DEAR HARRIETTE: My fiancee has gone back to graduate school to get her master's degree in nutrition. I am happy that she has found her purpose in life. She would like me to go back to school to get a degree in something that I like. I am not too sure if I want to go back to college because I am comfortable working for the U.S. Postal Service. She wants us to grow together both mentally and spiritually, and my biggest fear is that my fiancee will call off the wedding because I did not go back to college. I do not believe college is for everyone. Do I tell her that I am happy at my current job? -- Complacent Man, Brooklyn, New York
DEAR COMPLACENT MAN: You and your fiancee need to start having heart-to-heart talks about your hopes and dreams. Figure out together what interests you share and how you complement each other. It could be perfect for your fiancee to pursue her education while you hold it down with your steady job. If that's what you prefer, you need to make that clear. Speak up about your desires. Be courageous about describing what you want and like about life, even if that means that your pace is quite different from hers.
You will be honoring yourselves and your potential union by figuring out before you walk to the altar whether you are truly compatible. Getting a master's degree is a great accomplishment, but it is not a ticket to a happy marriage. Being on the same page about how you guide your life together is.