DEAR HARRIETTE: I was invited to go to a holiday dance with a guy I really like from my college. I want to go, but I feel like an idiot because I never learned how to dance. My parents were very strict, and they never allowed us to listen to secular music. Dancing was out of the question. I am not as strict as they are, but now I am clueless when it comes to dancing.

I like this guy. He seems very reserved, kind of like how I grew up. He definitely is respectful. I don't want to run him off when he realizes I am so backward. Should I tell him I don't know how to dance? I don't know how to fake it, and I don't know anybody to ask to teach me, either. -- Two Left Feet, Syracuse, New York

DEAR TWO LEFT FEET: It is good that you are drumming up the courage to go to the dance with this young man. Trust that you will not be the only one who doesn't know how to dance! Still, that doesn't mean that you should go without some preparation.

Look online for dancing instruction. You can find tutorials that will help you to learn how to move your body with simple steps. If you think your date could be game, you could tell him that you are excited to go to the dance but that you would love to do some practicing. It would be easier for you to talk to this young man about your background and your need to learn the basics of dancing before you are standing in front of each other on the dance floor at the event. Tell him you have something you want to discuss with him. Then go for it. Ask him to give you a lesson or two. If he says he doesn't know how to dance either, that's all the better. Ask him if you two can muddle through it a time or two before the dance. This may strengthen your friendship. It certainly should help you to feel more at ease on the big night.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I completely disagree on how we should take care of our home. We both have full-time jobs along with part-time jobs, so we don't spend much time at home, due to our schedules. We work so much because we have two children, and it is expensive to care for them and pay the mortgage and car notes, etc. Anyhow, I want to hire a housekeeper to help keep us in order. By the time I get home from work, I do not have enough energy to thoroughly clean, and my husband chooses not to do anything, so our house is dirty. He thinks it should be my job because I'm the wife. Both of us are working, and I just don't have the time to do a good job. How can I get him to reconsider? -- Dirty House, Detroit

DEAR DIRTY HOUSE: Explain to your husband that the conventional role of a woman being responsible for cleaning the house doesn't work in a household where both spouses work double-time. Either the two of you have to work together to get your house in order, or he has to concede that you need and deserve outside help to keep it together.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was just invited to a spectacular weeklong celebration with an associate. Apparently, he organizes an annual trip that he invites a range of people to attend. I have seen pictures on social media from past years when he threw this amazing event. It always looks so fun. But it's way out of my price range. I am flattered that I would be considered on his short list of people to invite, but I cannot do it. How do I go about telling him without revealing my tight purse strings? I don't want to be taken off his list for other things, but I can't swing this one. -- Out of Range, Chicago

DEAR OUT OF RANGE: It is an honor to be included on this person's short list of people with whom he would enjoy sharing his celebration. As an honored invitee, by all means send him a note telling him that you appreciate his invitation and that you will not be able to join him this year. Wish him a fabulous experience on the trip and tell him you will enjoy it vicariously through his social media postings.

Just as this man has thought of you for this special occasion, you should remember him. If you send out holiday cards, include him on that list. If and when you host gatherings, consider inviting him. It is clear that he values you, so keep him in your life by including him in those activities that you create.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just watched the classic film "Gone With the Wind." I swear that the character Scarlett O'Hara reminds me of my best friend from back home. She has been married three times now, but she doesn't love any of those guys. She has been in love with her high school crush since anybody can remember. I feel so bad for her most recent husband because she only has eyes for this other dude. She has two kids with this guy, who is really nice, but who doesn't stand a chance unless my friend decides to get over her crush for good. He is clueless. He's just a nice guy who wanted to have a family. I thought that I should tell her to watch this old film. Maybe she would see how ridiculous she has been acting. What do you think? -- Shake Her Into Reality, Los Angeles

DEAR SHAKE HER INTO REALITY: When people are caught up in their own emotional web, it is rare that they can observe their own behavior. That said, if you rave about the movie and tell her you think she will love it -- without telling her that you see her in it -- you may be able to get her to view it. There's a chance she could recognize herself in the protagonist's tragic behavior.

Ultimately, though, your friend is living her life. You should not attempt to meddle in it. If she watches the movie, she will see whatever she sees. Let her live her life as you live yours.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son has been hiding his homework assignments from my wife and me for several weeks now, something we learned from his teacher, who called me the other day to ask what was going on. We have always considered our boy to be a good kid. When I asked him about the missing homework assignments, he did not reply, he just shrugged it off. My wife thinks it is a good idea to ground him so we can teach him a lesson. I disagree because we have not figured out why he has not turned in his schoolwork. What do you recommend? -- Need to Take Care of Business, Charlotte, North Carolina

DEAR NEED TO TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS: Continue the conversation with your son's teacher to learn everything you can about his behavior at school. Ask questions so that you can learn about his social life, his other studies and if there is anything unusual going on in his life.

If you believe you can get your son to talk to you, create a safe space for the two of you to be together. Without passing judgment, ask him how things are going and what happened that led him to not do his homework and hide it from you. Find out if he needs help understanding the assignments. If so, tell him you can get him a tutor. Sometimes students who are well-behaved are promoted without much difficulty, even if they are experiencing academic challenges. Your good boy may need support.

I recommend figuring out the problem before punishing him. At the same time, I would not reward him with anything extra. You need to figure out the source of his struggle.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Your reader Dallas Scrooge needs to do exactly as you say and join her fiance for holiday movies. After I was married, I learned my husband's secret -- Monty Python and Mel Brooks movies! Definitely not my idea of funny. From toddlerhood to adulthood, our daughter would sit and laugh with him, watching the movies. I never got it, but never complained because they were having fun together, and that was wonderful. Now, after 43 years of a love-filled marriage, he is gone. When I think of Monty Python, and my Jack's and Anne's laughter, I finally smile. In retrospect, those were great years. -- Thankful, Loudon, Tennessee

DEAR THANKFUL: Isn't it amazing how the little things make all the difference in a relationship? Often, the little things that matter to one partner are different from what moves the other one. Hence, the art of compromise. You really do not have to love your partner's hobbies or interests. Respecting them and honoring them, making space for each of you to have your indulgences, is part of showing your love.

Your story serves as testament to the type of fruit a loving relationship can yield, even after death. Thank you!

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)