DEAR HARRIETTE: My nephew's birthday is a few days after Christmas. Because of that, I often neglect to give him a separate gift for his birthday. I don't mean to forget. It's just that in the flurry of the holiday season and making sure I have gifts for everybody for Christmas, it's often way after I have traveled back home that I realize I didn't give him a birthday present. My sense is it doesn't matter much to him, but I feel bad about it. Should I give him an extra big birthday gift this year? How should I deal with this? -- Don't Forget, Washington, D.C.

DEAR DON'T FORGET: Instead of drawing attention to your neglect of the past, stay in the present. Get an appropriate gift for your nephew. Do not try to indulge him. Just think carefully about what he may enjoy and give it to him with a card that expresses your love for him. In the future, include him on your holiday gift list twice with a reminder of his birthday. When you write things down, it is easier to keep track of your responsibilities.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 12-year-old daughter has terrible acne. She has medication from her dermatologist and has begun to pay closer attention to cleaning her skin, but her face is almost always broken out in the most painful and unsightly bumps. She is terribly self-conscious about her skin condition, and I am at a loss for how to comfort her. She has begun to wear her hair long in her face to cover up the bumps, but I really think it is making it worse because the oils in her hair are constantly touching the pimples. Some of the children at school have made bad jokes, and now my daughter is reluctant to even go to class. How can I help her hold onto her confidence? -- Beyond the Bumps, Detroit

DEAR BEYOND THE BUMPS: Puberty is a difficult time in most children's lives because their bodies are changing inside and out. Emotions tend to run high thanks to hormonal fluctuations. Add acne to the equation, and it's no wonder that your daughter is having a hard time.

Tell your daughter about puberty and the various things that happen to the body as it matures. While it may seem impossible for her to understand, continue to remind her that this uncomfortable period will pass. If you remember your experiences of puberty, share them with her.

Also encourage her to look around at her classmates. Chances are some of them are beginning to have acne and other physical changes in their bodies, too. It may help her to notice that she is not alone. In terms of hygiene, continue to remind her to cleanse her skin as directed by the dermatologist. You can also encourage her to avoid fried foods, processed foods and sugary soft drinks that tend to trigger breakouts.

Most of all, tell her how much you love her and how proud you are of her. Your faith in her is extremely important during this tender period.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am so upset right now. I just found out that my husband of five years has cheated on me. I suspected it for a while, so I did what I knew could get me in trouble: I read his text messages when he put his phone down. I saw a long text trail between him and another woman that included intimate talk of times they had been together. I am devastated. And I feel so stupid. I didn't mean to pry into his phone, but when I have asked him what's going on, he has always dodged my questions. Now that I know, what should I do? I don't want to leave him, but I don't want to share him either. -- Unfaithful, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR UNFAITHFUL: I am so sorry that your marriage has taken a bad turn. In order to have a chance at restoring trust, you have to talk to your husband. First, decide what you want. Do you want to fight for your marriage? Do you believe that there is hope for the two of you? If so, proceed with that top of mind. Rather than confronting him through anger or tears, be as calm as possible when you approach him. Tell him that you know that he has cheated on you and your heart is broken.

Make your plea for your marriage. Ask him if he is willing to walk away from the other woman and work with you to strengthen your bond. Ask him to go to therapy with you so that you have a mediator to help you walk through your marriage and identify what may have led to your husband straying as well as what you two can do to reduce and potentially eliminate the temptation for him to stray again.

You do not need him to admit his indiscretion. You know it already. If he continues to lie and say that he has done nothing wrong, continue to tell him that you know he has and that rather than get into the details of what he did, you want to build a future with him. Be sure to listen to his reaction. You cannot do this alone.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm hosting a party for a friend who is about to move out of the country. We are all very excited for her and look forward to being together to send her off in grand style. I have spent a pretty penny pulling the party together, which I am very happy to do. My friend has been there for me through everything. We have been friends since we were kids. Should I also buy her a separate gift? Essentially, I'm wondering if the gift of the party is enough. -- Celebrating, St. Croix, United States Virgin Islands

DEAR CELEBRATING: Your gift is the party, and you should feel great about that. Because this is your very dear friend who is soon to move away, you can also write her a letter sharing poignant memories of your experiences together. Put that letter in a beautiful card. That can be the additional gift that you offer to her.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: Happy New Year! I am excited about 2015. I am looking forward to a year brimming with prosperity, good health, fellowship and family. I am claiming abundance for this year, because that is what I want for myself and everyone else. I absolutely believe that the universe has enough of everything in it so that we can all be comfortable and live with grace and ease. For that to happen requires that we all become more mindful of how we live and the choices we make for ourselves and others. We have to choose to be conscious and intentional about how we live each day. That is not a simple task, to be sure.

I am fully aware that on this very day, many of us make promises for what we intend to do differently in the coming year. Many of our goals are lofty and ambitious. Most of us find it impossible to stick to those goals for even a month, let alone a year or a lifetime. Have you ever found yourself in that situation? January is known by many as fitness month because so many people pledge that they are going to lose weight, go back to the gym, etc. How many people live up to that goal? It isn't for lack of interest in improving their lives that people fall short. Often, it is because it is extremely hard to change any behavior, large or small. And it is virtually impossible without a manageable plan.

That is why I want to present a different approach. I am a big believer in dreaming. Dreams have fueled my career and my life for many years. And yes, I believe in having big dreams. To make a dream manifest, though, I have learned that you need to identify small steps that lead to the fulfillment of that dream. For example, I have talked to countless people who tell me they want to write a book but have never gotten around to it. If you want to write a book, you have to start writing and ideally write something every day. Through the discipline of writing, you create a chance for your dream to manifest.

Similarly if you want to get out of debt, don't just dream about it, do something. Write down every debt that you have. Create a timeline for paying off all of your bills. Then methodically follow your timeline.

Same goes for weight loss, fitness, getting an education -- pretty much anything you want to do in your life. Claim it, and then create a manageable plan so that you can manifest it. Whenever possible, have a buddy who will support you. Having encouragement when you are attempting to change a behavior or execute a plan can be extremely helpful, especially when you are feeling vulnerable.

And if you share my dream of ensuring that everyone in the world would have abundance and joy just as I intend to have, make sure that you include the welfare of others in your choices. Choose a charity to support financially, through service or both. When we remember that we are part of a bigger world and we include that awareness in our choices, we create space for goodness to reach all of us.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)