DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been married for five years. For the last three, we have been trying to have a baby, but with little success. I've had one miscarriage, which broke both of our hearts. I really want a child, but I'm feeling hopeless. We are considering looking into in vitro fertilization or other options, but are apprehensive due to it being very costly and not guaranteed to work. What do you think I should do? A part of me is also nervous to go to the doctor out of fear that there is something wrong with me and I won't ever be able to conceive. -- Baby on the Brain, Philadelphia

DEAR BABY ON THE BRAIN: What you dread the most is what you must do immediately -- go to the doctor. A complete physical examination will help you know what's going on in your body. If you need any medical attention or assistance, your doctor should be able to figure that out. Your OB-GYN can also help you determine whether you and your husband are viable candidates for IVF. While there are no guarantees that your doctor can make, you can get support and recommendations for next steps.

You may also want to consider holistic support. I had a miscarriage three years before I had my daughter. One of my healthcare professionals was a Chinese medical doctor and acupuncturist. Through allopathic and homeopathic support, I was able to conceive and bear a child. Perhaps this can be true for you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently returned from studying abroad in Ireland. While I was there, I met a boy whom I began to date. I really like him and think we could have a future. The only problem is, we live in two different countries and have completely different ways of life. However, when I left, we decided we were going to continue to talk and see where our relationship goes.

My friends and family all think I am crazy for holding onto this relationship, but my heart tells me differently. How do I tell naysayers that while I appreciate their opinions, I have to see this relationship through for myself? We both graduate in a year and would be willing to relocate for each other. Am I crazy for wanting this relationship to work? -- Distant Love, Westchester, New York

DEAR DISTANT LOVE: Nobody can live your life for you. If you and this young man believe that you have a chance at a future together, give yourselves that chance and see what happens. Continue to talk to your beau about your dreams. Since you say that you have different lives, include in your talks what you imagine your life to be like as an adult and potentially as a couple. Learn what you have in common. Talk about the life you want to live.

Practically speaking, figure out where you two can live and find work. In this way, you can grow your careers and discover each other at the same time. If it works, great. If not, you can feel happy that you gave your love a chance.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor was going off about how he's not going to buy his fifth-grade daughter a cellphone because he thinks it's ridiculous for a child that young to have one. We were riding up in the elevator with him -- we, meaning my fourth-grade daughter and I. We just listened. It wasn't a time to say anything. He was just blowing off steam. But it was awkward because my daughter has a cellphone. It has limited functionality, but she has one because we thought it was a safety option we wanted for our only child with two parents working.

My daughter wanted to talk about it, saying she felt sorry for the other girl because her father sounded so strict. She wasn't quite sure how to take the whole conversation. I want to give her context. How can I do that without passing judgment anywhere? -- The Blasted Cellphone, Detroit

DEAR THE BLASTED CELLPHONE: First, remember why you gave your daughter a phone so young and evaluate whether you stand by your reasons. If so, continue. Talk to your daughter and remind her of the reasons you chose to give her a phone. Remind her of the importance of being responsible for knowing where it is and how to use it. Then tell her that every family is different. This is why we listen sometimes when people speak rather than make comments. That family has not made the same choice as yours. No need to bring that up to them. Live your life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is 16 years old. She wants to have her belly button pierced because she is feeling pressure from her friends at school to get it done. I would prefer that she get her belly button pierced when she is at least 20 years old. My daughter is a good girl, and I do not want her to succumb to the unwanted peer pressure. What is a good age for a young person to get a body piercing? --Mama Knows Best, Chicago

DEAR MAMA KNOWS BEST: Timing for piercings is completely personal. Just as with ear piercings for children, some parents believe in piercing infants' ears because it hurts less or it's part of a family ritual. Others believe children should wait until they are 12 or 13 and capable of caring for the ears as they heal and being responsible for the cleaning of the earrings.

Similarly, with other body piercings, opinions vary. Personally, I err on the conservative side in the sense that a person should be responsible enough to care for such a piercing. But also, I would step back to think about the message it sends. A navel piercing at such a young age, in my estimation, draws the wrong kind of attention from boys. Just as you are hard-pressed to encourage your daughter to make wise and modest decisions about intimacy, it may not be the smartest decision to allow a piercing in that part of the body.

Further, succumbing to peer pressure is rarely a smart choice for young people or adults. If your daughter cannot articulate a sound reason why she herself wants this piercing, then I would recommend replacing that procedure with something less permanent and more age-appropriate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband was recently laid off from a big law firm in New York. We have three children, and I am a stay-at-home mom. He is trying to find places that are hiring, but he is not doing well. One of our kids is off to college next year, and we do not have enough money to live like we have been since we need to pay for college. It has been very hard on the family, and the financial tensions cause many fights. It has been a rough couple of months, and I do not know if I can take it much longer. What is the best way to manage this situation without ruining our relationship? -- Stressed Mother and Wife, Manhattan, New York

DEAR STRESSED MOTHER AND WIFE: Sit down with your husband to discuss your finances and to come up with a plan. Maybe you will need to get a job. Perhaps your college-bound child will need to get financial aid. Be practical as you consider your options. If you can address them as a team, you create space for respect and support through what will likely be an agonizing period for quite some time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter just confronted me about wanting to go on birth control so she can have sex with her boyfriend. They are seniors in high school. I think that they are too young, but I don't want her to go behind my back and go unprotected. I'm scared that if I say no, then she will have sex anyway, no matter what I say. I feel that by giving in and letting her get the birth control, I am letting her have sex when I really am not OK with it. What is the best way to approach this situation? -- Scared Mom, Los Angeles

DEAR SCARED MOM: This is a very tough challenge that many parents face. On the one hand, you want to reinforce your values; on the other, you want to protect your daughter should she decide to move forward with her plan. One good thing to note is that she asked for your help in getting birth control. She did not have to do that. She could have gone to a clinic and gotten them on her own.

So, start by thanking her for bringing this topic up with you. Tell her how uncomfortable it makes you feel that she is making this decision at this time. Ask her to tell you why she feels that the time is now. Why does she feel ready? Ask her about her relationship with her boyfriend. Is it a committed relationship, as much as a high school bond can generally be? Ask if he has had sex before, and if she has. Talk to her about why you wish she would wait longer. Be specific without being judgmental.

Ultimately, if you believe she is going to have sex, take her to a gynecologist who can talk to her about her body in more detail and allow her the birth control. Be sure, however, that she knows she must also use condoms to avoid contracting STDs, including HIV.