DEAR HARRIETTE: A couple of years ago, I found out my husband was cheating on me, and I divorced him. My three kids had harbored resentment against me for "ruining" the family, so I made their father sit down with them and tell them what he did to ruin our marriage. Now, he has moved in with his mistress, and they have a baby. My teenage children adore this child and constantly show me pictures of her. I don't want to be reminded of my ex-husband's new life, yet I do not want to seem petty or jealous by refusing to look at the pictures. What should I do? -- Baby Blues, Cincinnati

DEAR BABY BLUES: Your children are working to make the best of an impossible situation -- for you, anyway. Adoring a newborn is natural. Indeed, that child should not suffer because of the demise of your marriage, even though it is the fruit of your husband's infidelity. Since your children are teenagers, they are old enough to understand a bit about complex emotions. You can say to them that you are happy that the baby is healthy and that they are enjoying the baby so much. Add that it is difficult for you to be so joyous. Encourage them to continue to bond with their father and his new family. When they offer to show you the photos, tell them you will look at them later. Instead of making a fuss about not viewing them, just push it off until later.

Eventually, you will have to make peace with the reality of this child and your family status. You divorced your husband. He is free to do whatever he wants. Yes, it hurts. But you must find a way to accept life as it is now -- for your own sake as well as for your children.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a small public relations company and have had the good fortune of growing my business to several clients this year. My first client recently contacted me about doing more work with her business. While I am grateful for the repeat business, I gave her a super discount the last time we worked together, and I don't think I can afford to honor it now. I am pretty busy, and I find that it is hard to juggle the work that I have. Should I tell her that I can accept her business only if she can pay my new rates? I don't want to insult her. Plus, she was my very first client. What do you recommend? -- P.R. Girl, Chicago

DEAR P.R. GIRL: Out of respect -- and business strategy -- I think you should honor your original fee with this client. Let her know that you can offer her a specific number of hours for that fee. Make sure she knows that your fee structure has changed, and tell her what it is so that if she refers you to friends, she knows what rate to quote. Tell her that out of appreciation for her loyalty, you want to allow her to keep the insider's rate. If she wants to expand the scope of your work with her, let her know you will have to up her rates a bit in order to cover your growing costs.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I run in different social circles. His friends are a louder, wilder bunch, whereas my friends prefer more intimate and silly gatherings. I do not mind how my boyfriend's friends like to socialize, but I never enjoy myself when he drags me along to the gatherings. We are simply different types of social beings. Recently, his friends have been questioning him as to why my friends do not hang out with them. The truth is that none of my friends want to spend time in the environments they create. Is there any polite way to relay this message, or do we just keep avoiding and hope they take the hint? -- Not Quite Social Butterflies, Orlando, Florida

DEAR NOT QUITE SOCIAL BUTTERFLIES: This is a tricky situation that could have major implications if you and your boyfriend decide to get serious, mainly because interacting with friends is a significant part of a relationship. While you may not love the way that his friends hang out, it is a good idea for you to hang out with them sometimes. Corralling your friends to come along is another matter, however. You can tell your boyfriend that your friends are more low-key than his bunch, so they prefer not to join his gatherings. You can tell him that their gatherings are not your cup of tea, either, although you will come sometimes to support him.

Ideally, you need to figure out a happy medium where you spend some time with him and his friends and he spends some time with you and your friends. Otherwise, you will face a chasm down the line.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Yesterday, my mother called me to tell me she had organized a family vacation. I knew we would go on a family vacation sometime this summer, but she called me with hotel rooms already booked! The timing is horrible for me, and I do not want to go. I would be sharing a hotel room, so the room would have to be booked regardless. I have already tried apologizing to her and telling her I cannot go because of the timing, and she refused to accept my refusal. I told her I was sorry, but was not aware of how quickly and surreptitiously this would be set up and booked. She called me selfish and said since I do not have a "real" reason to not go, I would be attending. I head off to college a few days later, and I need to get ready. She knows this. Somehow, I need her to remember the priority. What should I do? -- Too Busy to Get Away, Syracuse, New York

DEAR TOO BUSY TO GET AWAY: Show some compassion along with clarity. Remind your mother of the to-do list that you have created to prepare for school, and point out that you need those few days leading up to heading off for school to complete it. Tell her you had hoped to have her help with the list, but if she must go, you understand. To be responsible, you feel strongly that you cannot vacation when you should be prepping for college.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I hate being catcalled. I know that the men who do this are not trying to make friendly conversation, because I walk with my headphones in my ears while looking straight ahead. I am clearly not interested. I do not enjoy the ogling and vulgar things that are said to me. I do not wear short skirts or see-through tops or anything else that should cause a ruckus. I am always professionally dressed. Do men do this to establish power because they know I will not say anything back? Is there any way to get this to stop? -- Rejecting Catcalls, Washington, D.C.

DEAR REJECTING CATCALLS: I wish I could explain why a man would feel the need to call out to a woman in the rude way that you are describing, and why he would believe that she should respond favorably to his outburst. I have yet to figure out how to stop catcalling. You could glare at the offenders as you walk by to express your disapproval silently.

Better still, you can cross the street and not walk into their space at all. While this may seem inconvenient, consider it the same as moving out of the space of ferocious dogs. I don't walk closely to pit bulls who look menacing. I consider men who catcall just like them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have an employee who is late for work at least twice a week. The excuse is always that the train caused a problem. He lives in an outer borough of New York City, and I know that the trains can have delays. I see them mentioned on the news sometimes, but the delays he mentions seem more like poor planning on his part. I have told him that he should plan on arriving a half-hour early rather than risking being a half-hour late. He thinks that's preposterous and that I should just understand that the subways can be messed up. How can I get it into his head that it is his responsibility to come to work on time and that if his mode of transportation is unreliable, he has to figure out a workaround? -- Watching the Clock, New York City

DEAR WATCHING THE CLOCK: Depending on how your company works, you may want to dock this employee's pay each day he is late. Sometimes, having a tangible consequence of lateness via a reduction in wages can drive home the point better than words. If he is late eight times in a month and his paycheck reflects that, he may just wake up to the need to leave his house earlier.

If you value this man's skill once he gets to work, you may want to consider changing his start time. Tell him that you value him so much that you want to make it easier for him to be "on time," so you have changed that start time. Watch this closely, as it may not work. He may just leave home even later and have the same issue. Ultimately, you will have to decide whether he is worth keeping on staff if he continues to be unreliable.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)