DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently gained full-time employment, but I am a little nervous because I have not worked in an office space in three years. I need some help getting familiar with going back into the working environment again. Can you offer some advice on how I can make it an easy transition? -- Going Back to Work, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR GOING BACK TO WORK: Congratulations on securing full-time employment. That is a huge accomplishment, especially in this fragile economy. I encourage you to start by focusing on the role you have been hired to fulfill. What exactly are your job responsibilities? List them so that you can focus on them when you get to work. In preparation for your job, get your wardrobe ready. Make sure that you have the basics that you need to look professional based on your work environment.

Next, know that nothing is easy. So that should not be your desire. Instead, choose the desire to be good at what you do and to be personable with others. You do not need to make friends right away. Just be mindful of those around you. Be friendly. Listen so that you can learn. Instead of talking about yourself and the three years that you were looking for work, ask them questions. People love to talk about themselves, so that can prove to be a good distraction. When you do talk about yourself, talk about your previous employment, your hopes and dreams and your intentions for this job.

Give yourself a break. Over time, you will build natural relationships that will make it easier for you to feel comfortable. Meanwhile, do your job as effectively as you can. That is your calling card!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend -- who is 21, by the way -- constantly digs in her nose. I told her how gross that looks, and she claims that she can't breathe. That's why she is always digging. I think her mother never told her to stop. I mean, really! She will be sitting at dinner with me or even in a group and there she goes. Or she could be anywhere and just go for it. Other than this, she has impeccable manners. How can I get her to understand that this behavior is unacceptable? -- Grossed Out, Detroit

DEAR GROSSED OUT: Start by getting your girlfriend to go to an otolaryngologist (an ear, nose and throat doctor) to determine if she has any respiratory issues. She may be telling you the truth about her inability to breathe, in which case her solution will not work. Suggest that she get a medical checkup to determine how she can breathe more easily.

That said, it sounds like your girlfriend has developed a bad habit that she is not interested in stopping. Why don't you secretly film her? When you catch her on camera digging up her nose, replay the footage and let her see exactly how unbecoming her behavior is. Sometimes showing people what they look like can shake them into reality.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor is engaged to be married to a guy I have come to know over the past year. He has always seemed nice. You can imagine how upset I was when I saw him the other night at a lounge with another woman. He wasn't just with her either. He was hugged up in a corner with her, and they were kissing. I am 100 percent sure that it was the same guy. Meanwhile, the wedding date was just set for him and my neighbor. I don't know what to do. I feel like I would want to know. Should I tell my neighbor what I saw? -- Before My Very Eyes, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR BEFORE MY VERY EYES: This is a tricky situation. Often, people do not want to know about their partner's infidelity, and frequently they do not believe it when someone tells them. You must follow your heart. Following the Golden Rule, if you wish that someone would let you know if your fiance were involved with someone else, approach this situation in the same way. Tell your neighbor that you want to share some disturbing information with her. Then reveal the details of what you witnessed. Answer whatever questions your neighbor may have, and then walk away. Do not get caught up in the aftermath of her learning this information. She will have to decide her next steps. Whatever they are, that is her business. Do not judge her if she stays with him. She has to live her own life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just learned that I was offered a one-week job that is an incredible opportunity. The problem is that the hours are really long, and I have a young child. I can't afford a baby sitter to come to my house before dawn and stay all day. The only thing I can think of is to ask my mom to come to stay with my daughter while I am on this gig, but I feel kind of guilty about that, too. My mom is 80 years old. She is in good health, but she lives in another state. So I would have to get her to my house, and I just wonder if that is too much to ask. I really need the money from this gig. Do you think I should ask my mom and see what she says? -- In Need, Richmond, Virginia

DEAR IN NEED: If you believe that your mother is in good enough health to watch your daughter during this period, it is a smart idea to ask for her help. She loves your daughter, and it could create a bonding moment for the two of them as it helps you. Ask her and see what she says.

If she cannot help you out, think creatively. Do you have any friends in your town who might be able to keep your daughter for a sleepover either all week or divided among them? People often step up to help when you ask.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My fiancee has gone back to graduate school to get her master's degree in nutrition. I am happy that she has found her purpose in life. She would like me to go back to school to get a degree in something that I like. I am not too sure if I want to go back to college because I am comfortable working for the U.S. Postal Service. She wants us to grow together both mentally and spiritually, and my biggest fear is that my fiancee will call off the wedding because I did not go back to college. I do not believe college is for everyone. Do I tell her that I am happy at my current job? -- Complacent Man, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR COMPLACENT MAN: You and your fiancee need to start having heart-to-heart talks about your hopes and dreams. Figure out together what interests you share and how you complement each other. It could be perfect for your fiancee to pursue her education while you hold it down with your steady job. If that's what you prefer, you need to make that clear. Speak up about your desires. Be courageous about describing what you want and like about life, even if that means that your pace is quite different from hers.

You will be honoring yourselves and your potential union by figuring out before you walk to the altar whether you are truly compatible. Getting a master's degree is a great accomplishment, but it is not a ticket to a happy marriage. Being on the same page about how you guide your life together is.

DEAR HARRIETTE: "Defiant" was upset because his date insisted on taking pictures at a party where none were allowed. I have a friend who has an elegant house with expensive furnishings. Since people were so enthused and posting pictures on the Internet, her insurance agent informed her that they could not safeguard her premises adequately unless she banned photographs. So she did.

We were informed before we got there that pictures were not allowed, but somebody took one. Our hostess was ready. She asked for the camera, then all cameras and cell phones. They were all placed in a lovely basket and locked in a cupboard. Everyone got their equipment back at the end of the party.

The next time I went there, a young person in the crowd spoke up and said, "Don't take a picture or she will take all of our cellphones." Nobody ever did.

Defiant should have confiscated his date's camera and that would have ended the debate for the evening. Even the NSA doesn't take pictures inside our houses. -- No Paparazzi Please, Chicago

DEAR NO PAPARAZZI PLEASE: What a smart and creative approach to managing social media in your home or any private location. You can confiscate the devices in order to ensure -- or at least mostly prevent -- photos from being taken and disseminated. Just make it a policy, and don't back down.