DEAR HARRIETTE: My nephew's birthday is a few days after Christmas. Because of that, I often neglect to give him a separate gift for his birthday. I don't mean to forget. It's just that in the flurry of the holiday season and making sure I have gifts for everybody for Christmas, it's often way after I have traveled back home that I realize I didn't give him a birthday present. My sense is it doesn't matter much to him, but I feel bad about it. Should I give him an extra big birthday gift this year? How should I deal with this? -- Don't Forget, Washington, D.C.
DEAR DON'T FORGET: Instead of drawing attention to your neglect of the past, stay in the present. Get an appropriate gift for your nephew. Do not try to indulge him. Just think carefully about what he may enjoy and give it to him with a card that expresses your love for him. In the future, include him on your holiday gift list twice with a reminder of his birthday. When you write things down, it is easier to keep track of your responsibilities.