DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor confided in me that her son is a shoplifter.

Apparently, he has been ripping off stores in our local mall for the past year with some regularity. She sounded almost proud of him because she says he has been so clever that he hasn't gotten caught. I am appalled. What's more, I have a friend who owns a store in the mall. I want to warn her about this young man.

At the same time, I know my neighbor told me about this in confidence. Do you think I should tell my friend? Should I tell the police? What should I do? -- Beware Sticky Fingers, Atlanta

DEAR BEWARE STICKY FINGERS: You are in an awkward situation. Because you have not witnessed the shoplifting yourself, you actually would be of little help in telling the police. You can, however, be of support to your friend who owns the store. Tell her about the young man and show her a picture of him if you can. At least you can give her the heads-up that she should be on high alert if he enters her store. Otherwise, leave it alone.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my daughter's friends just told my daughter that her parents are divorcing. They are already separated. It seems the girl is pretty upset, which is understandable. She tells my daughter all about what is happening, and it is becoming overwhelming for my daughter. Both girls are 10 years old. The friend recently asked my daughter to come over for a sleepover, but I don't like the idea. I would feel better if she came over our house. If the conversation goes too far into detail about the divorce, I can reel it back in. Do you think that makes sense? -- Protecting My Girl, Syracuse, New York

DEAR PROTECTING MY GIRL: Divorce is hard for many more people than the couple who are going through it. Your daughter's friendship is a perfect example of this. I'm happy to hear that you are not forbidding your daughter from being friends with this girl, yet you absolutely do need to manage your daughter's exposure to her in order to support her emotions during this tough time.

I definitely think that if you decide to allow a sleepover at all, it should be at your house so you can monitor their interactions. You may want to talk to the child's parent to check in with him or her. Since a divorce is underway and your child knows about it, you may want to let the parent know that your daughter is concerned about her friend, wants to be there for her and is feeling a little fragile herself.

Ask the parent if you can be of support. Listen to learn how he or she is managing. Have a keen ear to determine if there is any violence in the house. Obviously, you want to protect your child from that. By listening closely, you will be able to determine how and where the two girls can enjoy their friendship safely during this unstable time.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I made the decision to go back to college to get my degree, and I am happy to inform you that I graduated last week. I should have had a celebration for this accomplishment, but I didn't because I am in my 50s and I should have gotten my degree 30 years ago. I gave my graduation ceremony tickets away because I was embarrassed to invite my friends and family to celebrate this special occasion. I plan to keep this accomplishment a secret and not tell my family because I do not want to make a big deal out of it. Do you think I am being selfish for not including my family in my journey? -- Class of 2015, West Orange, New Jersey

DEAR CLASS OF 2015: Congratulations on your huge accomplishment! You deserve to be celebrated by all of your loved ones at this pivotal moment. Think back on all of the time and effort it has taken for you to get to this point. This may help you to shrug off the shame you feel for not getting your degree in the traditional time period.

It is not so much selfish as it is unfounded for you to hide this incredible achievement from your family. Tell them! Your success will likely inspire someone else to go for it, even if he or she is not "young." It is never too late to improve yourself. You are living proof of that!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I received a phone call from one of my wife's co-workers, who wished me a speedy recovery. I was perplexed because the only person who knew about my condition was my wife. It made me uncomfortable because my wife is sharing our secrets with her co-workers. I do not want to keep personal information away from my wife, but I think I have to, because I am afraid that she may tell something else. What can I do to keep our personal life at home and not at the workplace? -- Family Secrets, Chicago

DEAR FAMILY SECRETS: The people at work often turn into confidants, even when it is unintentional, because they are the ones we spend the most time with. When there is strife in a family, co-workers can be great shoulders to cry on. It is likely that your wife shared about your illness because she needed somebody to talk to about it. This does not make it right, but it may give you perspective on why she would do such a thing.

To prevent this from happening in the future, talk to your wife. Try not to be too angry when you bring up her indiscretion. Instead, express your understanding that she may have felt she needed to talk about your illness, but that you need her to keep your personal business private. Tell her how uncomfortable and violated you felt when her co-worker called you. Ask her to refrain from talking about your family business with her co-workers in the future.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: Today marks the anniversary of independence for our great nation. At a time when the freedom of so many of our citizens is being questioned, compromised and otherwise made less stable, it is essential for us to think about who we are. Without question, there are flaws in this great experiment in democracy. And yet, when I travel to different parts of the world, I see beauty all around while valuing my own country that much more.

When bad things happen stateside, many people stop to think about what they can or should do to make a difference. During certain political elections, depending on which side a person is on, there's plenty of talk about defecting to another country. Guess what? This isn't new. Going back as far as Marcus Garvey, there have been leaders who attempted to liberate Americans in bondage. Even then, the better choice turned out to be fighting on this soil for equal rights -- or so many believe.

Today, our country is in the midst of waging war all around the world in order to preserve our freedom here. Yes, there are people who fall on both sides of this debate over whether we should have boots on the ground in different regions of the world. A bigger discussion, though, is happening on our own soil.

A scab has been pulled off a very old wound, one that was created back when our country was founded. I see, through my own experience as well as through many years of studying racism and the insidious nature of how it plays out in everyday life, that our country must tackle it head-on so we can move past our unhealed sores.

Too many tragic events have occurred in the past year alone that point to the need for a national discussion about what Rodney King infamously asked: "Why can't we all just get along?" Interestingly, I believe the reason it is so hard for people of all backgrounds, genders, sexual orientations, races and economic status to cohabitate peacefully has everything to do with the capitalistic desire to want what we want when we want it, no matter what.

What happens when you feel contracted because there is something you want and believe you deserve, but you cannot have? And worse, when someone from a different group than you has that very thing?

In the simplest of descriptions, this is what happened to Dylann Roof, the young man who had been baptized into white supremacist thinking, who traveled to an historic African-American church in Charleston, South Carolina, and who murdered eight parishioners plus the pastor. His thinking got tangled in a web of rhetoric.

How often does this happen? Dare I say "too often"? Racism trumps most of the other "-isms" in terms of its breadth and depth, yet the reality is that discrimination of any kind erodes the very foundation of our country and its culture.

On this day of independence, I challenge us all to consider new ways of considering each other, starting with making the choice to accept those before us for who they are, without judgment. What happens then? From that vantage, we create the chance to redefine our truth. We make space to recognize and welcome the humanity in each and every one of us, even when we do not understand who is facing us.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)