DEAR HARRIETTE: Sometimes the older people in my family use language or state ideas that, while OK when they were younger, are now considered offensive. Should I point it out to them that they're being offensive or just let it go because they are older? -- Mouth Hanging Open, Philadelphia

DEAR MOUTH HANGING OPEN: You need to address this incredibly prickly challenge on a case-by-case basis. Consider each of the offenders, and evaluate whether you believe the person has the capacity to hear and consider what you are saying. This is important because it is likely that some of your family members are not open to considering how our culture and values have evolved over time or even how terms have changed for what people call themselves.

The people you can most likely affect are those who have the ability to listen and talk with you about contemporary issues. You can introduce the conversation by saying that you believe that they want to be sensitive to other people's views, lifestyles and feelings. From that perspective, you want to bring it to their attention that they have been making statements that could easily be considered offensive. Proceed to give them examples of what you mean. Go one example at a time so that you can talk about it and come to a full understanding of what you find offensive.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends recently got engaged to her boyfriend of a couple of years. Some of her other friends and I think that they are too young and may be rushing into things. Is there a right age to consider marriage, and should we tell our friend that we think she's too young? -- Skeptical, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR SKEPTICAL: You do not have the foresight to know whether it is a good idea for your friends to marry at their current age. While you and your friends may be concerned, it is pure conjecture on your parts as to whether this relationship will actually work. Yes, it may sound like a sappy romance movie, but plenty of people have married young and stayed together for life.

That said, if you have legitimate concerns, try to get to the bottom of them. Ask your friends about their plans. Find out how they envision their life together. Will they continue their education? When do they want to have children? Do they have thoughts about religion? Do the families get along? When are they planning to have the ceremony?

Sometimes people get engaged but wait a while to marry. Engagement shows their commitment to each other. Do not panic for your friend. Instead, encourage your friend group to get to know them as a couple. Be supportive of their bond, and watch to see how their story unfolds.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend of mine has been in a serious relationship with someone for about 10 months. Their relationship progressed somewhat quickly, and I'm unsure of what to do now. She has been a close friend for a while, but since she has been in this relationship she has changed. A lot of time, people say that relationships change you for the better, but she did not change for the better. He is the only person she spends time with now, and he has gotten in the way of her work and prior commitments. I want to tell her that she is making a big mistake by being with him, but I'm afraid of how she will react to hearing this. -- From a Distance, Scarsdale, New York

DEAR FROM A DISTANCE: Often, in the beginning of relationships -- and 10 months is still fairly early on -- couples spend an inordinate amount of time together. This can be jarring for friends who used to occupy a significant amount of that time. That alone is not necessarily an indicator of a downward spiral. However, your mention of her work and prior commitments is troubling. If your friend does not go to work, arrives late regularly or performs poorly, she could lose her job. If there is a legitimate reason that you know about your friend's work habits of late, you can bring that up with her. Let her know what you have learned, and caution her to strike a balance between him and her livelihood.

If she has specifically not honored a commitment with you, bring that up and ask her what's happening. Tell her that you were disappointed that she didn't do what she said she was going to do. To the best of your ability, do not bring up her boyfriend. Instead, talk about her changing behavior patterns that make you wonder what's going on with her. Coax her thoughts to the surface, not by being judgmental, but by being an actively engaged friend. You can tell her you miss her and want to spend more time with her. Do not expect things to be as they were, though.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am working on a project with a woman who is driving me bonkers. Everything is an argument. I understand her frustrations: We are doing what feels like twice the work for less money. She wants to fight for more money, but I know it isn't worth it. We live in an economy that is tight, and our client was clear about the budget from the outset. I am tired of the back and forth. I know that business comes with a certain tug of war, but I don't like the experience with her anymore. I am the one who brought her on, and now I'm wondering if it is time to cut ties. -- At My Wit's End, Denver

DEAR AT MY WIT'S END: Schedule a heart-to-heart with your subcontractor. Tell her that you are concerned that she is unable to be in alignment with the plans and budget for your project, and note that if she remains unable to develop a professional attitude about the job, you will need to ask her to leave. (Of course, you had better check your agreement with her first, to make sure that you can legally walk away from it.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I seem to be addicted to social media. Ever since I got on Facebook a few years ago, I sign on every day, and I check in all the time. I mean, even at work I check in on Facebook and now on other social media things like Twitter and Instagram. I love taking photos and posting them. I know this probably seems juvenile, but I find it to be a fun way to connect with people. I am single and in my 40s. This way, I get to see what other people are doing and entertain myself. But I find that sometimes it is too much. Sometimes I end up staying up really late checking out what other people are doing or not getting my work done on time if I get caught up in something interesting online.

I noticed that one of my "friends" said she was taking the summer off of social media because she felt like she was just lost in it. I feel the same way, but I don't know how I will occupy my time if I swear off of these connections. Sounds pathetic, right? What can I do? -- Too Much Social Media, Chicago

DEAR TOO MUCH SOCIAL MEDIA: You are correct in saying that engaging social media can be addictive. It is a very easy way to get wrapped up in other people's drama and lives. Yet it absolutely can be a distraction. I like your friend's approach. Start by taking a day off. Plan a day when you do something fun that you have always enjoyed and can do by yourself. Leave your phone at home so that you cannot get to social media even if you tried. Do the same one day at work. Do not sign on to social media on the job (a good rule generally because you should not be using social media when you should be working). Do work when you should be working.

Start making plans to see your friends in person. Use social media to contact them and make an invitation for a face-to-face meeting. Rather than becoming overcome by this creative form of technology, use it to good purpose -- for making real connections. Being single does not need to mean being alone. Get out and spend time exploring your world. Invite your friends to join you. And open your eyes to discover new friends along the way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got a call from my ex-boyfriend, who wanted me to know that his wife passed away and he wanted to see me. I used to love him so much, but we were too young to act on it. He went his way and I went mine. I never got married, though. I could go out with him again, but I'm afraid. It has been so long. Should I return his call? I would hate to get my feelings hurt. -- Old Flame, Seattle

DEAR OLD FLAME: Return his call. Meet him again. Take it slowly. Perhaps you can rekindle your friendship. Perhaps more. Live a little!