DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is 9, and she wants to have a beauty party birthday party. Her idea is to have nails and makeup so that she and her girlfriends can dress up like princesses. I thought it was a cute idea, and I sent out an invitation to her friends. One of the moms called me to say she was concerned because she doesn't want her young child to be exposed to toxic chemicals. I hadn't thought about that. I don't want to expose the children to toxins, but I do want them to enjoy this party. How can I get around this challenge? -- Beauty Safety, Detroit

DEAR BEAUTY SAFETY: You are in luck. There are many beauty products designed for children to use. Nail polish, in particular, exists without harmful chemical additives. The color does not stay on as long, but so what? It's all about the fun party. Some options to consider are ella+mila (ellamila.com), a vegan line at The Body Shop (thebodyshop.com) and water-based nail polishes (prettypaintednails.com/nail-polish-for-kids/).

Similarly, you can look for nontoxic makeup and natural hair products that the girls can use to play with and have a great time without threat of health concerns.

Complete the party with tiaras and boas and other fun fashion items. You may also want to take photos of the girls as they get glammed up so that they can remember this day with fondness!

Be sure to double back to the concerned mom to let her know that you have worked out the party details so that everyone will be fine. Welcome her to stop by to observe, if she would like. Most important, create a memorable event for your child using your creativity and caution as your guides.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am still shocked by your recent response to Beware Sticky Fingers, where you told the writer not to blab on the kleptomaniac kid. If a person knows something and doesn't inform authorities, the person is a party to the crime. The right thing to do would be to inform the authorities anonymously and let nature take its course. That way, he may be straightened out in life earlier so as to learn to overcome the habit. It's theft. -- Just Saying, Waco, Texas

DEAR JUST SAYING: Thank you for writing in and sharing your thoughts. It is true that you can report a crime anonymously, and that could be helpful in this situation. Since the story, as I read it, really sounded like hearsay, that is why I did not make that recommendation.

Still, your point is an excellent one. Sometimes law enforcement officials can help to curb the development of bad behavioral patterns by checking a person with those tendencies early on in his or her life. So, to anyone out there who may be aware of a thief in the making, as was the case in this shopping mall, give the police a tip. It may actually help the offender.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister received an invitation to attend a family function a few weeks ago. She went to the party, and my family members were puzzled that I did not attend. My aunt called me and asked, "Why didn't you attend the party?" I told her that I do not attend a party without an invitation. She was surprised by my response and said she thought I was a bit crass. What do you think? -- No Invite, No Party, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR NO INVITE, NO PARTY: My guess is that there is more under the surface of this party invitation than meets the eye. It is your family. If you commonly go to family functions, it would be understandable that your aunt would wonder where you were. Perhaps it was a simple oversight on her part for not extending a direct invitation to you. It is curious that your sister did not speak up to ask her if you were included.

That's what begs the question about whether there is some tension brewing in the family. Or do they sometimes host events where only some family members are invited? That is a real possibility. When I was growing up, my parents had parties all the time, but they often did not invite family. It was a social function for friends. Maybe one or two family members would come, but not all.

In any event, your testiness suggests that you felt snubbed by not being invited. Rather than allowing that negative energy to fester, I suggest that you get on the phone and clear the air with your aunt. Life is too short to get worked up over an invitation.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend is going through a terrible time because her husband is deathly ill. We talk periodically, and I always offer to help in any way I can, but so far there doesn't seem to be anything that I can do for her or her husband. The last time we spoke, she asked me to keep them in my prayers. Of course I am doing that. But I feel helpless to offer real help. What do you suggest? -- Wanting to Support, New York City

DEAR WANTING TO SUPPORT: I first want to point out that prayer can be powerful, healing and tremendously beneficial. Do not discount actively engaging in this practice to support your friends. Be clear about the nature of your prayer. Since it sounds like your friend's husband is making his transition, you may want to pray for his peaceful passage and for his wife's ability to weather this difficult period.

Next, you can send a note to each of them expressing your love. Continue to check in with her to listen to where she is in that moment and to remind her that you are happy to support in any way that you can. When her husband does pass, be there for her. Very often people need that call in the aftermath, during the quiet moments when sadness sinks in.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I spent the weekend with my niece and nephew. We walked around the city, and my 6-year-old nephew asked me a question: "Why are there so many people on the street asking for money?" I was amazed by his observation, but I did not know how to respond to the question. If my nephew asks me a similar question in the near future, how should I respond? -- Eyes of a Child, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR EYES OF A CHILD: I believe in telling the truth, which may be nuanced in this case. One reality is that there are many people today who do not earn enough money to take care of themselves. This could be because they lost their jobs, they have fallen on poor health, they are drug addicts or they are suffering from mental disorders. For a young child, the answer could be as simple as some of them don't earn enough money to pay for someplace to live, and some are sick.

You can go further and talk about how your family chooses to acknowledge such people. Do you say hello to them? Do you give them money? If you do not give people on the street money, do you do anything to support people who are in greater need than you? Some families give to charities. Others give through their religious institutions. This is a great moment to talk to your nephew about compassion and the importance of not judging people who are in different circumstances than you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Is it legal for a company to do a credit check before it hires you? A few weeks ago, I went on a job interview. The human resources representative told me before the company could hire me, it would need to do a credit check. I was a victim of identity theft, and I am cautious when it comes to allowing people to look up my information. I would like the company to bypass the credit check process altogether to help my peace of mind. -- Need a Job, Chicago

DEAR NEED A JOB: In some states, it is legal for a prospective employer to check your credit report with certain stipulations: The company must get your written consent before pulling the report; the company must give you fair warning, along with the credit report, if the employer chooses not to hire you because of the contents of the report; and the company must give you an official adverse action notice because of the findings of the report -- meaning a notification that you were not hired because of information on your report.

The good news is that your state, Illinois, no longer allows prospective employers to pull a credit report for this reason. Other states that have rejected this practice include California, Colorado, Connecticut, Hawaii, Maryland, Nevada, Oregon, Vermont and Washington. And at least 20 more are considering this change, largely because after the downturn in the economy in 2008, many people suffered financially and their credit reports reflect this. Yet most people are working hard to get to higher ground and do not appreciate a blemish on their report standing in their way.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)