DEAR HARRIETTE: My 10-year-old daughter has been begging to watch "Mean Girls." All of her friends have seen it, even though it is PG-13. My husband and I do not want to expose her to movies like this yet because we think she is still too young. She is a bit immature, and we are nervous that she will not really understand what is going on in the movie. We did not let our oldest daughter watch PG-13 movies until she was actually 13, so we do not want to change the rules. Every time she asks, it turns into an argument. We feel bad punishing her, but we think that is the only way she will learn not to beg for things when we say no. What should we do? -- Strict Parents, Manhattan, New York

DEAR STRICT PARENTS: You are dealing with a number of issues here. First, recent studies suggest that PG-13 movies tend to feature more violence than some R-rated movies, which feature more sexual behavior. Showing violence to children is not recommended, of course.

That said, your daughter is likely to be exposed to both violence and mean girls in her young life. Your job as a parent is to teach her how to behave when it happens. Watching the film "Mean Girls" with her can provide an opportunity for you to talk to her about appropriate and inappropriate behavior. You can talk candidly about what happens when children bully others. This can be a valuable learning experience.

As far as changing the rules with your younger child, do know that it is common for this to happen with families. Your younger child is naturally exposed to more experiences because she has an older sibling. You may need to adjust accordingly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I want to go on a vacation for our 15th anniversary. My dream vacation is to go to the Caribbean, but my husband loves to ski. I really do not like to ski because I got into a skiing accident years ago. We cannot make a mutual decision on where to go, which has caused an argument. This is supposed to be something fun and relaxing, but it has turned stressful and awkward. We should be celebrating our marriage, not fighting about where to go on a vacation. I'm nervous that we will not agree on a vacation spot and we will continue to fight about this. I think this is a stupid argument, but he is not giving up. -- Stressed Wife, Los Angeles

DEAR STRESSED WIFE: Go back to your husband and talk about a compromise. What would you both enjoy that is not an either-or situation? After 15 years of marriage, you need to be able to negotiate an experience that will satisfy you both. Make the decision together that you can do that, and then figure it out. Enjoy the process by encouraging each other to think creatively.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm about to enter my freshman year of college, and I'm already thinking about what I'll do next summer. My parents want me to get an internship to pad my resume for when it's time for me to get a serious job. However, I want to return to the sleepaway camp I went to as a kid and be a counselor. I figure I have the rest of my life to work, so why not have fun for one summer? I don't know how to tell my parents this, and I'm scared they'll be mad and stressed that I am at a disadvantage when getting a real job. What do you think I should do? -- Real World Too Soon, Greenwich, Connecticut

DEAR REAL WORLD TOO SOON: Take a deep breath. The first thing you need to do is focus on school. Your freshman year in college promises to be more challenging and very different from high school. Give yourself a chance to acclimate to college life and the rigors of your academic workload.

Talk to your adviser at school about your interests, and learn if there are any summer internship opportunities that may interest you. Keep track of the deadline for your summer camp. When you get closer to having to make a decision, discuss your thoughts with your adviser and your parents. You and your parents have valid ideas. I can tell you that any job experience that you can gain that is focused on your future life choices is wise whenever possible.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are seven months pregnant. As I get closer to my due date, I have found myself becoming more and more anxious about becoming a mom! I'm an only child, and I have limited experience working with kids. My husband assures me that once our baby is born, my maternal instincts will kick in, but I'm not so sure. I've always wanted and loved kids, but I have no idea how to be a mom. What can I do to make myself feel ready for my baby before he or she gets here? -- Expecting, Seattle

DEAR EXPECTING: You are in good company, my dear! Even for first-time moms with siblings, trepidation is common because it is hard to know what to anticipate. Talk to your doctor about any medical questions you may have. Identify a pediatrician so that you are ready for when your son or daughter is born. Ask that doctor as many questions as you can think of in order to get ready. A wonderful resource book I read when I was pregnant was "What to Expect When You're Expecting." It outlines in great detail what you should know from birth up to age 5.

Be sure to talk to friends and family members with children. Observe them first, though, to ensure that you are in alignment with the choices they have made. Finally, trust your instincts. Among you and your husband and your network of support, you will learn how to care for your child.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is graduating from eighth grade and about to enter high school. I remember what high school was like, and I don't think she's mature enough for those experiences. I don't want her to experiment with drinking or be promiscuous, but I understand it's a part of high school culture. How do I talk to her about all the new situations she will encounter without making myself seem too overbearing? -- Mama Bear, Washington, D.C.

DEAR MAMA BEAR: I hope that you began talking to your daughter about the ins and outs of growing up long before now. For all parents who are reading, know that you should begin conversations about sex, drugs, drinking and relationships when your kids are in elementary school, well before they are likely to experiment. It is then that you can most easily plant the seeds of your family's values.

That said, I recommend that you sit down and have a candid conversation with your daughter. Ask her about her hopes and dreams for high school. Ask her also what her fears might be. Find out whether any of her friends have experimented with drinking or drugs yet. Does anyone already have a love interest? Talk to her about the fact that these things often come up in high school. Have her tell you how she might react if presented with any of those options. Pledge to her that you will be there for her as she enters this next stage in her life. Let her know that you would like to be able to support her whenever she has a question or a need.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two kids, ages 13 and 10. When the youngest was born, I stopped working and have been a stay-at-home mom ever since. However, I am extremely bored and unfulfilled. What am I supposed to do, clean the house every day? I want to start working again, but I feel the job market has radically changed since I was last employed. How can I put myself back on the job market and ensure that I am aware of the changes in the workplace that come with time? -- Housewife, Chicago

DEAR HOUSEWIFE: Start by writing a preliminary resume that lists all of the skills you have developed over the years. Include the strategic thinking that comes from being a mom. Consider going to your local unemployment office for support in crafting your resume so that it reflects your strengths in a marketable way.

Think about what you want to do when you re-enter the workforce. Consider volunteering at a business that does what attracts you. Building job experience through volunteerism is an effective means of buoying your skill base. You may also want to take classes in your field of interest so that you can learn whatever is cutting edge in that field. Then, get yourself out there and network. Meet people who work in your field of interest. Go for it!