DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a crush on my best friend. I am unsure if he has gotten the hint, but he has started to act weird around me. We have been friends for four years, and I could not imagine not having him in my life. It scares me when I think about not being friends with him anymore. I tell him everything. My friends think that I should tell him how I feel. I am nervous; I think that if I do tell him, he will stop talking to me because he won't know what to say or how to act around me. I really like him, and even if we just stay friends, I would be OK with that. How should I approach this situation? -- Nervous, Boston

DEAR NERVOUS: Take a deep breath and collect yourself. I believe your friends have a point. Since your best friend has changed his behavior around you recently, there must be a reason for that. Rather than trying to second-guess what that is, you can be forthright with him.

Tell him that you want to talk about something sensitive. With his blessing, go on and explain that you have developed feelings for him and are unsure how to proceed. Tell him how much you value your friendship and that you do not want to jeopardize that for anything. At the same time, reveal that if he shares your interest, you would like to see what happens if you start dating. Make it clear that if he just wants to be friends, you are good with that, too.

Being honest about your feelings should help to ease the tension, regardless of the outcome.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in high school, and I get pushed into drama all the time. Now I have my own drama. There is this guy I like who goes to my school, but I also like another one who I used to like in middle school. I have different reasons for liking each one, but I don't know what to do. Please help. -- Helplessly in Love, Pace, Florida

DEAR HELPLESSLY IN LOVE: Slow down. You are in high school, and it's perfectly normal that you haven't made a decision yet as to who will be your beau for life. If one of these boys expresses interest in you, pay attention to him first. Get to know him better to see if you share interests. Agree to spend time together.

If the other boy also invites you to do things with him, you are free to do that as well. Take your time to get to know him, too. Do not tell either boy that you are exclusive. And do not cross any intimate boundaries as you are getting to know them. When it is clear to you that you prefer one over the other, you may want to choose to focus your attention on him. If and when that happens, gracefully tell the other boy that you do not want to date him anymore. Being kind when transitioning out of a relationship is critical to maintaining respectful bonds.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife of 30 years cut me off from all loving five years ago for no reason. I am 70 years old, and I still have 100 percent of my sexual ability. Do you think my wife has a boyfriend or someone else? I've read that a woman who has cheated can no longer have sex and enjoy it like she did previously. The Bible says if a person causes another person to sin, she is guilty for it. What can I do? -- Need Some Lovin', Taylorville, Illinois

DEAR NEED SOME LOVIN': I think you should invite your wife out for a romantic dinner. Suggest that she order her favorite foods. Listen to her conversation. Be fully present with her. Tell her that you love her and appreciate her and look forward to spending the next 30 years of your lives together. Ask her what you can do that would make her feel great. Use this romantic moment to be a great listener.

If she is open to conversation, ask her what you can do to get her interested in intimacy again. Tell her that you miss that part of your relationship and want to figure out how to rekindle the romantic spirit.

While it is possible that your wife has someone else, it is equally if not more likely that her libido has slowed down. You can ask her why she chooses not to be intimate with you anymore. Be prepared to listen to her answer. As you encourage her to change her mind, do not behave forcefully. That will not win her back.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 28 years old and have already been married and divorced. My divorce was just finalized, but we have been separated for more than 1 1/2 years. I think I'm ready to date again, but I'm also extremely apprehensive. I'm so used to being in a serious, committed relationship that I'm not sure how to just date around anymore. Also, my divorce was a big part of my life, but I know I shouldn't talk about it with potential dates. How can I be honest about my past without drawing attention to it? -- Single and Ready to Mingle, New York City

DEAR SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE: Save the discussion about your marriage and divorce for your therapist and good friends. Get yourself out there and do the things you love that involve socializing with others. When you meet someone interesting and eventually go on a date, keep it light. Learn about him by asking questions and listening carefully. When it's your turn, be honest, but do not dump your whole marriage story on anyone in the first meeting. You are single. You can call yourself that. If you end up liking someone, you can share more details about your past.

For now, focus on what qualities you admire in a partner and speak about them. Ask your suitor what he admires in a potential partner. By speaking honestly about your desires, you can learn whether someone is deserving of learning more about you as you discover more about him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am one of four sisters in my family. I am the second youngest. My baby sister and I have always had an intense sibling rivalry, mostly on her end. She is manipulative, competitive and undermining. Despite our rivalry, I have always been closest to her because we are 20 months apart and now live in the same city. Recently, we got into a huge argument and have not spoken for four months. When we get into arguments, I am always the one to apologize. This time, however, I feel I have done nothing wrong and do not believe I owe her an apology. I'm tired of being the bigger person. I miss her presence and the comfort of having a sister, but I do not miss her toxicity. How do I tell her that while I do miss her and want her to be in my life, I can no longer deal with her catty ways? -- Sister, Sister, San Diego

DEAR SISTER, SISTER: You must remind yourself that you are a grown woman with the ability to make your own decisions free of your past. This is essential, because you and your sister remain locked into old family patterns. In order to have a healthy relationship with each other, you both have to choose to be adults in your communication. Resist the temptation to fall back on old ways of interacting.

Rather than offering an apology, request a meeting with your sister where you talk about starting over and letting go of the past. Do not blame each other for anything. Instead, tell your sister that you miss her and want her in your life. Ask her to work with you to establish more stable, respectful footing where you can thrive together. It will take time to develop new patterns, but it is possible with patience and love.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been out of work for more than a year, and it's getting old for my friends and me. They have been super supportive, but recently they have been coming up with too many ideas for how I can get a job. I know they mean well, but it's making my head swim, and the ideas they have are for things I'm not qualified to do. I appreciate their care for me, but how can I help to direct their energies away from all of this advice? I ask because they follow up, asking me if I have inquired about their leads, but mostly I haven't because the opportunities have nothing to do with my abilities. -- Stretched Too Thin, Gallup, New Mexico

DEAR STRETCHED TOO THIN: Thank your friends for their support. Be specific about all that they have done for you. Tell them what you are doing to attempt to secure work. Make a collective thank you to them for the job leads they have sent your way. Make it clear that some of them have been outside your breadth of experience. In those cases, you have chosen not to apply.

I would also consider applying for some of the jobs that seem beyond your reach on occasion. You never know. Your friends may see something in you that you do not.