DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently learned that a longtime acquaintance who I really like has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Everyone around her is freaked out, as is expected. While I have never been one of the people who called her regularly, she knows, or at least she knew, that I care about her. I want to show my respect now. Really, I want to help. She has been married for many years, and her husband can be difficult. I want to tell him that I am here for them, but I am not sure how. I keep thinking that she may just want a little company from time to time. What should I do? -- Wanting to Help, Detroit

DEAR WANTING TO HELP: Start by contacting your friend's husband. He may have been difficult in the past, but illness has a way of transforming people. If you let him know that you care about his wife and want to be of support to them, he may be open to the idea. Be specific. Tell him that you would love to see her and spend time with her if that is appropriate. Ask if he needs anything. Often, caregivers need pockets of support that could include spending time with the afflicted while they have a moment of downtime or have a chance to run errands.

Even if he does not respond favorably, stay in touch. Alzheimer's is an insidious disease, and caregivers will need ongoing support in the coming months and years. If you want to sign up to help for the long haul -- to the best of your ability -- let him know and stay in touch with him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have gained a lot of weight since we met. I don't want to say how much. Let's just say that I was considered model size and now I would definitely be called full-figured -- if somebody was trying to be nice. My husband is bigger than me. I am afraid that we will get some kind of disease if we don't control our weight. I have mentioned this to my guy, but he doesn't want to listen to me. I don't know what to do. Well, that's not exactly true. I don't know how to make myself work out or eat differently. I love our life, but I am worried that it will be cut short if we don't lose about 50 pounds or so -- each. Help! -- Fat but Focused, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR FAT BUT FOCUSED: Rather than trying to scare yourself or your husband into good behavior, take the positive approach. Introduce healthy activities and meals. Get up early in the morning and choose to walk three times a week. Invite your husband to walk with you; you can even consider it a date. But do it no matter what.

Begin to shop differently. Don't buy sweets or salty foods. Buy fruits and vegetables and fewer pasta items and processed foods. Tell your husband that you want the two of you to live long lives and your choices will help to that end. Give your plan a few months to jell.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I took our 10-year-old son to sleepaway camp for the first time, and it was difficult to let him go. We have never been away from him for more than a night when he has gone for a sleepover at a friend's house down the street. Now he is going to be away for two weeks. He is thrilled, as he should be. We know that he will be OK, but we will miss him terribly.

The problem, though, is us. We've done hardly anything together since our son was born. We used to go on dates and enjoy our marriage. That seems to have died long ago. I worry about how we are going to spend our time together. In the past, when we weren't working, we could have fun together. The thing is, we don't have fun these days -- these years, in fact. We bicker a lot. How can we turn a squabbling time into something fun for us as a couple? -- Boringly Married, Cambridge, Massachusetts

DEAR BORINGLY MARRIED: Could you possibly be ready for what some call the "Come to Jesus" meeting, when you lay your cards on the table and talk about your marriage? If you bicker all the time and can't imagine life with your husband without your child, chances are you will end up either without each other or miserable when the time comes that your son moves away.

If you have the courage, go for it and figure out how to have a heartfelt conversation with your husband about your life. Rather than threatening him, consider staging an activity that you both will enjoy. Think about your shared interests and plan a fun date. Before that date ends -- and when you are sober -- tell your husband that you want to refresh your relationship. Tell him you love him and want to figure out where your happiness lies today.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I met a young woman in the lunchroom at my job. She was so happy and personable that we struck up a conversation. It turns out she has worked at my company for just a few months. She is bright but doesn't have her act together. She was dressed like she was going to a dance rather than to work. She also had pretty bad grammar for someone in the role she was hired to do. I am afraid that if she doesn't polish up her act, she will be fired. I want to help her, but she does not work for me. What can I do? -- Concerned Corporate Vet, New York City

DEAR CONCERNED CORPORATE VET: This may be your lucky day -- and hers. You sound like a mentor in the making. A mentor is someone who shares knowledge and insight with someone who is climbing the ranks, who has potential but can use some guidance. A mentor offers that input in ways that can be heard and imbibed. Seek this young woman out and offer to support her in this way. Then get to work!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter, who is in the fifth grade, has two suitors. No, I'm not kidding. She came home to tell me how uncomfortable she was because she wasn't sure how to talk to both boys at the same time. They were all at a birthday party recently, and the boys were vying for her attention. She says it was fun, but also a little weird, because she likes one boy but doesn't want to hurt the other one's feelings. I felt so happy that she came to me with this situation. I want to be able to help her, but I also know that she has to learn herself how to handle boys' attention. What should I tell her? -- Growing Up, Baltimore

DEAR GROWING UP: Welcome to the wonderful world of dating -- well, more accurately, welcome to the world of attraction. While you cannot give your daughter a prescription for how to navigate these two boys as they talk to her, you can give your guidance. First, let her know that it is very nice that the boys find her interesting. She should consider that a positive. She should remember to treat them, and others, as she would like to be treated. That may mean paying attention when one is talking to her, responding to questions when asked, participating in dialogue -- basically being present. When one boy interrupts another, she can attempt to manage that by saying, "Hold on, let X finish what he was saying." Then she can turn to the other after he is finished. Let her know that it is much easier to communicate one-on-one with boys, especially when they are attracted to her. Finally, she should be mindful not to ignore the one she does not favor. Remain cordial to everyone. They can still be friends.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently I haven't felt like getting out of bed or doing anything. I just feel blah. I have been struggling for so long to recover from losing my job two years ago. I do freelance work, but often I am broke. I can hardly pay my bills, and I'm always negotiating with a creditor to not cut me off because I'm late. I'm tired of all of it and just want to hide. I know I'm smart, but that hasn't gotten me anywhere. I feel like I just want to move back home with my parents, even though I'm an adult. Maybe if I don't have the pressure of so many bills, it might be easier for me to get my act together. They offered, but I'm afraid. What should I do? -- Near the Brink, Seattle

DEAR NEAR THE BRINK: You may be suffering from depression. I highly recommend that you get some mental health support right now, before you pick up and do anything. Talk to a professional who can help you sort through your thoughts. You can call Crisis Clinic at 866-4-CRISIS (866-427-4747).

The struggle of losing a job and attempting unsuccessfully to rebuild your life can take its toll. I wouldn't rule out moving back home, even if it is temporary. If you can shave away bills, that may help you to focus on finding a job without some of the financial pressure.