DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister received an invitation to attend a family function a few weeks ago. She went to the party, and my family members were puzzled that I did not attend. My aunt called me and asked, "Why didn't you attend the party?" I told her that I do not attend a party without an invitation. She was surprised by my response and said she thought I was a bit crass. What do you think? -- No Invite, No Party, Memphis, Tennessee
DEAR NO INVITE, NO PARTY: My guess is that there is more under the surface of this party invitation than meets the eye. It is your family. If you commonly go to family functions, it would be understandable that your aunt would wonder where you were. Perhaps it was a simple oversight on her part for not extending a direct invitation to you. It is curious that your sister did not speak up to ask her if you were included.
That's what begs the question about whether there is some tension brewing in the family. Or do they sometimes host events where only some family members are invited? That is a real possibility. When I was growing up, my parents had parties all the time, but they often did not invite family. It was a social function for friends. Maybe one or two family members would come, but not all.
In any event, your testiness suggests that you felt snubbed by not being invited. Rather than allowing that negative energy to fester, I suggest that you get on the phone and clear the air with your aunt. Life is too short to get worked up over an invitation.