DEAR HARRIETTE: My 14-year-old daughter has recently gained a lot of weight and does not fit into her clothes. She has developed bad eating habits and does not get enough physical activity. I want to intervene because I am scared that this will become out of control, and it is really unhealthy. Every time I bring up topics like food and health, it always turns into an argument, and she runs out of the room in tears. How do I confront her about this nicely? How do I get her to want to be fit and eat right? I feel like the more I bug her about it, the more she wants to eat and go against everything I say. -- Concerned Parent, Austin, Texas

DEAR CONCERNED PARENT: Start with a visit to the pediatrician. Call the doctor in advance and express your concerns. Ask the doctor to do a thorough exam and give your daughter advice, should he deem it necessary.

The doctor may recommend that you get a therapist for your daughter to help identify what triggered her weight gain and lethargy. Though your daughter may not talk to you, a professional may be able to engage her.

Next, I suggest that you change your language, which will change your thinking. Consider your communication with your daughter as a conversation, rather than a confrontation. No one wants to be confronted, so the natural reaction is rejection. Engage your daughter in conversation. Learn about how she's managing in school, how she's getting along with her friends -- generally, what's going on in her life. Listen for negative influences that may be of concern.

Finally, live the way you want your daughter to live. Exercise regularly and invite her to join you. Only bring healthy foods and snacks into your home. Show her what healthy living is.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I want to have a kid, but he is a heavy smoker. I quit a few years ago, knowing that I would want to have children someday. I have been trying to get him to quit, but it has been hard because he is not as focused as he should be. I refuse to raise a child with a smoker in the house. We want to start a family, but I will not do that until he proves to me that he is fully committed. I am nervous that he will not quit smoking and we will not be able to have the family that we have always dreamed about. -- Nervous Wife, Portland, Oregon

DEAR NERVOUS WIFE: You have every reason to be concerned. According to the American Lung Association, fetuses still in the womb can be negatively affected by secondhand smoke, often leading to low birth weight, among other challenges. What's more, even before pregnancy, men who are smokers can suffer from low sperm count or sperm that are damaged and less likely to make it to conception.

Share this information with your husband. Tell him how much you want to start a family. Ask if he still wants to do so. Then tell him that he must get the help he needs in order to kick this nasty habit. For ideas on how, visit: pregnant.thebump.com/pregnancy/first-trimester/qa/ways-to-get-partner-to-quit-smoking.aspx.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter has been to about 40 bar mitzvahs this school year. This weekend happens to be her good friend's bat mitzvah. This is supposed to be the last one of the school year because everyone leaves for sleepaway camp next weekend. Yesterday, my daughter told me that she was not in the mood to go to another one this weekend because she is sick of them and just wants to relax at home. I agree that she needs rest, but she has already responded that she will be in attendance. I think that it is wrong to not show up, especially because she is pretty good friends with this girl. We also already bought her a gift. What is the right thing to do? -- Conflicted Parent, White Plains, New York

DEAR CONFLICTED PARENT: Burnout from the rotation of celebratory parties is real. Many teenagers talk about how overwhelming it can feel. Never mind the parents who are funding gifts for so many of these events. Still, it is important for your daughter to understand the importance of honoring her commitments.

Urge her to attend the party. Remind her that this is her good friend whom she doesn't want to disappoint. Point out as well that summer fun is just around the corner. She has this one last responsibility -- where she will have a great time once she gets there -- and then she can relax. Follow up by getting her to the event.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a full-time college student, and I am having a hard time doing my assignments when I go home. My classes usually end around 8 p.m. I have an hour commute home on the train, so it is after 9 p.m. when I finally arrive at my apartment. My intention is to do my homework once I get home, but for the past two weeks, I have been going to bed around 10:30 p.m. I do not know why I am going to bed so quickly, but I need to come up with a way I can do my assignments in a timely manner without needing to go to bed as soon as I get home. -- Sleepyhead, Bronx, New York

DEAR SLEEPYHEAD: Start with a schedule. Plan to complete one element of your homework on the commute home. It could be reading a textbook, solving math equations or other work. When you get home, give yourself another hour to complete another aspect of your homework. Then get a good night's rest. Wake up early and complete your homework from the previous night.

You haven't said what your daytime responsibilities are, but I will assume that if you are going to school at night, you must be working or otherwise occupied during the day. That means that your mornings may be very early. Once you develop the discipline of waking up in a timely manner, you should be able to use your freshly rested brain to support all of your work. Make that your intention.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a woman in my late 20s, and most of my friends are getting married and starting their lives. Meanwhile, I am still single, and it seems that no significant other is in sight! I always envisioned myself being married by now, so I feel a little disappointed. It's hard seeing my friends getting married and having a lifetime partner when I feel so alone. Furthermore, I'm scared that I'm going to feel even more isolated because the married couples will only socialize with one another and forget about me. How do I enjoy this period in my friends' lives and move forward with them while also moving forward at my own pace? -- Moving Behind, New York City

DEAR MOVING BEHIND: Life cycles do not always happen at the same pace for everyone in a group. And it can be incredibly difficult when one feels like a late bloomer. You are wise to understand that your relationship dynamics may change a bit as your friends marry. This does not mean that you will lose your friends. It does mean that you should expand your social parameters. Figure out interests you have that require you to be in social settings. Go to places where men go, men who like the same kinds of things that you like. This is important because if you don't put yourself out there, you will not be in the company of potential suitors.

Give yourself time to discover your interests as an adult. Do your best not to envy your friends. Instead, share in their joy as you also spread your wings and enjoy your life as it is. What's amazing is that often when people relax into themselves, they attract exactly who and what they need in their lives.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A year ago, my boyfriend of three years and I moved in together. He is a great guy, and I'm very happy, but there's just one small problem; he doesn't help around the house at all! I know he's the guy and all, but this is the 21st century. I feel like his maid. I make dinner, clean the dishes, do the laundry and so much more. It would be nice if he could help me with these chores once in a while. I've slyly mentioned before how I would appreciate his help, but I don't think he thinks it's as big of a deal to me as it truly is. I don't want to break up with him by any means, but I also don't want to be a housekeeper for the rest of my life! -- Maid or Girlfriend, San Diego

DEAR MAID OR GIRLFRIEND: A huge challenge for roommates, whether they are a couple or not, is setting ground rules for household chores. Because this doesn't often happen before you live together, it can get complicated after. However, it's not too late to set things straight.

Ask your boyfriend to have a "family" meeting. Tell him that you are uncomfortable with the division of labor, or lack thereof, in your home. Tell him directly that you need him to take on specific responsibilities in your home on a day and weekly basis. If he balks, continue to talk about it. Make it clear that you did not sign up to do everything, and you expect him to participate.