anybody's business. How can I bow out of the age game without offending anyone? -- Ageless, Detroit

DEAR AGELESS: People probably ask your age because you look so good. You can consider the question a compliment. Or -- do not answer the question! To keep things light, you can be demure and say something like, "A lady never tells her age!" If you stay upbeat and do not show any type of discomfort with the question while not answering it, they should leave you alone.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Last week, my mom drove my little brother home from a party while drunk. My mother went out to a bar, and when he called her to ask for a ride, she left her friends at the bar and picked him up. He did not know she was under the influence until he was already in the car. She was swerving and blubbering incoherently. My brother made it home unscathed and immediately called my sister and me. We do not live at home any longer, and I doubt our parents know he told us. Is there any way to bring this up without causing an uproar? We just want to set boundaries and protect all family members. -- Sober Sisters, Detroit

DEAR SOBER SISTERS: Perhaps uproar is exactly what this moment needs. Your mother and your brother are extremely lucky that no one got hurt during that drive. Take the risk to talk to your parents. If possible, go home and face your mother and father when you bring up what happened. If you cannot get home in a timely manner, get one or both of your parents on the phone, preferably with you and your sister on the line. This may end up feeling like an intervention, so having a witness is helpful. Tell your parents that you learned that your mother drove your brother home while drunk and that you know that she was swerving and it made your brother very nervous. Express your sincere concern for your mother and brother.

If you know that drinking is an issue for your mother, don't skirt it. Say that you know this is not a new thing, but it has gotten dangerous and you are worried. If this comes as a complete surprise, say as much. Either way, ask that they do whatever they must to ensure the health and safety of your brother and her. Expect one or both of them to deny or diminish what happened. Ignore that. Follow up with your brother to make sure he is OK in the aftermath of the conversation.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I met a woman at a conference I attended and learned that she has years of experience in the business I just got involved in. Once I learned that, I basically stalked her. Every time we saw each other, I asked her as many questions as I could so that I could learn from her. I feel like I may have turned her off, but I didn't want her to leave without gaining wisdom from her. I really do hope that we can stay in touch. How can I smooth things over as I reach out to her to keep the conversation going? -- Wannabe, Miami

DEAR WANNABE: Send this woman a thank-you note, telling her how grateful you are to have met her. Acknowledge that you know you were a bit pushy -- admit that you were just excited to meet someone in your field. Ask her if she would be willing to mentor you. Be specific in your request. Ask if she would talk to you several times a year about your business. Ask if she would be willing to give you advice if you come upon a professional stumbling block. Thank her in advance for considering your request. Then back off until you hear from her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a business conference that was focused around women. I had a great time and made a lot of good connections. I also noticed that several of the women attendees brought their husbands. The men didn't participate in the daytime activities, but I often saw them at night in the hotel restaurant or walking around on the property. I didn't think that was an option. I bet my husband would have enjoyed being at a resort location if we could hang out together at night. How can I make that happen at my next conference? Don't get me wrong -- I don't feel like I missed out on anything. There were activities for the attendees every night, so I was busy, but my husband and I haven't had a vacation in a long time. Sneaking in a mini-vacay could be nice. -- Splitting the Difference, Washington, D.C.

DEAR SPLITTING THE DIFFERENCE: It is not unusual for families to tag along during professional conferences in the summer. Sometimes it can be just a spouse. Other times, spouses and children come to these events and hang out with the conference attendee parent during off-hours. Depending on the nature of the conference, sometimes there are family activities built in so that family members aren't really peripheral at all.

In the future, check with the conference organizers to get their view on bringing spouses or children to the event. If they frown upon it, another option is to have your spouse arrive on the last day and you stay over an extra night or two.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A couple of years ago, I found out my husband was cheating on me, and I divorced him. My three kids had harbored resentment against me for "ruining" the family, so I made their father sit down with them and tell them what he did to ruin our marriage. Now, he has moved in with his mistress, and they have a baby. My teenage children adore this child and constantly show me pictures of her. I don't want to be reminded of my ex-husband's new life, yet I do not want to seem petty or jealous by refusing to look at the pictures. What should I do? -- Baby Blues, Cincinnati

DEAR BABY BLUES: Your children are working to make the best of an impossible situation -- for you, anyway. Adoring a newborn is natural. Indeed, that child should not suffer because of the demise of your marriage, even though it is the fruit of your husband's infidelity. Since your children are teenagers, they are old enough to understand a bit about complex emotions. You can say to them that you are happy that the baby is healthy and that they are enjoying the baby so much. Add that it is difficult for you to be so joyous. Encourage them to continue to bond with their father and his new family. When they offer to show you the photos, tell them you will look at them later. Instead of making a fuss about not viewing them, just push it off until later.

Eventually, you will have to make peace with the reality of this child and your family status. You divorced your husband. He is free to do whatever he wants. Yes, it hurts. But you must find a way to accept life as it is now -- for your own sake as well as for your children.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a small public relations company and have had the good fortune of growing my business to several clients this year. My first client recently contacted me about doing more work with her business. While I am grateful for the repeat business, I gave her a super discount the last time we worked together, and I don't think I can afford to honor it now. I am pretty busy, and I find that it is hard to juggle the work that I have. Should I tell her that I can accept her business only if she can pay my new rates? I don't want to insult her. Plus, she was my very first client. What do you recommend? -- P.R. Girl, Chicago

DEAR P.R. GIRL: Out of respect -- and business strategy -- I think you should honor your original fee with this client. Let her know that you can offer her a specific number of hours for that fee. Make sure she knows that your fee structure has changed, and tell her what it is so that if she refers you to friends, she knows what rate to quote. Tell her that out of appreciation for her loyalty, you want to allow her to keep the insider's rate. If she wants to expand the scope of your work with her, let her know you will have to up her rates a bit in order to cover your growing costs.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)