DEAR HARRIETTE: I got a call over the weekend from a guy I used to have a serious crush on. Nothing ever happened, and this was years ago, but when I saw his name on the phone, my heart fluttered. I did not answer because I was busy hanging out with my family. I'm sure he called for a business reason. We have worked on projects together in the past. He is totally on the up-and-up. It's me who is all hot and bothered about it. I know it's professional for me to call him back, but I don't want to sound crazy. How can I get my professional voice on when I automatically think about dating him? By the way, neither of us is available. We are both in long-term, committed relationships. I'm not even trying to date him. It's my body that kind of takes over and gets me all upset. -- Hot and Bothered, Atlanta

DEAR HOT AND BOTHERED: It's good that you can acknowledge the reaction that your body has to this man. Take a minute and cool down. Splash some cold water on your face, if need be. Remind yourself of the professional role that you occupy when you interact with him, and step fully into that role.

When you call him back, be pleasant and professional. Listen to learn the nature of his call. Do not suggest that the two of you meet. If he wants a referral, give it. If he wants to collaborate on a project, don't agree right away. Give yourself space to consider whether that is a good idea. It might be better for you to stay unavailable and recommend someone else in your place. Keeping more than an arm's length away from him seems wise, all things considered.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My stepmother never went to college. Now that my sister has almost graduated and I am heading off to college, she has gotten hostile whenever we mention higher education. She rudely questions us whenever we talk about what we want to learn about or even read. Recently, she snapped at me and asked why I was so interested in learning. My mother and father both have master's degrees, but my stepmother worked after high school. She works in a highly skilled trade industry that she learned, and she really loves it. She makes good money, and we have never belittled her for not pursuing higher education. How can we deflect her cattiness when we are not doing anything wrong? I feel as though suggesting she take online courses would make her angrier. -- Scholarly Struggles, Dallas

DEAR SCHOLARLY STRUGGLES: Chances are, your stepmother is feeling insecure, and that insecurity is leading to hostile behavior. One way that you may be able to shift the energy is to focus a bit more of it on her. When she asks you why you are so interested in a particular subject or book, point out that you want to figure out what you will do with your life and what kind of work you will do to earn a living, and you think education will help you. Remind her that she figured out her work focus early on and is flourishing in it. You hope that you will discover your passion and do the same in your own way.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is 9, and she wants to have a beauty party birthday party. Her idea is to have nails and makeup so that she and her girlfriends can dress up like princesses. I thought it was a cute idea, and I sent out an invitation to her friends. One of the moms called me to say she was concerned because she doesn't want her young child to be exposed to toxic chemicals. I hadn't thought about that. I don't want to expose the children to toxins, but I do want them to enjoy this party. How can I get around this challenge? -- Beauty Safety, Detroit

DEAR BEAUTY SAFETY: You are in luck. There are many beauty products designed for children to use. Nail polish, in particular, exists without harmful chemical additives. The color does not stay on as long, but so what? It's all about the fun party. Some options to consider are ella+mila (ellamila.com), a vegan line at The Body Shop (thebodyshop.com) and water-based nail polishes (prettypaintednails.com/nail-polish-for-kids/).

Similarly, you can look for nontoxic makeup and natural hair products that the girls can use to play with and have a great time without threat of health concerns.

Complete the party with tiaras and boas and other fun fashion items. You may also want to take photos of the girls as they get glammed up so that they can remember this day with fondness!

Be sure to double back to the concerned mom to let her know that you have worked out the party details so that everyone will be fine. Welcome her to stop by to observe, if she would like. Most important, create a memorable event for your child using your creativity and caution as your guides.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am still shocked by your recent response to Beware Sticky Fingers, where you told the writer not to blab on the kleptomaniac kid. If a person knows something and doesn't inform authorities, the person is a party to the crime. The right thing to do would be to inform the authorities anonymously and let nature take its course. That way, he may be straightened out in life earlier so as to learn to overcome the habit. It's theft. -- Just Saying, Waco, Texas

DEAR JUST SAYING: Thank you for writing in and sharing your thoughts. It is true that you can report a crime anonymously, and that could be helpful in this situation. Since the story, as I read it, really sounded like hearsay, that is why I did not make that recommendation.

Still, your point is an excellent one. Sometimes law enforcement officials can help to curb the development of bad behavioral patterns by checking a person with those tendencies early on in his or her life. So, to anyone out there who may be aware of a thief in the making, as was the case in this shopping mall, give the police a tip. It may actually help the offender.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister received an invitation to attend a family function a few weeks ago. She went to the party, and my family members were puzzled that I did not attend. My aunt called me and asked, "Why didn't you attend the party?" I told her that I do not attend a party without an invitation. She was surprised by my response and said she thought I was a bit crass. What do you think? -- No Invite, No Party, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR NO INVITE, NO PARTY: My guess is that there is more under the surface of this party invitation than meets the eye. It is your family. If you commonly go to family functions, it would be understandable that your aunt would wonder where you were. Perhaps it was a simple oversight on her part for not extending a direct invitation to you. It is curious that your sister did not speak up to ask her if you were included.

That's what begs the question about whether there is some tension brewing in the family. Or do they sometimes host events where only some family members are invited? That is a real possibility. When I was growing up, my parents had parties all the time, but they often did not invite family. It was a social function for friends. Maybe one or two family members would come, but not all.

In any event, your testiness suggests that you felt snubbed by not being invited. Rather than allowing that negative energy to fester, I suggest that you get on the phone and clear the air with your aunt. Life is too short to get worked up over an invitation.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend is going through a terrible time because her husband is deathly ill. We talk periodically, and I always offer to help in any way I can, but so far there doesn't seem to be anything that I can do for her or her husband. The last time we spoke, she asked me to keep them in my prayers. Of course I am doing that. But I feel helpless to offer real help. What do you suggest? -- Wanting to Support, New York City

DEAR WANTING TO SUPPORT: I first want to point out that prayer can be powerful, healing and tremendously beneficial. Do not discount actively engaging in this practice to support your friends. Be clear about the nature of your prayer. Since it sounds like your friend's husband is making his transition, you may want to pray for his peaceful passage and for his wife's ability to weather this difficult period.

Next, you can send a note to each of them expressing your love. Continue to check in with her to listen to where she is in that moment and to remind her that you are happy to support in any way that you can. When her husband does pass, be there for her. Very often people need that call in the aftermath, during the quiet moments when sadness sinks in.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)