DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is graduating from eighth grade and about to enter high school. I remember what high school was like, and I don't think she's mature enough for those experiences. I don't want her to experiment with drinking or be promiscuous, but I understand it's a part of high school culture. How do I talk to her about all the new situations she will encounter without making myself seem too overbearing? -- Mama Bear, Washington, D.C.

DEAR MAMA BEAR: I hope that you began talking to your daughter about the ins and outs of growing up long before now. For all parents who are reading, know that you should begin conversations about sex, drugs, drinking and relationships when your kids are in elementary school, well before they are likely to experiment. It is then that you can most easily plant the seeds of your family's values.

That said, I recommend that you sit down and have a candid conversation with your daughter. Ask her about her hopes and dreams for high school. Ask her also what her fears might be. Find out whether any of her friends have experimented with drinking or drugs yet. Does anyone already have a love interest? Talk to her about the fact that these things often come up in high school. Have her tell you how she might react if presented with any of those options. Pledge to her that you will be there for her as she enters this next stage in her life. Let her know that you would like to be able to support her whenever she has a question or a need.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two kids, ages 13 and 10. When the youngest was born, I stopped working and have been a stay-at-home mom ever since. However, I am extremely bored and unfulfilled. What am I supposed to do, clean the house every day? I want to start working again, but I feel the job market has radically changed since I was last employed. How can I put myself back on the job market and ensure that I am aware of the changes in the workplace that come with time? -- Housewife, Chicago

DEAR HOUSEWIFE: Start by writing a preliminary resume that lists all of the skills you have developed over the years. Include the strategic thinking that comes from being a mom. Consider going to your local unemployment office for support in crafting your resume so that it reflects your strengths in a marketable way.

Think about what you want to do when you re-enter the workforce. Consider volunteering at a business that does what attracts you. Building job experience through volunteerism is an effective means of buoying your skill base. You may also want to take classes in your field of interest so that you can learn whatever is cutting edge in that field. Then, get yourself out there and network. Meet people who work in your field of interest. Go for it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter has been getting bullied in school. She just turned 11. She is a bit slow in school because she has dyslexia, but she is able to function well in a normal classroom setting. The other girls in her class often make fun of her because she is a slow reader and writer; they do not understand that she is learning impaired. The teachers have not been involved, and I am hurt that my daughter is so upset when she comes home from school. I have tried calling the school, but it has not been helpful at all. Should I go directly to the parents of these children? -- Upset and Worried, Manhattan, New York

DEAR UPSET AND WORRIED: Schedule an appointment with your daughter's teacher, guidance counselor and the principal. Get someone to respond. At the meeting, explain what your daughter's condition is and what support you need the school to offer her. Let the officials know that other children are ridiculing her and crushing her feelings. Ask them to be more observant so that they can support her during moments of bullying.

Find out if you can get an educational adjustment program (EAP) for your daughter that will provide additional help for her special needs.

If the school remains unwilling to help you, consider changing schools. Your daughter deserves to attend a school that will pay attention to her needs and help other students to be mindful. As far as going to the other parents, that is often tricky. Without the backup of the educators to help reinforce good behavior, it could easily turn into your daughter's word against their children's.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just finished my freshman year of college, which I found to be very academically and socially challenging. I had difficulty managing my heavy workload in all my subjects and often found myself finishing assignments at the last minute. I didn't do as well as I would have liked. I also found it difficult to balance my workload and social life. There were situations where I knew I should stay in and finish my work, but I went out to party with my friends anyway. I don't want to miss out on opportunities to hang out with my friends. For the rest of my college experience, how can I make sure I'm on top of my schoolwork, but also make the most of my social life? -- Work Hard, Play Hard, Tucson, Arizona

DEAR WORK HARD, PLAY HARD: As in school, so in life. You cannot do everything well if you do it all at the same time; it's all about scheduling and balance. Keep a carefully crafted calendar of your responsibilities. Write in studying time, especially for exams. Give yourself times that you can socialize as well. Then honor your schedule. While it may be fun to go to a spontaneous party, resist the temptation when you haven't finished your homework or you have a big test the next day. Reward yourself with playtime only when you deserve it. Yes, you will miss out on some activities, but in the end, you will be successful, responsible and happy.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 20-year-old son is in a serious relationship with his girlfriend. They have been dating for two years now, but they are still in college. They would like to get married, but my husband and I are opposed to it because they are still very young. However, his girlfriend's parents are encouraging them to get married right away. Since they are over 18, we do not have a say, but we really think that they should wait until they graduate from college. We are scared that if they get married now, they may drop out of college and waste everything they have worked for. We do not know what to do. -- Concerned Parents, San Diego

DEAR CONCERNED PARENTS: Since you cannot control their actions, rather than continuing to say no to your son and his girlfriend, take a different tack. Start listening to them. Ask them what their plans are. Find out if they have a strategy for the next few years. When do they want to get married? Do they plan to finish school? When do they want to have children? How will they support each other? Ask, but do not interrogate them.

Make it clear to them that you are no longer trying to tell them what to do, but you want to understand what they intend to do so that you can do your best to support their success.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 12-year-old daughter insists on getting an iPhone for her birthday since all of her friends have one. My husband and I think that she is way too young and does not need an iPhone. Plus, we cannot afford to pay for one. Every time we discuss this with her, it always turns into a huge argument full of screaming and tears. We do not want to give in, but she is being a brat about it and comparing herself to her other friends. At this point, she asks us every day when she is getting her iPhone, and we do not know what to say. We do not want her to feel upset and left out, but we do not want her to think that if she begs for something for long enough, she will eventually get it. How do we teach her these important lessons without getting into another argument? -- Worn-Out Mom, Long Island, New York

DEAR WORN-OUT MOM: Your job as a mom is to enforce your family's rules. Her job as a preteen is to push the limits. You really cannot let her win on every front. What some parents do when their children start demanding expensive things is to tell them to save their money so that they can pay for it. If your daughter gets an allowance, she can save that. If not, you may want to suggest duties that she can fulfill on a regular basis for a particular amount of money. Or you may want to encourage her to offer to do chores for elderly neighbors or others so that she can earn money. She can use gift cards that she receives for her birthday or holidays.

The point is, if she is so inclined to have this phone, require her to be able to pay for it herself.