DEAR HARRIETTE: I was just invited to a spectacular weeklong celebration with an associate. Apparently, he organizes an annual trip that he invites a range of people to attend. I have seen pictures on social media from past years when he threw this amazing event. It always looks so fun. But it's way out of my price range. I am flattered that I would be considered on his short list of people to invite, but I cannot do it. How do I go about telling him without revealing my tight purse strings? I don't want to be taken off his list for other things, but I can't swing this one. -- Out of Range, Chicago

DEAR OUT OF RANGE: It is an honor to be included on this person's short list of people with whom he would enjoy sharing his celebration. As an honored invitee, by all means send him a note telling him that you appreciate his invitation and that you will not be able to join him this year. Wish him a fabulous experience on the trip and tell him you will enjoy it vicariously through his social media postings.

Just as this man has thought of you for this special occasion, you should remember him. If you send out holiday cards, include him on that list. If and when you host gatherings, consider inviting him. It is clear that he values you, so keep him in your life by including him in those activities that you create.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just watched the classic film "Gone With the Wind." I swear that the character Scarlett O'Hara reminds me of my best friend from back home. She has been married three times now, but she doesn't love any of those guys. She has been in love with her high school crush since anybody can remember. I feel so bad for her most recent husband because she only has eyes for this other dude. She has two kids with this guy, who is really nice, but who doesn't stand a chance unless my friend decides to get over her crush for good. He is clueless. He's just a nice guy who wanted to have a family. I thought that I should tell her to watch this old film. Maybe she would see how ridiculous she has been acting. What do you think? -- Shake Her Into Reality, Los Angeles

DEAR SHAKE HER INTO REALITY: When people are caught up in their own emotional web, it is rare that they can observe their own behavior. That said, if you rave about the movie and tell her you think she will love it -- without telling her that you see her in it -- you may be able to get her to view it. There's a chance she could recognize herself in the protagonist's tragic behavior.

Ultimately, though, your friend is living her life. You should not attempt to meddle in it. If she watches the movie, she will see whatever she sees. Let her live her life as you live yours.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son has been hiding his homework assignments from my wife and me for several weeks now, something we learned from his teacher, who called me the other day to ask what was going on. We have always considered our boy to be a good kid. When I asked him about the missing homework assignments, he did not reply, he just shrugged it off. My wife thinks it is a good idea to ground him so we can teach him a lesson. I disagree because we have not figured out why he has not turned in his schoolwork. What do you recommend? -- Need to Take Care of Business, Charlotte, North Carolina

DEAR NEED TO TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS: Continue the conversation with your son's teacher to learn everything you can about his behavior at school. Ask questions so that you can learn about his social life, his other studies and if there is anything unusual going on in his life.

If you believe you can get your son to talk to you, create a safe space for the two of you to be together. Without passing judgment, ask him how things are going and what happened that led him to not do his homework and hide it from you. Find out if he needs help understanding the assignments. If so, tell him you can get him a tutor. Sometimes students who are well-behaved are promoted without much difficulty, even if they are experiencing academic challenges. Your good boy may need support.

I recommend figuring out the problem before punishing him. At the same time, I would not reward him with anything extra. You need to figure out the source of his struggle.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Your reader Dallas Scrooge needs to do exactly as you say and join her fiance for holiday movies. After I was married, I learned my husband's secret -- Monty Python and Mel Brooks movies! Definitely not my idea of funny. From toddlerhood to adulthood, our daughter would sit and laugh with him, watching the movies. I never got it, but never complained because they were having fun together, and that was wonderful. Now, after 43 years of a love-filled marriage, he is gone. When I think of Monty Python, and my Jack's and Anne's laughter, I finally smile. In retrospect, those were great years. -- Thankful, Loudon, Tennessee

DEAR THANKFUL: Isn't it amazing how the little things make all the difference in a relationship? Often, the little things that matter to one partner are different from what moves the other one. Hence, the art of compromise. You really do not have to love your partner's hobbies or interests. Respecting them and honoring them, making space for each of you to have your indulgences, is part of showing your love.

Your story serves as testament to the type of fruit a loving relationship can yield, even after death. Thank you!

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am dealing with jealousy issues at work that I do not know how to handle. My time is split between commuting to the office and working from home. My colleagues have complained that I have a better life because I am not stuck in the office five days a week. How can I change their perception because I do the same amount of work? -- Want To Be a Team Player, Salt Lake City

DEAR WANT TO BE A TEAM PLAYER: You may not be able to change your colleagues' perception of you. If they are jealous that you work from home when they don't, you can't easily rectify that. What you can do is to show them how present you are.

For example, when you are working from home, for a while choose to be less independent. Include them on video calls or traditional conference calls with more regularity. Call them up and run ideas by them for the projects that you share. The point is for you to choose to be more closely connected to them, even though you are in different places. One of the benefits that people experience when they work in the same space is that they can bounce ideas off each other and generally enjoy the camaraderie of being together. Do your best to cultivate that type of connection with them when you are in their company and when you are not.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Old friends of the family are coming to spend Christmas week with my husband and me, and we are thrilled to host them. The only problem is that we have a family tradition where we go to our annual midnight church service on Christmas Eve, and our friends do not want to go. Do we skip our annual activity in order to be good hosts? What should we do? -- Host Blues, Baton Rouge, Louisiana

DEAR HOST BLUES: Especially during the holidays, it is important for hosts and guests to be flexible. Just because your friends are coming to visit does not mean that you have to be by their side every minute of their stay. What you can do is to manage their expectations by letting them know the itinerary for their stay -- what you are already planning to do and what some fun options might be for them to do solo and with you and your husband. This includes your midnight Christmas Eve service. But it may also include other activities. Talk to your friends about what they would like to do while they are in town. While you do not have to be tour director, it would be great for you to research a series of options of seasonal activities and make recommendations. Be sure to leave space for unstructured time, too. The best visits include together time and alone time!

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)