DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend got into a huge fight with her parents and wants to stay with me in my apartment for a while. My roommate is fine with it, but I'm confused about what to do, since I've never been in this situation. The fight didn't sound that awful to me, but she was very upset. Should I let her stay with me, or should I encourage her to figure things out with her parents? -- In the Middle, Syracuse, New York

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: You have not said your ages, so I am going to assume that your friend is not a minor. If she is a minor, you must tell her parents where she is, or you could be considered a kidnapper, even if you are trying to help.

Since you are able to allow your friend to stay at your home, do so. Give her a clear timeline by which she has to leave -- a day to a week. While she is at your place, get her to open up. Find out what's going on, as it relates to the argument and also any other details about her relationship with her family. Do your best to learn what is beneath the tremendous emotion and turmoil that would lead to your friend wanting to run away.

Let her know that you care about her and want her to be happy. Make it clear that you have no intention of taking sides as it relates to her family business. Urge her to go home and straighten things out, even if she ultimately intends to move out. Clearing the air with her parents should be her goal.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My grandmother is such a worrywart. We've even had to stop telling her when we go out of town because all she does is freak out and call multiple times a day to make sure we're OK. Recently, my mother went out of the country and didn't tell my grandmother. I told her by accident, and now she's calling every day, hysterical, to see if we've talked to my mother. Is there a polite way to tell her to stop worrying and calling so much? -- Protecting Grandma, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR PROTECTING GRANDMA: It is common for older people to become more highly sensitive to their surroundings, their loved ones and all aspects of their lives. Because they often feel more fragile and vulnerable in the world and they realize they do not have the capacity to fix things as they once did, they can become distressed about change of any kind.

The best thing you and your family can do is decide together what you will share with your grandmother and then stick to that. If travel is a trigger for her, keep your trips under wraps. You can also try to set up call times, saying you will call when you arrive at a destination but not during your trip, and that you will call when you return, a time she can already know. By creating clear boundaries for your grandmother, you may make it easier for her to be calmer and for you to enjoy your life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: About a year ago, my mother fell and broke her pelvis, and she has been living with us since that day. Before she fell, we noticed deterioration in her mental stability. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, and it has been very difficult for our family. She is unable to do anything that she used to be able to do, such as making her own food, and she is completely dependent on someone else to provide for her. I try to tell her something, and she immediately forgets it. This makes me angry and upset because I remember how she used to be. How can I try to accept the present circumstances and not get angry? -- What to Do, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR WHAT TO DO: Caring for your mother has got to be tough. You are facing two huge hurdles: a broken pelvis and its aftereffects for an elder and Alzheimer's. You need professional support to help your mother.

To figure out what help your mother is eligible to receive, collect all of her insurance papers so that you can determine what conditions are covered on her plan. Did she purchase long-term care insurance? If so, that can be tremendously helpful in allowing her to remain in your home with the potential for around-the-clock care. Review your mother's assets to determine what you need to liquidate in order to be able to afford proper care for her. Some people have had to sell property to pay for assisted living, support, etc.

Talk to your mother's doctor about her specific and ongoing needs. It is likely that she will come to a point when she needs care beyond your capability. Indeed, you could be there already. To learn about how to get professional home care that is covered by insurance, visit www.alz.org/nyc/in_my_community_17493.asp.

Yyou may want to join a support group for family members who are dealing with parents with Alzheimer's. It can be tremendously difficult, but being able to talk to others in similar circumstances may help you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My cousin moved to town about two years ago, and I feel awful because I hardly get to see her. My life seems so busy all the time. We were spending time together a lot when I was able to hire her to help me on a project, but now she has her own job -- thank goodness -- and we seem to have drifted apart. We definitely love each other, and I don't want months and months to go by without us getting together. I also feel bad that the only time I could for sure see her was when she was on my payroll. What kind of a cousin am I? I feel like my grandmother would be flipping in her grave if she saw how selfish I seem. But I'm doing the best I can. I am married with a young child, and we are struggling to make ends meet. I'm not trying to make an excuse. I just want to see my cousin more. What can I do? -- Stretched, Atlanta

DEAR STRETCHED: Call your cousin. Tell her you miss her and want to see her soon. Make it a priority and get together. Stop feeling guilty. It will only disable you. Chances are your cousin is living her own life and holds no ill will toward you. Be in the present. Make a meeting happen. Share love when you see each other.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends' parents have been going through a rough patch for about five years. This year, they decided to get a divorce. I found out about this a few months ago and have been there for them whenever they want to talk. However, they usually don't want to discuss what's going on and how they are feeling. Even though they don't want to talk about their family and the divorce, I have noticed that they always seem upset or sad. They were very close with their father, and now they barely see him. I want them to know that I am here if they ever need anything, but is there anything I can do until they come to me? -- In the Middle, Albany, New York

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: What you can do is to be there for your friends as a friend. Rather than asking them about the divorce, focus on positive ways that you can influence their lives. Think of activities that you have enjoyed together over the years. Invite them to participate in those activities with you now. When you call them or text them, communicate something uplifting. You can tell stories or share funny anecdotes. You can just call to say, "I'm thinking about you."

The best thing you can do is to be a safe place for them to find consistent happiness. In this way, you may be able to draw them out to spend time with you, especially when things are tough. Avoid getting into their business. As much as you might be interested, you are not an expert on divorce or family dynamics. As a friend, remember to be a friend: a great listener with an open heart.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two kids. My son is already in college, and my daughter is a senior who is choosing which college she wants to attend. We are a middle-class family and live in a wealthy town. I am incredibly worried about funding both of my children's education. I want to be able to support them, but I also know that we cannot afford to spend that much money on college. I would never want to sacrifice their education, but I am worried we will get into debt because of this. How can I tell my daughter that she cannot attend a school that we cannot afford without crushing her dreams? -- Reality Check, Westchester, New York

DEAR REALITY CHECK: How good are your daughter's grades? Before giving up on certain schools, help your daughter research scholarship opportunities that may be perfect for her accomplishments. Speak with the guidance counselor at her school to learn about opportunities that you may not already know.

Definitely talk to your daughter also about the reality of your family finances. Figure out first what you can afford to pay for her college education and which schools fit into that range. This will help her at least to see what the options may be. Remind her that every family has to make individual school choices based on what they can afford and the student's academic record. Promise your daughter that you will work with her to secure the best education that your family can afford.