DEAR HARRIETTE: I seem to be addicted to social media. Ever since I got on Facebook a few years ago, I sign on every day, and I check in all the time. I mean, even at work I check in on Facebook and now on other social media things like Twitter and Instagram. I love taking photos and posting them. I know this probably seems juvenile, but I find it to be a fun way to connect with people. I am single and in my 40s. This way, I get to see what other people are doing and entertain myself. But I find that sometimes it is too much. Sometimes I end up staying up really late checking out what other people are doing or not getting my work done on time if I get caught up in something interesting online.

I noticed that one of my "friends" said she was taking the summer off of social media because she felt like she was just lost in it. I feel the same way, but I don't know how I will occupy my time if I swear off of these connections. Sounds pathetic, right? What can I do? -- Too Much Social Media, Chicago

DEAR TOO MUCH SOCIAL MEDIA: You are correct in saying that engaging social media can be addictive. It is a very easy way to get wrapped up in other people's drama and lives. Yet it absolutely can be a distraction. I like your friend's approach. Start by taking a day off. Plan a day when you do something fun that you have always enjoyed and can do by yourself. Leave your phone at home so that you cannot get to social media even if you tried. Do the same one day at work. Do not sign on to social media on the job (a good rule generally because you should not be using social media when you should be working). Do work when you should be working.

Start making plans to see your friends in person. Use social media to contact them and make an invitation for a face-to-face meeting. Rather than becoming overcome by this creative form of technology, use it to good purpose -- for making real connections. Being single does not need to mean being alone. Get out and spend time exploring your world. Invite your friends to join you. And open your eyes to discover new friends along the way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got a call from my ex-boyfriend, who wanted me to know that his wife passed away and he wanted to see me. I used to love him so much, but we were too young to act on it. He went his way and I went mine. I never got married, though. I could go out with him again, but I'm afraid. It has been so long. Should I return his call? I would hate to get my feelings hurt. -- Old Flame, Seattle

DEAR OLD FLAME: Return his call. Meet him again. Take it slowly. Perhaps you can rekindle your friendship. Perhaps more. Live a little!

DEAR HARRIETTE: No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get my house in order. I think I was born with a messy gene. I work on a room for hours, and it seems like hardly anything gets done. I swear that I'm trying to get organized. I just seem to move things from one place to another, rather than discarding or properly storing. I really don't want to be messy. I'm embarrassed to ask for help because I think I will be judged. What can I do? -- Too Messy for Me, Philadelphia

DEAR TOO MESSY FOR ME: The good news is that you can get help from people who do not know you and who will not judge you. There are professionals who are experts at organizing and eliminating clutter. You can find companies online. Call a few to determine who offers what you want in your price range. Between a professional organizer and a professional housekeeper, you can get your place in order. You may need to invest a little in order to do so, but it can be worth it. The housekeeper can get everything clean for you. The organizer can set up systems for you to use in your daily life so that you do not revert back to your old ways of storing your things. Invest in yourself. You are worth it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a freelance writer. I managed pretty well for about 10 years because I had several consistent clients who hired me to write for their publications. In the past year or so, it has been hard for me to get work. Or if the work is online, my pay is much lower than it was for print. Whenever I have pressed my online editors to pay me more, since I am not new to this business, I lose a client. I'm not sure how to negotiate anymore. I am really having a hard time. How do you recommend that I go about getting more work without making people angry? -- Old School, New School, Washington, D.C.

DEAR OLD SCHOOL, NEW SCHOOL: Fee structures for writers -- much like many other services -- have changed dramatically over the past 10 years -- and not generally for the better. In part, this is because the economy is more fragile than it was a decade ago. As far as writing goes, it is also, as you pointed out, because of the advent of the Internet and the many publications that exist in that space. Basically, because the cost of advertising is going down, the amount of money that writers can be offered is going down, too. It's simply business.

For this reason, you will likely never get the same fees for your work that is published online as you have received in print. The business model is different. For you to survive, you must research fees for the various publications that you want to pitch, and then be willing to accept what they have to offer. If your work is high quality and you understand the limitations and expectations of the various media outlets, you should be able to secure work at the going rates. You will have to do more to earn the same amount.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just saw a picture of myself that a friend posted online from an event where we both were last weekend. We had a really good time, and I was happy to hang out with old friends. I hate the picture though. I know I have gained some weight in recent years, but the picture showed me more than I realized. I have become a middle-aged woman with a fat belly. I was absolutely horrified to see what I look like in that photo. And I'm afraid it's too late to get in shape. I'm already past 50. I feel like I want to stay in my house and hide for the rest of my life. What can I do? -- Fat and Freaked Out, New York City

DEAR FAT AND FREAKED OUT: Photos have a way of revealing lots of things about us. I'm sorry that your recent photo upset you so much, but you can think of it as a fantastic wakeup call. You are NOT too old to get fit. Many people of all ages have made the choice to turn their lives and their bodies around. You can, too!

Start by getting a complete physical, so that you can be cleared for rigorous exercise. Commit to an exercise program. Best case would be if you could go to a regular class where a teacher guides you in your fitness regimen.

You must also change your diet. If possible, visit a nutritionist who can give you a healthy eating plan. If not, read up on healthy eating. Cut out salt, sugar and fat. You can do it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: In the past couple of weeks, my girlfriend has become distant. When I try to talk to her about it, she brushes it off. However, she has become more blunt with me about other things, such as my weight gain. She has struggled with depression, and this may just be an episode, but it's hard not to take it personally. How can I get her to open up? -- Suffering, Syracuse, New York

DEAR SUFFERING: Since you know that your girlfriend has experienced depression in the past, you are right to suspect that her current behavior could be a sign that she is experiencing depression once again. Often, when people see their own lives through a negative lens, they see everyone else in the same way.

Recommend that your girlfriend make an appointment to see her mental health care professional to check in on her health. If you know how to reach her doctor, go ahead and schedule an appointment and bring her to it. It could be that counseling or medication may help your girlfriend tremendously.

Also, tell your girlfriend how her behavior makes you feel. Explain that it hurts your feelings when she speaks harshly or judgmentally to you. Ask her to be gentler with her words. Continue by letting her know how much you care about her and that you are concerned about what's going on with her right now. Remind her that you love her and consider yourself her partner. In that role, you want to be able to walk by her side through whatever is going on.